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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for getting upset husband selling family car for his motorbike?

79 replies

Carlou · 30/05/2023 22:19

we do have two cars. I work shiftwork so not in the same hours as everyone else including husband. We 9 years off retiring and kids have grown. Have only just paid off mortgage after a long slog mainly by me whilst he used our money (and my inheritance money) to buy a company of his own (that we sold at considerable loss 3 yrs ago). Now husband insisting he sells HIS car (which has tow bar and we and other family members use regularly as a work horse) so that he can buy his dream motorcycle. He listed the vehicle without even consulting me and wouldn't listen when I tried to talk to him about it. He has a motorcycle in shed he stripped down years ago but never got fixed mainly due to money issues when he wasn't bringing in a wage and I was keeping the household afloat. This one he was going to sell to help finance his dream machine but now he insists he is going to have both! My vehicle is small, and couldn't tow even if it did have a tow bar. Am I wrong to be upset?

OP posts:
Testina · 30/05/2023 22:23

You’re wrong not to have told him to fuck off years ago over his other stunts.

Astralitzia · 30/05/2023 22:25

It's his car, he can sell it if he likes. If you and your family members need a similar type of car why don't you sell yours instead and buy one? Or he could sell it to the other family members who use it.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 30/05/2023 22:25

Split and take 50:50

Elvis1956 · 30/05/2023 22:45

Sorry. Back up. He bought a business and failed and sold at a loss. Fine can happen to anyone, but you're the one bringing in a wage. He lists the car without discussion...I'm a bloke and I know on the first one my wife would have my back but in two or three she'd be kicking my arse down the road...and he's buying his "dream" motorbike...I think he needs to grow up. Please show him my comment...He's clearly compensating for being very very inadequate

Testina · 31/05/2023 08:44

“Please show him my comment.”
🤣
Jesus wept.
If he needs a “man to man” comment and those posted by women aren’t of any use, even more reason to get rid.

towriteyoumustlive · 31/05/2023 08:54

I'd tell him if he goes ahead and sells the car then the relationship is over.

He sounds like an inconsiderate twat.

You sound like you resent him a lot.

TomatoSandwiches · 31/05/2023 08:55

How have you put up with him and his selfish crap all these years op?
I think I'd leave at this point.

WimpoleHat · 31/05/2023 08:56

Tell him you’re selling your car and buying a diamond bracelet.

CalistoNoSolo · 31/05/2023 08:58

No idea why you've tolerated this loser for so long (why on earth did you let him get his grubby mitts on your inheritance??) but it's time to throw him.back. He sounds fucking awful.

GoalShooter · 31/05/2023 08:58

He is a selfish, selfish man.

CrapBucket · 31/05/2023 08:58

Despite how long you’ve been together, he’s not a keeper is he. I am sure you know this deep down. Good luck for a happier future.

billy1966 · 31/05/2023 08:58

Sounds like you are married to a selfish bully.

Are you happy in your relationship with someone like that?

DismantledKing · 31/05/2023 09:00

Testina · 31/05/2023 08:44

“Please show him my comment.”
🤣
Jesus wept.
If he needs a “man to man” comment and those posted by women aren’t of any use, even more reason to get rid.

Well, yes. Exactly.

GabriellaMontez · 31/05/2023 09:02

Who owns the family car?

SunnySaturdayMorning · 31/05/2023 09:03

YANBU. Regardless of all the other problems I certainly would not be allowing him to have endanger himself and have a motorbike.

Selfish, reckless act.

kitchenhelprequired · 31/05/2023 09:05

I think I'd probably divorce him and spend the next 9 years rebuilding my financial position - retirement is going to be no fun with a feckless spender.

SeasonFinale · 31/05/2023 09:07

How often do you need to tow something through?

TomatoSandwiches · 31/05/2023 09:09

SunnySaturdayMorning · 31/05/2023 09:03

YANBU. Regardless of all the other problems I certainly would not be allowing him to have endanger himself and have a motorbike.

Selfish, reckless act.

🤔 having second thoughts here op, why not take out some life insurance on the git and keep your fingers crossed?

WhimHoff · 31/05/2023 09:12

Let him buy the bike, increase his life insurance, encourage regular riding in the rain.

Enjoy your window hood 😎

*tongue in cheek, but motorbikes are the only thing I won’t let DH do far too bloody dangerous on the roads.

DailyCake · 31/05/2023 09:19

When I met dh he had both a motorbike and a car but he gave up the motorbike when dc came along. Your dh is a selfish dick, plus the insurance will be astronomical at his age. Don't ever lend him your car after he sells his.

ShimmeringShirts · 31/05/2023 09:36

Tbh this would be grounds for separation for me. Doesn’t have to be a permanent one, just time enough for you to see if you’d be happier without him dragging you down and him to realise what an utter wanker he is.

Catspyjamas17 · 31/05/2023 09:43

SunnySaturdayMorning · 31/05/2023 09:03

YANBU. Regardless of all the other problems I certainly would not be allowing him to have endanger himself and have a motorbike.

Selfish, reckless act.

"Allowing" them? Bloody hell, you aren't his mother. I'd be really pissed off if I wanted a motorbike and DH thought he could tell me not to get one. But the issue is not the motorbike, it's the selfishness about money, which sounds like it has been going on for some time.

SunnySaturdayMorning · 31/05/2023 09:55

Catspyjamas17 · 31/05/2023 09:43

"Allowing" them? Bloody hell, you aren't his mother. I'd be really pissed off if I wanted a motorbike and DH thought he could tell me not to get one. But the issue is not the motorbike, it's the selfishness about money, which sounds like it has been going on for some time.

Show quote history

Yep. I wouldn’t allow it. Like tattoos, piercings and smoking, it’s a dealbreaker for me.

A man who is so selfish to risk his life for a childish thrill when he has a family is no man I want to be married to.

Equalitea · 31/05/2023 10:30

I’d have binned the man behind now. Yanbu.

AmandaHoldensLips · 31/05/2023 10:35

Jeez. I just hope you've learned your lesson and set aside an equal amount to whatever he's squandering into an account of your own.

Having a financially irresponsible partner has been the ruin of many a woman. Separate your finances and protect your future.

Frankly I'd be planning a retirement without the giant man-child.

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