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AIBU?

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Original poster

Gift for cheater.

105 replies

Iwasrightallalong · 29/05/2023 22:38

Posting here as not sure where else to post.

Really odd question but what would you buy for Father’s Day for a recent ex that you just found out had cheated on you so there’s a lot of upset and hurt feelings etc.

i would love to just get nothing at all but unfortunately DC is too young to buy their own gift and I don’t want to come across as the bitter ex and like I’m trying to get back at him through his DC.

But equally I’m not a complete fool so don’t want to go to huge expense or effort, any ideas?

OP posts:
jocktamsonsbairn · 29/05/2023 23:01

I got my cheating x a card and gift every year from my dc. He didn't reciprocate but it wasn't for him. It was for my dc. Ex was/is a complete arse who is now out of their lives but that was DCs choices as adults. I tried to keep all channels open fir them so my dc would never blame me for them not having their dad in their lives. He managed to F that up all by himself.

I used to buy the crappies 29p card that said Happy Father's Day on it and nothing else, take the DC to the £1 shop and let them pick something. Their choice regardless. Some years it was sweets, other years more ridiculous!! After all the gift was from them... £1.29 ✅. EX was extremely narcissistic and probably didn't appreciate the £1 shop gift, but then if he had paid maintenance I'd have had more money!!

TreeLine23 · 29/05/2023 23:01

A cactus? Because he's a prick?

jocktamsonsbairn · 29/05/2023 23:04

@IAteAllTheTomatoes I think we sent that one once!! 😂

NotStayingIn · 29/05/2023 23:04

If they are that young still that they don't understand it why do it at all? You'd just come across as a mug as you're clearly not doing it for your child, as they are still too young to care.

Mumof3confused · 29/05/2023 23:06

Don’t bother. They won’t know any different

TeaKitten · 29/05/2023 23:07

If DC is too young to choose something don’t bother, because it’s just from you and thatl show to ex. If DC goes to nursery they might make a card which would be a bonus.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 29/05/2023 23:07

How recent? Did he arrange something with the DC for Mother's Day (either before or after the break up).

Do they go to nursery? Often they do cards etc from nursery - so you wouldn't even need to buy a 50p card.

LongDarkTeatime · 29/05/2023 23:10

As others have suggested, fold a piece of paper in half and get DC to scribble on it. Nothing else needed. Start the tradition now

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 29/05/2023 23:11

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 29/05/2023 22:51

Make sure you leave the price tag on as well!

Show quote history

Oh absolutely!

Summerfun54321 · 29/05/2023 23:11

Your child is your priority now. If they are too young to understand then dont do anything surely. No need to not act bitter, you got cheated on and you have a young child together. No one is expecting you to buy this prick a present.

barmycatmum · 29/05/2023 23:13

Nope. Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. No acknowledgment either.
if he had wanted to be a good father and role model, he wouldn’t have cheated.

your child can choose whether or not to do Father’s Day when they get older. You don’t have to put energy toward being kind to this utter arsehole.

Caroparo52 · 29/05/2023 23:24

My dog buys me exactly the right expensive gift from the dc each time a birthday or xmas arrives😉

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 29/05/2023 23:28

If DC is that young,.I wouldn't bother. But if you have to, just get a card.

YungDumbThrills · 29/05/2023 23:31

My ex did the same, and he puts zero effort into anything he gets me from DS, I didn't even get a card for my last birthday. However, I pride myself on still buying him the gifts I would have got had we still been together. I want DS to look back and Remember that Mummy always made sure he had something to give his dad no matter what he put me through! It's for DS's benefit, not mine/his dads. I refuse to get anything with amazing dad etc on it though, as he's absolutely useless!

RoseRobot · 29/05/2023 23:33

I'd let your DC make him a card and leave it at that. He's not your dad and you are no longer obliged to make an effort for him. Hd should be delighted with a card.

How you come across is none of his business. Anyway, you can be bitter if you choose. If someone's character deserves to be up for criticism, it isn't yours

MumsShark · 29/05/2023 23:34

Nothing? I don't get my ex anything. I use to but he asked me not to.

Shadowworry · 29/05/2023 23:36

Nothing

I tried and made an effort I wish I hadn’t.

just don’t bother with it - he didn’t think of his child never mind his wife when he was cheating did he

BitOutOfPractice · 29/05/2023 23:37

If the dc is too young to read I’d get a mug or a t shirt that said “cheating arsehole” on the front.

I wouldn’t really. I’d get nothing. I’d supervise the dc making a card and text his own father she tell h to get something sorted.

Clymene · 29/05/2023 23:37

If your child is too young to know or care, nothing.

BlondeFool · 29/05/2023 23:38

Absolutely nothing.

Duckingella · 29/05/2023 23:41

Poundland.

A card and a mug.£2 job done.

determinedtomakethiswork · 29/05/2023 23:43

If your children are too young to know about the celebration then you have no reason to give them anything to give to their dad. Just say nothing and ignore the occasion. You are well rid of him.

AsphaltGirl · 29/05/2023 23:44

Nothing

SparklyBlackKitten · 29/05/2023 23:45

How are you even entertaining spending money on him 🤣

Get your kid to draw something

Done

The end :)

NewPinkJacket · 29/05/2023 23:47

This is silly OP and I'd say that even if he hadn't cheated.

If the child is too young to understand, then they're too young for gifts to matter.

If they're old enough to make a card or draw a picture then let them do that. If they're not then wait until they're a bit older.

Are you hoping for a Mother's Day present from your ex? Is that what this is about?

Because if not, I can't fathom what it is about because it's certainly not about a child making/buying a Father's Day gift.

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