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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man lying on grass outside

213 replies

ChekhovsMum · 30/05/2023 15:57

So there’s a man lying flat on his back on the grass opposite from my house.
I saw him as I drove home, walking with the aid of two crutches (not elderly - I would put his age at mid-40s), then just as I pulled into my driveway he appeared to collapse to the ground, although if I had to guess, it looked like a deliberate decision, not a giving-out of his limbs, IYSWIM.
I parked, went up to him and asked if he was okay - did he want me to call anyone, get him some water etc? He said he was fine and didn’t need anything, with an attitude that suggested it was weird of me to ask.
20 minutes later, he’s still there. I can see him from the window. My guess is that he’s drunk, although he didn’t come across that way when he spoke.
I don’t really want to go back out because I’m home alone, and although it’s a residential street most people work very conventional hours around here, so there is a chance of not being seen/heard if I felt unsafe.
I can imagine this happening when I lived in London, but this is a very family-oriented residential area in a leafy town and it just seems so bizarre.
WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
ChekhovsMum · 30/05/2023 16:14

You’re right, I am being a tiny bit Mumsnet shying away from doing the garden. I’ll put on my big girl trousers and go out.
‘Peak Mumsnet’ though…

OP posts:
Thesunnymood · 30/05/2023 16:15

He is on crutches and chilling. Crutches an be tiring.

Go do your front garden. You don't need to stop plans because live and lucid human is chilling on grass nearby...

greennotepad · 30/05/2023 16:15

"I don’t think he’s planning to attack me and no, I also don’t think he’s doing any harm"- then why do you need to put on your big girl pants? What exactly are you worried about?

Thesunnymood · 30/05/2023 16:15

X posted

Coralsunset · 30/05/2023 16:17

Where’s the photo?

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 30/05/2023 16:18

I don't think you need to get all involved in it. You've asked him if he's okay, he's told you he's alright. He's not actually doing anything wrong so let him get on with it.

Saniflo · 30/05/2023 16:19

The middle class have finally lost it!!! Call the police over a guy lying on some grass!!!?!? Omg. You need to get a grip OP if you really won't go and sort your garden because a non-threatening man is on some grass near your house. I can't believe you lot sometimes.

Original poster
ChekhovsMum · 30/05/2023 16:20

greennotepad · 30/05/2023 16:15

"I don’t think he’s planning to attack me and no, I also don’t think he’s doing any harm"- then why do you need to put on your big girl pants? What exactly are you worried about?

What a superb point.

OP posts:
CannotDoThisAnymore · 30/05/2023 16:23

I used to work in a city but in a big country house that was turned i to offices. A few times we would have some bloke face down on the grass outside the front of the building drunk/snoozing. What can you do. If they say they’re ok then just leave them

Speermint · 30/05/2023 16:27

Fiddlerdragon · 30/05/2023 16:03

Sort what out? A man lying down on the grass? I had this by mine the other day. He had a rucksack with him and I thought he was homeless at first. I went out to see if he was ok and it was a man delivering leaflets, he was hot and tired so literally just lay down on the grass for a rest. How is he actually bothering you?

Show quote history

I wouldn’t be happy with a stranger lying on the ground near my home, especially if he was drunk in broad daylight. It’s not respectable behaviour. The type of person who randomly lies on the ground is not the type of person you want hanging around where you live. Maybe some of you live in areas where this sort of behaviour is normal? I would want him moved on asap.

Mangogogogo · 30/05/2023 16:32

I would definitely keep an eye on him. The amount of people (in my job) I have gone to examine and they’ve said they’re fine and they’re not, they just don’t want a fuss/are hoping they magically feel better soon.

btw police will tell you to call ambulance, or comms may call one for you but it is deffo not police grounds I’m afraid.

Nicknacky · 30/05/2023 16:32

Speermint · 30/05/2023 16:27

I wouldn’t be happy with a stranger lying on the ground near my home, especially if he was drunk in broad daylight. It’s not respectable behaviour. The type of person who randomly lies on the ground is not the type of person you want hanging around where you live. Maybe some of you live in areas where this sort of behaviour is normal? I would want him moved on asap.

Show quote history

Oh, stop it. And who exactly do you think should move him on?

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 30/05/2023 16:32

@Speermint I've never had a man randomly laying on the grass near my house before. If I did, I wouldn't contemplate ringing the police or be scared to go out into my garden. Surely unless there's a danger, you would just ignore it.

TheBucketWoman · 30/05/2023 16:33

I too live in a leafy suburb and I can assure you a quick call to the police on your slim
line telephone will swiftly solve your problem.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 16:34

OP, that's nothing. I won't do our front garden unless NDNs have gone out. I don't like being on the receiving end of a fishwife-ing.

Hugasauras · 30/05/2023 16:37

It depends. If it's a really random place for him to be, like a small patch of grass beside a road that no one would ever use for a relaxing sunbathe, then I might think he was impaired in some way, either through alcohol or being unwell. When I worked for the police I called 101 on my way home from work one day as there was a man lying on the grass beside a dual carriageway and it just didn't look 'right'. When I got into work the next day it turned out he had been very very drunk, so I'm glad I rang as he could have got up and wandered into traffic!

It sounds a bit weird but if you've actually spoken to him and he seemed normal enough and isn't in any kind of risk or unwell then I don't think you really need to do anything.

KrisAkabusi · 30/05/2023 16:37

Speermint · 30/05/2023 16:27

I wouldn’t be happy with a stranger lying on the ground near my home, especially if he was drunk in broad daylight. It’s not respectable behaviour. The type of person who randomly lies on the ground is not the type of person you want hanging around where you live. Maybe some of you live in areas where this sort of behaviour is normal? I would want him moved on asap.

Show quote history

Moved on for what? Lying down? That's hardly a crime! And the OP has said that he doesn't appear drunk.

Original poster
ChekhovsMum · 30/05/2023 16:38

I’m not sure people are getting the point I was originally making, which was that despite him saying he was okay, I wasn’t sure that he was. I’m still not sure that he is, but whatever - I’m off to do my garden.
I’m not going to apologise for taking basic steps to keep myself safe when dealing with a man I don’t know who could be really drunk, and I don’t quite understand the ‘fuck me, you’ve completely lost it if you think someone can’t have a lie on the ground if they want’ attitude. I’m sure they can. It’s just that normally they don’t, unless they need help.
I do think this thread is Peak Mumsnet in some ways though. Lots of people joining in to bully a stranger for asking a question, and not being exactly like them in their approach to a problem. A couple of earlier posters were absolutely right - I did a decent thing in asking him if he was ok, and so did more than 99 per cent of the people who have walked or driven by in the meantime, when they have no idea whether he’s okay.

OP posts:
AuntiesWoodenLeg · 30/05/2023 16:38

Can you tell us more about the grass he's lying on? Might help to decide if it's bizarre behaviour or not! E.g. is it a recreation area where you'd expect people to relax, or a grass verge, where you wouldn't?

I do understand your concern in a way, as most people don't just lie down on the ground wherever they happen to be, even if they are tired. You find a bench or something, or get a taxi home if you're really that knackered.

Fandabedodgy · 30/05/2023 16:38

ChekhovsMum · 30/05/2023 16:06

I think calling the police would be a bit much, but doing nothing seems a bit… little? What if he’s still there in an hour? two hours?

Please call the police.

Whilst he could be drunk there are lots of medical conditions which can present as drunk. The police will be able to make an assessment as to whether he needs medical help or help to get home.

PinkyFlamingo · 30/05/2023 16:39

Speermint · 30/05/2023 15:59

I’d call 111 and report it to local police. They will come by and sort it out.

Is it illegal to lie on the grass in the sunshine?

Littleroseseverywhere · 30/05/2023 16:39

Speermint · 30/05/2023 16:27

I wouldn’t be happy with a stranger lying on the ground near my home, especially if he was drunk in broad daylight. It’s not respectable behaviour. The type of person who randomly lies on the ground is not the type of person you want hanging around where you live. Maybe some of you live in areas where this sort of behaviour is normal? I would want him moved on asap.

Show quote history

It’s not respectable behaviour. Alright their hyacinth bouquet,let go of the pearls 😂

the man is on crutches, there will be a reason for this. As such it’s likely he’s struggling and needed to rest his legs. He may have felt dizzy. He is not doing any harm. And stop with the judgment he’s not the sort of person you want hanging round. You should be embarrassed you even thought that, never mind wrote it. What ever current or permanent disability is causing him to use crutches is likely the reason why he lay down.

I’ve no idea why the op was scared to go in her garden, what was he going to do, run over and clobber her with a crutch

Sandylanes69 · 30/05/2023 16:39

Speermint · 30/05/2023 15:59

I’d call 111 and report it to local police. They will come by and sort it out.

I feel a couple of Apaches and a small battalion may be needed too, just to be on the safe side.

Strulch73 · 30/05/2023 16:40

Well done for caring about others. This would worry me too as it's not normal behaviour. I would report it if he is still there in a couple of hours.

DisquietintheRanks · 30/05/2023 16:40

The OP said he didn't seem to be drunk @Fandabedodgy and if the OP is afraid he's ill then an ambulance would be more appropriate than the police who have virtually no medical training.