To ask if anyone else felt a defined point where nights out no longer interested them

[lucadore]

I used to love going out for drinks but less so these days as we’re growing up, we hope to start a family later this year but I feel like naturally my mindset is shifting from nights out to it not really being my scene and preferring nights in. Did anyone else get this in their twenties or am I ancient before my time lol?

Echoing above. It’s nothing to do with getting wankered. It’s lovey to go out and watch a gig, comedy show, dinner with friends, festivals. Just socialising. With or without booze.

I have no interest in clubbing until dawn but would hate to be stuck inside at home every night.

About 26 when I was having my second child. I never went out clubbing after that. I'm 35 now and I don't miss it. I still like going for drinks with my husband and friends, which rarely happens, but I enjoy it when I do. But I come home reasonably early. I just prefer being at home.

Yes, this is quite sad. If you weren’t mothers would you still describe yourselves as embarrassing? Unless we are missing the point and you did some embarrassing things (which would be embarrassing for any age/sex/children or not). I hate when people put women down like this, it doesn’t matter if you want to stay in or go out. If you’re a mum, dad, or not. If you’re old, young, or somewhere in between. Why do people think they have to justify their choices by putting those who want to something different down?

I had two dcs by 23 and still enjoyed a night out when I could maybe once or twice a month. Now I'm 31 and I drink once or twice a year, it just doesn't appeal to me & id rather spend the money on other things

I hate when people put women down like this, it doesn’t matter if you want to stay in or go out. If you’re a mum, dad, or not. If you’re old, young, or somewhere in between. Why do people think they have to justify their choices by putting those who want to something different down?

This.

My absolute favourite thing is getting all dressed up and going out drinking, dancing and singing with DH. I'm 41 and DH goes 52 in couple of weeks.

If you don't enjoy it, fine. But no need to call those they do embarrassing or sad.

Yes! Im 30. Just 5 short years ago I loved a night out, was in fact, constantly out. And if I wasn't out, I wanted to be out.

Around 28/29 I just stopped enjoying it as much. I'd much rather be in the house in comfy clothes having a glass of wine. When I do go out now for a special occasion, I don't enjoy it half as much as what I used to. Not sure what changed, but something did.

I'm late 40's and go out more than ever.

This month I've been out locally twice a week, met friends in town for cocktails and dinner, had a weekend away with my sister and will be out in town (day) drinking tomorrow.

I love getting dressed up (casual or smart) and going out - WFH has made me want to get out there and chat to people!

You might get skewed results on a bank holiday evening!

I have had phases of enjoying it and then not enjoying it. Now 35 with 2 kids so I like having friends over for dinner or a couple of drinks out only. However I got together with my best friend group recently and we had a mad house party (all 30s and 40s) and that felt good!! We all needed it after covid put a stop to that for a few years.

The issue is you might get your vibe back … then drunkenly conceive another child. With a massive age gap.

Not that I did this or anything.

I would say post Covid. I would much rather go out for a boozy lunch/afternoon when I can comfortably get public transport or a lift home around 10ish. Long gone are the days of shivering in a taxi queue past midnight. Going out at night requires so much more effort and possibly also overnight childcare. Also, kids rarely respect a hangover or the need for a longer lie so I gain nothing at all by stumbling home in the small hours!

Yep as soon as I had kids I preferred a quiet family life.

I didn’t mention anything about boozing. I was thinking of hanging out with friends, having fun. Alcohol doesn’t have to be part of it. 🙄

When I moved countries. The cultural differences of going out were too different to what I was used to and found nothing really close by where I found it worth it so 26.

30s sometime?

For me it was later, when I met DH at 36.

The 3 single years before that were a blur of being out 2 or 3 times a week with single friends, but now my absolute favourite thing is a bottle of wine and a good TV show or film with him.

Luckily all those single friends have also settled down and we all get on with each others partners, so our social life still exists but is most often dinner, bbqs, cinema, walks etc. Our days of clubbing are long gone.

Loosing the desire for wild nights out is fine, but it's important to maintain social connections in another form.

It depends what you mean by "night out". If your definition is spending ages getting dressed up in high heels etc, going to a loud bar with some other dressed up people and drinking excessive amounts of wine, then on to a club playing earsplitting chart music full of dull men on the pull, then I was too old for that sort of malarkey at 16! 😆

As it is, at 49 I went to an amazing gig (BC Camplight) in a fantastic local venue on Friday, then a lovely friend's wedding yesterday, wearing comfy Converse to both. Have to admit that the wedding did feature excessive amounts of wine though.

Had a temporary end to nights out when the children were small but now they're pre adolescent I'm out all the time! Mostly social catch ups/book group events in the pub, but just one or two drinks. And then sometimes gigs etc. I can't imagine giving out nights out altogether.

I worked in an area where entertaining was part of the job so work paid for nice dinners and the drinks bill. So I was still having work related nights out plus the actual place was really sociable till I was 50 when I retired early. It reached a peak when I was about 40 and I remember having 5 black tie events in about 8 months. I personally have never drunk a lot but last time I went out out as they say was a weekend away with a Girlfriend at the grand old age of 53 for cocktails in Birmingham. Now at 56 I like a nice evening meal out and a quiet bar for drinks. We also have couple friends and we rotate round each other's houses and share a take away. I used to host at home a lot but do far less complex stuff now. I do more afternoon tea in the garden now.

Oh gosh, same!!

Probably around thirty. I did some serious partying through late teens and most of my twenties. It was fantastic at the time but I’ve had more than enough now.

I suppose it depends what a night out entails and how often your doing it.

We've had a few nights in the town since kids, so I'm my mid to late 30s. But no one is getting so hammered they're blacking out, pulling, taking drugs etc. They also usually involve dinner first so time for a catch up. And they happen very few and far 8nvetween if we're talking out til early hours.

But yanbu to not enjoy what you don't enjoy

I'm 30 this year. Had my second kid and going on a night out has just lost its lustre. I don't seem to be able to get drunk and stay drunk. Easily sober up. Get irritated by people. And easily burned out socially. I did start drinking at 15 though so maybe I've just done it enough 🤷‍♀️. These days I'd rather just hang out somewhere with the kids.

When I had my kids in my early 30s most of my friends were still going out and having fun and I felt really jealous. Now I'm late 30s and I really couldn't give a shiny shit about going out. I went out recently for one of their 40th birthday party and it was awful. It was a dark club, really expensive drinks, loud crap music and none of us could talk. It's just not how I want to spend my time at all.

(20 year old me would be horrified about how boring I've become)