Ask you to help with these bitchy comments?

[eyesoftheocean]

It’s a friend of a friend and I’ve been out for dinner with her twice - with my friend.

The first time it was a set menu and she laughed at my food when it arrived (you had to preorder) and said “oh my god is that what you ordered”

The other time we just ordered a small snack whilst having a drink and I had nachos and she said “so you just ordered crisps and you’re only eating the sour cream” - when I was eating all the dips. For reference all she had were chips.

It’s frankly bizarre how much she focuses on what I eat. I’m out for lunch later and I know something will be said.

“so you just ordered crisps and you’re only eating the sour cream”

Says the one sat there with a plate of plain chips like a 4 year old.

Hope you have a great time.

Lots of good suggested responses on here. One thing I find helpful once I identify that someone I know is a complete fuckwit (technical term) is to play a little game to predict (to myself, and anyone else in on it, usually my fella) what they will say, or do, and when. I think it helps you feel more in control, removes the element of surprise and it makes you feel good when you're right. So instead of feeling irritated when they come out with their negative comment you have a little chuckle to yourself about how entirely predictable they are and that you absolutely have their number. Just a little trick that helps me sail through life without getting too annoyed by the many, many arseholes around, despite their best efforts.

OP, I think you need to perfect the 'Paddington Bear Hard Stare', perhaps teamed with the 'Single-Eyebrow-Raise.'

Stops most comments, including those from teenagers, so it must be good.

Yes of course which is why I gave a different opinion in case it’s not meant in a bitchy way.

And why I said if OP is offended then I’d tell her to mind her business.

Just tell her it's weird she's so obsessed with what other people are eating

Your friend called you a "grub" for having a perfectly normal meal? What's a grub?!

Fair enough. I do tend to think though enjoying ‘close to the bone banter’ type relationships have to come with the caveat you back off and ideally apologise when you sense you’ve crossed someone’s line.

From the OP’s account I’m not getting much sense that there was much recognition that she’d made the OP uncomfortable regardless of if she meant to convey something else.

I dunno. As said, if I was out with mates and one ordered nachos then sat there just eating sour cream, I’d be tempted to say something, I’d defo think it. And I guess much depends on what she ordered the first time too.

I mean it’s impolite to comment but if someone’s doing weird shit it is tempting to comment.

The simplest option is 'What the fuck has it got to do with you what I eat?

You're right. It is impolite.

And she isn't an actual friend of the OP

Eating sour cream on its own is worthy of a comment!! Were you just eating it with a spoon??

You're right. It is impolite.And she isn't an actual friend of the OP

well colour me impolite and not giving a shit, you’re sitting there scoffing sour cream on its own, too right I’d comment, as said if you pull weird shit in public you can expect it to be commented on. 😂

Threads like this make me understand why women overwhelmingly vote in favour of male bosses.

In what circumstances do women vote for male bosses?

I couldn’t imagine saying something like “eww how can you eat that” because I’m an adult that doesn’t tend to focus on what others eat and can understand the concept that people like different things.

Think you’ve given a good answer yourself here OP! If it were me I’d just tell the one that is your friend that you’ll see them alone In future as lunch out should be fun and enjoyable and her friend is deliberately spoiling this for you. I wouldn’t put up with it.

“oh my god is that what you ordered”

"Yes it is and it looks absolutely delicious...not sure about yours though"

“so you just ordered crisps and you’re only eating the sour cream”

"And how are your plain chips.....they would probably taste better with a dip I imagine."

All said with a smile on your face.

I don't think it really matters exactly what you say as long as you don't try and justify your choice or let on in any way that it makes you feel self conscious.

She does sound rather odd.

This thread just illustrates how difficult female friendships can be. Her comments don't sound bitchy. This wouldn't bother me. Seriously, men don't pick apart ever tiny thing their friends say to them in this way. Its exhausting and puts me off socialising as you have to watch every single thing you say in case it causes offence

Ask her, ‘do you have an issue with my food’?

I always find single word answers and a flat stare work well in situations like this.

“oh my god is that what you ordered?”
"Yes."

“so you just ordered crisps and you’re only eating the sour cream?”
"Yes."

I'd do this while making prolonged eye contact and eating as much sour cream as I could fit on a single nacho at once.

As you're probably enjoying your meal at the mo, it's a bit late for me to suggest that well known phrase "Fuck off, cunty chops."
😁

Just turn everything back..."Do you have a problem with my meal?" ... "Oh, you're on chips again <shrug>" ... "You need to change your order next time, instead of envying mine"

Getting vicariously irritated on your behalf 🤣

My dad does this thing when someone’s being rude. He doesn’t respond, just lets it hang, and then, offering no sign of having heard a peep, moves the conversation on -

Her: oh my gaaawd what are you eating -
You: takes a bite, chews, swallows, turns to non-rude friend - ‘What was all that carry on at head office about/I was thinking, how’s your Ian getting on?’

It really makes people uncomfortable. Nowhere to hide, no reaction, they’re just a noise.

enjoy your lunch 🤪

I like the 'who are you the food police?' response best. Hope you use that one; and 'food police have arrived again' for subsequent comments... Waiting for update!

Too late to give advice, so now I'm just here for the update. :)