Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to celebrate paying off the mortgage

119 replies

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 28/05/2023 23:19

Not something I can say out loud in RL, as know how insane prices are nowadays and it's hard for people to buy a house, or even pay monthly mortgage payments, but ours has just finished.
Just it's a part of life I feel I need to keep quiet, not sure what to say when talking to others when they're mentioning rent or mortgage payment troubles keeping up etc, and how do I manage it
Just nod and agree it's difficult (as I know how that feels and how shit it feels to scrape by all too well) is what I usually do but it doesn't seem right as by doing this it sounds like I'm paying rent or mortgage payments?
Anyone else rent or mortgage free, as I say can't say in RL and hard to find anyone online who is

OP posts:
SpringSummerDreamer · 29/05/2023 08:19

Why is this even an issue? I wouldn't normally get drawn into discussion about personal finances. If asked directly by a friend, I'd say just 'we paid it off recently, which felt great after 25/30/35 long years!' and move the conversation on. Surely it's not a big deal - we all have different personal circumstances.

Weallgottachangesometime · 29/05/2023 08:21

Sound like you’re an empathetic person and can respond sensitively to people even if they you aren’t in the same position. I think you can share without making others feel crap.

I’d be fine with a friend telling me they paid off their mortgage. I’d be happy for them. I wouldn’t want to talk about it A LOT if I was struggling but I’d understand if it came up in the conversation when it recently happened. I am fairly open with finances though and I know some people aren’t that way.

Only thing I wouldn’t say to friends is comments like “well we’ve worked hard to pay it off” or comments that could be taken as anyone can do it if they try hard enough, because from the other side that can be taken badly. From the sound of your Op I doubt you would say anything like that anyway.

The only time I’ve been miffed with a friend during mortgage/rent talk is when a friend ranted on about the importance of buying while we were renting…..they’d been given 50k from an inheritance but didn’t mention that luck when talking. Other than that it’s kind of enlightening to hear other people financial situation.

Flunkey · 29/05/2023 08:22

I don't feel any envy that you have paid off your mortgage and I'm still on the hook for roughly £200k.

I'd congratulate you in person and raise a glass of champagne for you.

I wish everyone could handle other peoples achievements in good grace. It would be a much better world.

Until that day comes you are probably right to just quietly celebrate and mark the occassion with some well earned indulgence!

I'm surprised you haven't been roasted on here for your good fortune. Human nature as it is. If you do, then know it's their problem not yours.

SmugglersHaunt · 29/05/2023 08:23

Congratulations!

widowtwankywashroom · 29/05/2023 08:25

I get where you're coming from OP
We paid our mortgage off recently and it was down to the Money we saved during covid, by me working extra shifts
Also managed to put a fair bit in the bank

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 29/05/2023 08:28

I would absolutely be celebrating this!

I hate the idea that nobody can celebrate anything just in case other people might be struggling.

Absolutely you should be celebrating your achievements - anyone who can't be happy for you isn't a good friend IMO

PumpkinPie77 · 29/05/2023 08:28

Congratulations OP!

AngelasAirpods · 29/05/2023 08:30

SpringSummerDreamer · 29/05/2023 08:19

Why is this even an issue? I wouldn't normally get drawn into discussion about personal finances. If asked directly by a friend, I'd say just 'we paid it off recently, which felt great after 25/30/35 long years!' and move the conversation on. Surely it's not a big deal - we all have different personal circumstances.

Exactly this!

applecharlotte12 · 29/05/2023 08:31

We're stuck in a 2 bed flat due to the cladding crisis so can't move, have a leak in my kitchen ceiling and have just under £300k left on our mortgage and am delighted for you! What freedom!

It's lovely that you're so sensitive to others feelings but if you were my close friend I'd be really happy for you too.

willWillSmithsmith · 29/05/2023 08:33

Congratulations! It’s a wonderful feeling isn’t it! I always find it odd when people choose not to pay off their mortgage when they have the chance to as it’s such a good feeling to know no matter what happens in life you have a home and you no longer have to worry about mortgages. I’ve been mortgage free for a number of years and I have thanked my lucky stars for it on many occasions through the hard times (break up, job loss, illness etc).

Dibbydoos · 29/05/2023 08:58

Congrats! I took out a big mortgage 4 years ago, thought itd be my last house, but thats not going to be the case. Anyway, I've been overpaying like heck in last 2 years since I became self-employed and my kids became adults and got jobs and I'm around 5 years away from being mortgage free now. I honestly cannot wait, so big congratulations to you 🥳

Ref friends etc, yes they'd all be envious, some might expect you to pick up more costs eg drinks/lunches etc, so def best to keep it close to you x

iamaMused · 29/05/2023 09:01

I was in this situation recently with my best friend, she has history for social media bragging and over the years it has cost her many friends, a few of which have told her why they were 'defriending' her.
Over the past 12 months she mentioned the fateful date of final mortgage payment maybe 100 times and she asked me should she post about it as she wants her friends to know how hard she's worked, which I totally understand, i counselled her against it as I realised how hurt she'd been previously when her friends dropped her citing her excessive bragging.

I said to celebrate with her husband and like minded people as, in the current financial climate some of her friends are struggling to make ends meet, at the time the energy/food/mortgage prices were rising I thought that bragging about fancy holidays, restaurant visits and final mortgage payment which in itself is a fantastic achievement can be seen as 'rubbing people's noses in it' when they work equally as hard but haven't been given inheritances like she has.
She took advice from a more 'braggy' friend and posted, the comments where not what she wanted, the post was cringy and the subsequent comments were congratulatory but cold, she was upset.

I found when we pressed the send button when we made our final payment totally underwhelming but I appreciate how lucky I was to buy in early 2000 when houses were affordable. An earlier post said when people talk about mortgages etc to smile and agree, that's exactly what I do as people don't need to know my financial business, it's just not British Smile

Malarandras · 29/05/2023 09:07

Mine was paid off when I was widowed. I mention it fairly frequently as when I tell people I’m a widow I often feel the need to follow up with something positive about the situation. Otherwise the conversation ends and everybody just looks incredibly awkward..

Simonlebonbon · 29/05/2023 09:15

Many congratulations @BodgerLovesMashedPotato!

jay55 · 29/05/2023 09:16

Congratulations
I hope you take a minute to spin around and shout mine mine mine Grin

Enjoy the freedom from the payments.

Babdoc · 29/05/2023 09:25

OP, that’s like not being able to celebrate a pregnancy when friends are childless. You should be able to at least mention it, and good friends would be happy for you.
My DD and her partner paid off their mortgage this year at the age of 33, but it was sadly due to inheritance from partner’s much loved grandmother dying.
They still decided to tell friends and go out for a meal.
I paid off mine at 35, again for a sad reason - DH’s early death. I certainly didn’t feel like celebrating, but I remember mentioning to friends that at least I wouldn’t have to sell my home while trying to work and support two babies on my own.

Minfilia · 29/05/2023 09:45

Congratulations!

Ours will be paid off in October 🎉 and I can’t/won’t tell anyone IRL either… Apart from maybe one friend who is fairly well off.

It’s come at a good time for us though, we’ve had to sacrifice and cut back so much over the last 12-18 months just to be able to afford our bills so the spare cash will be lovely!

Polis · 29/05/2023 09:45

Ours is paid off. No inheritances thankfully. Unless asked directly, we don’t mention it.

Motnight · 29/05/2023 09:47

Congratulations 0p!

Willmafrockfit · 29/05/2023 09:50

i dont think it is a subject to put on facebook
perhaps family/close friends
but it is your financial business

snoozingbaby1476 · 29/05/2023 09:53

Oh well done. That's an amazing achievement
I would take next months mortgage payment and treat myself to something to celebrate. I will definitely celebrate when we pay ours off.....in approx 13 years!

TulipCat · 29/05/2023 09:56

Ours is almost paid off now due to inheritance. I agree that it's not something to mention outside of close circles and especially not to anyone connected with work. It's such a good feeling to know we can now start properly saving for retirement, and can stop worrying about massive interest rate rises.

Rightnowstraightaway · 29/05/2023 12:38

We paid ours off when I was 41. We told a couple of people we knew were mortgage free, otherwise didn't do much to celebrate! It's basically enabled me to be a sahm without impacting our lifestyle.

Bargellobitch · 29/05/2023 12:42

Surely you'd just celebrate it like you would another milestone like with a holiday or treat? I don't think it's the sort of thing I'd be telling loads of people about but would say if the asked about the treat for example. It's a huge deal I'd definitely celebrate it.

I don't think it's disingenuous to nod along with people talking about high rent or mortgage it's not like you don't know what it's like. I'd probably not say anything to people I didn't know well as people make all sorts of assumptions based on nothing.

Chickenkeev · 29/05/2023 12:46

Congrats and well done! We own our house outright via inheritance and a gift (we're blessed!) We rented prior to getting the house and it was so so hard, there's no security at all. Always the fear of rent going up and having to move somewhere that's accessible to school and work. I hated renting.

Swipe left for the next trending thread