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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Elderly neighbour v house renovation

195 replies

shazwee · 30/05/2023 15:21

I've inherited a house which had tons of damage, needed new roof, re wire, concrete base new ceilings etc..basically almost has to rebuild, semi detached dormer bungalow. House has been empty for many years. Some things have been done since March, new roof etc..elderly single lady next door is not coping well with the noise of the workmen. It's been difficult as I don't have a massive pot of money to put it right so relying on family and friends etc trying to keep noise to minimum at weekends ( although this is really only the time hubby and I can spare to do bits) I have sent flowers to neighbour, kept her informed etc..gave her some doors etc she wanted , basically I have tried to be as accommodating as possible. Yesterday the plasterer was in and she came round complaining its was a holiday and didn't want to noise ( she is round every time a trade is there complaining about noise) I dont know what else I can do. There is possibility months more of noise to come, plumbers, patio to be laid, new kitchen the list is endless...Yesterday she asked us to tell her everytime noise is going to be made...impossible for us as we're not always there and cannot ask workmen to do so...what can I do, I don't want to fall out but I can't see a way forward..she has had silence from the house for years. I didn't think a plasterer would make any noise 🤔 please help MN friends x

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Oliotya · 30/05/2023 16:58

bussteward · 30/05/2023 16:56

It's just an awful situation that could potentially go on for months and months..even years
Bloody hell, show some agency: this is on you. You’re not a passenger with zero control. You’re choosing to do this!

Either stop and save up to do it within reasonable hours by pros, or sell up. You’re out of your depth.

Sometimes DIY bit by bit is the only way some of us can afford a home.

Lockheart · 30/05/2023 16:59

The work has to be done at some point and unfortunately it will be noisy.

It's better to do it up than for her house to be attached to a property that is not watertight (if the roof needed replacing) or a fire hazard (as it needed a rewire).

Make sure you're doing the works within the legally prescribed hours, keep noise to a minimum where possible, and keep her updated with progress. After that, there is nothing more you can do.

Summerfun54321 · 30/05/2023 16:59

Sorry but you are a nightmare neighbour. You've bought a wreck that you can't afford to do up properly and now doing a slow painful renovation without pausing at the weekends or the bank holiday. Your poor poor neighbour.

rubyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:00

Noise is so disruptive and unsettling
to not be able to relax in your home isn’t something to be dismissed or glossed over
your neighbour is entitled to quiet enjoyment of her property
we bought a house next to one which was in its 7th year of being refurbished
we had a few months of noise and that was just about bearable and our neighbours were very nice about it but it didn’t change the constant noise, clanging etc
but it wasn’t nice and I would be very upset if I was the neighbour
her age is nothing to do with it

rubyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:00

Agree 100%

rubyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:01

Summerfun54321 · 30/05/2023 16:59

Sorry but you are a nightmare neighbour. You've bought a wreck that you can't afford to do up properly and now doing a slow painful renovation without pausing at the weekends or the bank holiday. Your poor poor neighbour.

Agree 100%

Lockheart · 30/05/2023 17:01

Summerfun54321 · 30/05/2023 16:59

Sorry but you are a nightmare neighbour. You've bought a wreck that you can't afford to do up properly and now doing a slow painful renovation without pausing at the weekends or the bank holiday. Your poor poor neighbour.

Read the OP. She didn't buy it, she inherited it.

And it would be even more "poor poor neighbour" if the faulty wiring caught fire and took her house with it.

rivercobbler · 30/05/2023 17:02

My elderly neighbours (3 households, all in their 70s and 80s) were all extremely understanding about the noisy work we had that took about 3 weeks to complete. They all said it could be them doing noisy work in future that we would have to put up with! Your neighbour has lost perspective.

Tabitha005 · 30/05/2023 17:02

bussteward · 30/05/2023 16:56

It's just an awful situation that could potentially go on for months and months..even years
Bloody hell, show some agency: this is on you. You’re not a passenger with zero control. You’re choosing to do this!

Either stop and save up to do it within reasonable hours by pros, or sell up. You’re out of your depth.

Totally unfair on the OP to suggest they're 'out of (their) depth'. Even people whose homes are seemingly flawless and completely renovated/finished carry out maintenance and others have 'noisy' hobbies such as carpentry or fixing up cars. My neighbour's always up to something in his workshop and his house is pristine!

Part of being a human, and living amongst other humans is dealing with noise on a daily basis. I understand some people are more sensitive to it than others, but suggesting someone sell a house that might take them years to do up is just plain daft.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 30/05/2023 17:02

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 16:47

She's just going to have to accept that there will be some noise while the repairs and renovations continue.
You can't help it.
If you sold the property in its current state, the buyer would have to make the same (possibly more) noise.

No she isn't going to have to accept it. Outside of legal noise making hours, which seems to be when the OP's mates are doing the renovations.

rivercobbler · 30/05/2023 17:03

And if OP sells, the buyer will be doing the work. It will happen eventually.

mycoffeecup · 30/05/2023 17:04

rivercobbler · 30/05/2023 17:03

And if OP sells, the buyer will be doing the work. It will happen eventually.

Someone who buys the house will likely budget for the renovations to be done by professionals, in normal working hours.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:04

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 30/05/2023 17:02

No she isn't going to have to accept it. Outside of legal noise making hours, which seems to be when the OP's mates are doing the renovations.

Show quote history

This update from OP - as you seem to have missed it:

shazwee · Today 16:55
OMG ...the plasterer was there for 3 hours on bank hols yes I admit this was wrong in hind sight....at no other time has any noisy works been carried out outside of 8 to 6pm or after 1pm on a sat...we are not stupid or self entitled pricks as someone mentioned...the point is as soon as anyone turns up she is round even before they have got their tools out of the van complaining about the noise !

CannotDoThisAnymore · 30/05/2023 17:04

I think youre doing the best you can op in the situation. Your neighbour is in her 80s, older people cannot tolerate noise as much as younger people but if she’s had no next door neighbour for a long time, any noise from your side will piss her off. Not many of us would have the funds to do a house renovation all in one go and as previous poster said, for many of us, buying a house that needs doing up with not much spare cash, is the way many have to go unfortunately. As long as you are considerate, id crack on. Can you focus on the rooms that connect in the first instance. Get those done and move onto the others?

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:05

mycoffeecup · 30/05/2023 17:04

Someone who buys the house will likely budget for the renovations to be done by professionals, in normal working hours.

Show quote history

See OPs update:

shazwee · Today 16:55
OMG ...the plasterer was there for 3 hours on bank hols yes I admit this was wrong in hind sight....at no other time has any noisy works been carried out outside of 8 to 6pm or after 1pm on a sat...we are not stupid or self entitled pricks as someone mentioned...the point is as soon as anyone turns up she is round even before they have got their tools out of the van complaining about the noise !

saltinesandcoffeecups · 30/05/2023 17:05

Summerfun54321 · 30/05/2023 16:59

Sorry but you are a nightmare neighbour. You've bought a wreck that you can't afford to do up properly and now doing a slow painful renovation without pausing at the weekends or the bank holiday. Your poor poor neighbour.

Except that most of the work is happening on Saturday…

And the house inherited

And she’s getting yelled at for doing things in the afternoon on a weekday

And it’s attached to the neighbor who presumably hadn’t heard any building works for years until the OP

And… you know what never mind if haven’t bothered to read the OP’s posts crack on with your not relevant comments, you’re only embarrassing yourself.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:07

@saltinesandcoffeecups well said.

SgtBilko · 30/05/2023 17:09

You are being unreasonable. There are set hours by the council for noisy works and doing them on a bank holiday is unfair. She has as much right to peace in her home on weekends and evenings as anyone else. I feel sorry for her.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:10

@SgtBilko have you read OPs update:

shazwee · Today 16:55
OMG ...the plasterer was there for 3 hours on bank hols yes I admit this was wrong in hind sight....at no other time has any noisy works been carried out outside of 8 to 6pm or after 1pm on a sat...we are not stupid or self entitled pricks as someone mentioned...the point is as soon as anyone turns up she is round even before they have got their tools out of the van complaining about the noise !

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 30/05/2023 17:12

@shazwee You need to find contractors with silent vans Wink

Nanny0gg · 30/05/2023 17:12

rivercobbler · 30/05/2023 17:02

My elderly neighbours (3 households, all in their 70s and 80s) were all extremely understanding about the noisy work we had that took about 3 weeks to complete. They all said it could be them doing noisy work in future that we would have to put up with! Your neighbour has lost perspective.

3 weeks is reasonable.

Years - not so much.

And buying her flowers isn't going to make up for it

GuinnessBird · 30/05/2023 17:12

There's some batshit posts here, I can't see what the OP has done wrong?

Vintagejazzing · 30/05/2023 17:13

Presumably it's not just this 'elderly single' woman who's being impacted. I imagine other neighbours are annoyed by the noise, vans parked everywhere etc.
We've had this for years on our road, one house after another being bought and then almost completely rebuilt. It's awful and really causes problems for people living around. In your case it may be essential work, in our situation it's people who want to live on our road and have houses that look period from the outside, but they want them totally modern inside. It's beyond annoying, expecting everyone around to live in a permanent building site so they can have their perfect house in their perfect location.

Anon6842 · 30/05/2023 17:13

Summerfun54321 · 30/05/2023 16:59

Sorry but you are a nightmare neighbour. You've bought a wreck that you can't afford to do up properly and now doing a slow painful renovation without pausing at the weekends or the bank holiday. Your poor poor neighbour.

What utter nonsense! You clearly have no concept of what a nightmare neighbour is.
Not everyone has the funds to get trades people in to do a renovation in under a week .

OP has every right to carry out essential maintenance and work on her property, working within legal limitations.

JenWillsiam · 30/05/2023 17:14

You need to rein it in over the weekend.

And construction on a bank holiday is a hard no.

perhaps if you start being reasonable she will.