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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to celebrate paying off the mortgage

119 replies

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 28/05/2023 23:19

Not something I can say out loud in RL, as know how insane prices are nowadays and it's hard for people to buy a house, or even pay monthly mortgage payments, but ours has just finished.
Just it's a part of life I feel I need to keep quiet, not sure what to say when talking to others when they're mentioning rent or mortgage payment troubles keeping up etc, and how do I manage it
Just nod and agree it's difficult (as I know how that feels and how shit it feels to scrape by all too well) is what I usually do but it doesn't seem right as by doing this it sounds like I'm paying rent or mortgage payments?
Anyone else rent or mortgage free, as I say can't say in RL and hard to find anyone online who is

OP posts:
IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 28/05/2023 23:21

I felt exactly the same when we paid ours off last month.3 days later DH was put on notice of redundancy, so the quiet jubilance didn't last long.

northernlola · 28/05/2023 23:22

I'm not yet but plan to be in a few years. Congratulations!! It's sad you can't say it out loud. I do get why though.

But you've worked hard to get here! (I assume)

SchoolShenanigans · 28/05/2023 23:22

You've literally just paid it off so surely you can suitably empathise, nod your head and say something like "I know, mortgage rates are crazy, aren't they" and leave it there.

I work part time, I have no problem talking to my friends who work full time about how annoying work is.

You're making this a big deal. Everyone will pay their mortgage off eventually, it's not like you've won the lottery.

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 28/05/2023 23:22

Oooh not sure why there's voting enabled, that must just be automatic as didnt enable that!

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 28/05/2023 23:25

It's a great feeling OP
We paid ours off years ago and felt like such a huge achievement. Enjoy this time you worked hard for it so don't feel guilty.

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 28/05/2023 23:25

SchoolShenanigans · 28/05/2023 23:22

You've literally just paid it off so surely you can suitably empathise, nod your head and say something like "I know, mortgage rates are crazy, aren't they" and leave it there.

I work part time, I have no problem talking to my friends who work full time about how annoying work is.

You're making this a big deal. Everyone will pay their mortgage off eventually, it's not like you've won the lottery.

You've literally just paid it off so surely you can suitably empathise, nod your head and say something like "I know, mortgage rates are crazy, aren't they" and leave it there
That's literally what I said I do do though, to my friends both with mortgages and renting?
Saying "oh it's so good to have paid it all off" is something you feel you can't share with anyone.

OP posts:
BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 28/05/2023 23:35

northernlola · 28/05/2023 23:22

I'm not yet but plan to be in a few years. Congratulations!! It's sad you can't say it out loud. I do get why though.

But you've worked hard to get here! (I assume)

Yes, been a lot of years scraping with no spare money at all

OP posts:
MyYoniSaysNoni · 28/05/2023 23:38

We're mortgage free (inheritance). Very few people know.

If you want to have a quiet celebration could you save your next 6 months of mortgage payments and use it for an amazing holiday? Or buy a beautiful painting, whatever - just do something with it that brings you joy? That way you don't need to advertise to the whole world youve paid it off but you still get to mark it privately.

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 28/05/2023 23:40

MyYoniSaysNoni · 28/05/2023 23:38

We're mortgage free (inheritance). Very few people know.

If you want to have a quiet celebration could you save your next 6 months of mortgage payments and use it for an amazing holiday? Or buy a beautiful painting, whatever - just do something with it that brings you joy? That way you don't need to advertise to the whole world youve paid it off but you still get to mark it privately.

If you want to have a quiet celebration could you save your next 6 months of mortgage payments and use it for an amazing holiday?
That's a good idea, save all the money I would have been paying out and do something nice with it

OP posts:
SpringIet · 28/05/2023 23:42

Celebrate! What a millstone off!

Rosesarered1234 · 28/05/2023 23:43

Congratulations OP! x

Happiestathome · 28/05/2023 23:44

Congratulations! It’s a big moment and something to feel proud of. The current climate is difficult for lots of people but I’m sure close friends and family would be happy for you if you wanted to share your news

Deathbyfluffy · 28/05/2023 23:46

Well done you. You can of course tell people you’ve paid it off, and true friends will be happy for you rather than letting jealousy get in the way of their reaction.

We paid ours off a couple of years ago and it was a great feeling.

FrenchandSaunders · 28/05/2023 23:46

We told very few people. Our neighbour put it on Facebook (his, not ours!). Bit daft considering he ran a local business …. people would expect cheap quotes!

Deathbyfluffy · 28/05/2023 23:46

SchoolShenanigans · 28/05/2023 23:22

You've literally just paid it off so surely you can suitably empathise, nod your head and say something like "I know, mortgage rates are crazy, aren't they" and leave it there.

I work part time, I have no problem talking to my friends who work full time about how annoying work is.

You're making this a big deal. Everyone will pay their mortgage off eventually, it's not like you've won the lottery.

It is a big deal, and should be celebrated.
In my experience those who play it down are just bitter, and should probably try and be more supportive.

ThinWomansBrain · 28/05/2023 23:51

I paid mine off about 8-10 years ago (well, there's a nominal balance of about £100 because I read somewhere that you were less vulnerable to fraud if there was still a mortgage on the property). Certainly discussed /celebrated with close friends at the time.

I don't know whether it's because I have a wider age range of friends than I did when I was younger, but haven't encountered a conversation about mortgages/house prices in years; I think because there's such a divide and hard for young people to get on the housing ladder, the topic is much avoided these days. I know that for many colleagues, buying a house is a bit of a pipe dream.

waterlego · 28/05/2023 23:54

I have owned my house mortgage free since I was 35. It’s not something I have ever needed to announce or bring up in conversation. I’ve never met anyone crass enough to directly ask me how much my mortgage is or even if I’ve got one. In my experience, people don’t ask those kinds of questions.

Yes, I sometimes have conversations with friends about money where friends might lament the cost of their mortgage, but they haven’t then asked me how I manage to pay mine and I can’t really imagine anyone asking that. There is plenty I can still talk about in terms of costs of living, worrying about whether I’m putting enough in my pension etc so it’s not like the whole conversation shuts down because I don’t comment on my (lack of) mortgage.

Mamadothehump · 29/05/2023 00:00

How often does it come up though? Ours has been paid off for a few years but I've not ever said IIRC. I'm not even sure my parents know 🤷‍♀️

Fozzleyplum · 29/05/2023 00:02

We paid ours off a few months ago. We celebrated quietly, but have not mentioned it to anyone else, because it's noone else's business.

SKIPWAY · 29/05/2023 00:05

I'm mortgage free due to a critical illness policy paying out. I've always felt like I cheated a bit (wasn't my hard work that paid it off) or the "poor thing" face I get if I tell someone, so I don't. If I were you I would celebrate, its a life milestone ❤️

emmylousings · 29/05/2023 00:17

Celebrate having capital that can be used if you have care needs long term.
Celebrate not having a massive 'housing cost' line in your bills each month, its very liberating. You still need to work to pay bills, but the stress level and freedom to make decisions around work, are great.
Just be discreet about it and remember, pride comes before a fall...apparently!

Spectre8 · 29/05/2023 00:27

I've got 14yrs left and trying to pay it off quicker. Hell yeah be celebrating with a swanky holiday. You have achieved a certain level of financial freedom once its paid off so why wouldn't you celebrate.

I rarely disclose my financial situation to anyone

DramaAlpaca · 29/05/2023 00:53

I know what you mean, OP. We paid ours off a couple of years back and it's a great feeling. I didn't tell anyone. Still haven't IRL though I've mentioned it on here. We throw the equivalent amount per month into pensions now.

Allrightmylover · 29/05/2023 01:02

I did not tell anyone, not because I had any sort of guilt but because they would know I had spare money and I would possibly offend by refusing a loan or being expected to sub people.

HeddaGarbled · 29/05/2023 01:03

You can celebrate as a couple in whichever way you choose without mentioning it to anyone else.