Gift for cheater.

[Iwasrightallalong]

Posting here as not sure where else to post.

Really odd question but what would you buy for Father’s Day for a recent ex that you just found out had cheated on you so there’s a lot of upset and hurt feelings etc.

i would love to just get nothing at all but unfortunately DC is too young to buy their own gift and I don’t want to come across as the bitter ex and like I’m trying to get back at him through his DC.

But equally I’m not a complete fool so don’t want to go to huge expense or effort, any ideas?

This is ridiculous! Don't get him anything. If you DC were old enough to choose something and would be upset if they hadn't got him anything, then I'd let them have the materials to make something( junk modelling plus glitter) . But as they don't even know it's Father's Day, it doesn't benefit DC at all.
He's cheated on you while your DC is still a baby, I can't see that he deserves any consideration from you. Why is it your job to tell him he's a great dad, when he so clearly isn't? If anyone else thinks he should have a card/present, let them deal with it.

A nice card (definitely not to the best dad ever) and a £20 shirt from Next with a gift receipt. Be the bigger person and do it for your kids. It's not about him, it's about your kids and your standards. Don't stoop to his level.

Set your own standards, as this will continue for many years. Your kids will begin to see the pattern as they age and you will have no regrets in future, as you always did the right thing by them. Trust me, I'm many years into this! 😁

What did he get you for mothers day? If you got something then I suppose you would have to get him something or do you? If child is a baby I wouldn't bother with anything at all it's from child to show appreciation for parent so they can do that when they are older and want to. If you really feel you have to do something draw round their hand on a bit of paper and write happy fathers day on it you can pretend that it is personal and thoughtful but actually took 2 seconds no effort and cost nothing.

I applaud you

I like your style. Brilliant.

Can DC just make a card, if they're really young just scribbles and you can print off some Happy fathers day picture and stick it on removing any need for you to handwright anything.

(Maybe just me but I couldn't bring myself to write out a card for a cheater without drawing a very big prick on it!)

Thanks everyone, yes he did get me a gift for Mother’s Day, although that was prior to the cheating being confirmed.

i know DC doesn’t understand but it’s just something we decided to do, to get each other a card and gift for the day to mark the occasion until DC is old enough to do it themselves.
For those saying I’m silly or ridiculous etc, my ex and his family are turning out to not be the nicest of people, really quite dangerous actually (not physically) so whilst I don’t care a jot what any of them think of me I will do what I can to avoid being made out to be the crazy, bitter ex, I feel it very important not to give any of them any kind of ammunition they can use against me.

If DC is too young to understand Father’s Day, don’t bother with it. It will only be when the kid goes to preschool or school that they really understand it anyway.

How old is DC? If too young to even know, then nothing.

In that case just go to the supermarket or poundstore and let DC pick something

A dad mug. Nobody wants that tat but kids love it. He can’t get rid of it because kids will ask about it.

I wouldn’t get a dad mug. They usually say “World’s Greatest” or refer to superheroes, etc. He doesn’t sound great, and also he will
know that OP chose it.

Just something you know he hates.

I got the car in divorce, he still had to pay the loan as it wasn't secured on the car and he had a company car so judge gave me the family car, couple months later he lost job and got another but with no car so had to rely on public transport for a while. It was Father's Day during his public transport stint (he was furious he couldn't just make me return the car) so I bought him a very swanky car cleaning kit.

I really don’t get the gift buying stuff for Father’s Day. A shirt as a present from a baby? It’s supposed to be from the child. So anything more than a self-made card, painting or toilet roll sculpture completely misses the point.

Apart from that it could also send out the message that you are a bit desperate to have him back.

Poundland is your friend here. Child gets £1 and can choose anything they think dad would like. If they’re too young to choose get a box of maltesers.

I do think that it’s important to teach children about gift giving and mine would have been upset to get their dad nothing.

Not a single thing.

No card.

No gift.

No acknowledgement of the the day whatsoever.
When DC is older they can do something themselves if they'd like to but at the moment I'd do absolutely nothing for him.

I'd get him this lego set 😉

Fuck that, mine got nothing, nothing for Xmas or his birthday either, he didn’t deserve it

How about a framed picture of the kids?

In our household the classic father's Day gifts have always been beer/wine/chocolates. Could you get a supermarket box of chocs? Lindor, or a big toblerone or similar? That's neither very intimate nor offensive. Then a bought card (maybe a blank one to save it having "best dad" or whatever in it? Assuming the little one is so little they can't scribble anything on it etc?

A card saying worlds best dad. He will know your taking the piss but can’t say anything without acknowledging he’s a failure.

Nothing at all. Your ex is responsible for his relationship with his son. I’m astonished anyone thinks you should. This is going to sound a bit harsh because you have kind intentions, but why on earth would you even consider picking out a card or present for your cheating ex, unless you still want to please him.

Sorry, just saw your update. Still don’t think you should get anything.

I’ve seen some spectacularly rubbish ones that just say Dad, one that just says happy Father’s Day is the way to go. Buy 5 the same and just give one every year.