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Original poster

Should you have to ask for money owed?

61 replies

Lazym · 27/05/2023 17:40

Hi, me and a "friend" are going to a wedding reception early July and I suggested booking a hotel room to not feel rushed and maybe have a drink. I messaged her and she agreed, so booked and paid which she is aware of but she has yet to pay her half. I booked it on 16th may and I even went to her house on Tues, where she asked how much it was (which I'd already informed her of) but didn't offer me any payment. I'm getting worried that she's not going to pay me. I'm already having doubts about our "friendship" anyway and this is just adding to it. Is it a bit soon to think I'm being unreasonable? She is aware that I'm not exactly rolling in it. I just think if it was me I would've paid her by now or at least give her an inkling of when. I don't feel you should have to ask when you're owed money.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 27/05/2023 17:41

Is she aware that you paid for the room upfront? Sometimes you pay upon arrival.

LT2 · 27/05/2023 17:41

I would have paid you immediately after

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 27/05/2023 17:42

Just send her a quick message, asking if she needs your account number for the transfer. But yes some people just take the piss.

PuffinsRocks · 27/05/2023 17:44

Were you clear that you actually wanted to split the cost with her or does she think since it was your idea that you were just being generous? Have you outright said to her something like "so your half is £X please can you transfer it to XXX account" or are you dropping hints and hoping?

CC4712 · 27/05/2023 17:45

I agree- I'd text her , let her know you've already paid, her share is £xx and here are my bank details.

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 17:46

19lottie82 · 27/05/2023 17:41

Is she aware that you paid for the room upfront? Sometimes you pay upon arrival.

I am thinking that might be the case to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I've been feeling mugged off by her lately anyway so this is just adding to it and she hasn't asked about payment either way.

OP posts:
xsquared · 27/05/2023 17:46

Send her a quick reminder with your bank details.

I'm not sure why you think you shouldn't have to ask for her half, unless she has form for expecting others to be too embarrassed to ask.

Dacadactyl · 27/05/2023 17:48

In all my friendship groups people pay up the minute you say you've booked it.

Can't imagine why she wouldn't have paid you yet. If she was struggling, she should've said "I don't get paid til the 30th so can you hold off booking til then, or wait til then for me to send the money please?"

If I were you, id text her and say "hi, just a reminder that you owe me xx for the hotel at the wedding. Can you send it over ASAP please. Thanks"

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 17:50

PuffinsRocks · 27/05/2023 17:44

Were you clear that you actually wanted to split the cost with her or does she think since it was your idea that you were just being generous? Have you outright said to her something like "so your half is £X please can you transfer it to XXX account" or are you dropping hints and hoping?

She knows I'm not rolling in money so I wouldn't have thought she thinks I'm being generous. Maybe I should've made it clearer🤷🏼

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 17:53

Dacadactyl · 27/05/2023 17:48

In all my friendship groups people pay up the minute you say you've booked it.

Can't imagine why she wouldn't have paid you yet. If she was struggling, she should've said "I don't get paid til the 30th so can you hold off booking til then, or wait til then for me to send the money please?"

If I were you, id text her and say "hi, just a reminder that you owe me xx for the hotel at the wedding. Can you send it over ASAP please. Thanks"

Exactly, if it was the other way round I would've paid her straight away or at least given her a rough date but she's not asked/said anything except how much was it?

OP posts:
MRex · 27/05/2023 17:53

She might not be aware you've paid if you didn't tell her, just let her know how much it is and ask her to pay.

Lkgcsr · 27/05/2023 17:54

I don’t think you should have to ask but I’m also someone who things easily slip out of mind, for that reason I now always transfer money immediately so I don’t forget but when I was younger and transferring money meant logging into internet banking through a browser etc I was guilty of needing to be reminded and feeling awful for it

CeeceeBloomingdale · 27/05/2023 17:55

Quick text is needed here

”Hi Susan, just got my credit card bill in. Please transfer the £xx for the hotel to account 12345678 Sort code 000000 as I’ll need to pay off the balance in the next couple of days. Thanks”

job done

drpet49 · 27/05/2023 17:56

Dacadactyl · 27/05/2023 17:48

In all my friendship groups people pay up the minute you say you've booked it.

Can't imagine why she wouldn't have paid you yet. If she was struggling, she should've said "I don't get paid til the 30th so can you hold off booking til then, or wait til then for me to send the money please?"

If I were you, id text her and say "hi, just a reminder that you owe me xx for the hotel at the wedding. Can you send it over ASAP please. Thanks"

This!

Solmum1964 · 27/05/2023 17:57

I had to ask a friend for payment for something recently. I hated having to do it but we were planning a trip and didn't want to book that without being paid for the other thing. It was fine. It had just slipped her mind.

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 17:59

Lkgcsr · 27/05/2023 17:54

I don’t think you should have to ask but I’m also someone who things easily slip out of mind, for that reason I now always transfer money immediately so I don’t forget but when I was younger and transferring money meant logging into internet banking through a browser etc I was guilty of needing to be reminded and feeling awful for it

I know people forget sometimes but she obviously hadn't forgotten on Tuesday as she asked how much it was then but offered no payment or any other comment like "Do you want me to go halves?" or "can I pay you when I get paid?", nothing.

OP posts:
BillyNoM8s · 27/05/2023 18:03

Just ask.

Hi X, I need to pay off my credit card so can you send me your half of the room cost? It's £££.
Thanks

openstop · 27/05/2023 18:05

You're not giving her a chance. Let her know you've had to pay up front, send her your bank details and ask for your half. It's clear you don't like her but don't set her up.

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 18:06

Thank you all for your comments, I know what I need to do, I just feel uncomfortable having to ask, don't know why!

OP posts:
openstop · 27/05/2023 18:07

Lazym · 27/05/2023 18:06

Thank you all for your comments, I know what I need to do, I just feel uncomfortable having to ask, don't know why!

That's a you problem not a her problem

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 27/05/2023 18:07

I know people forget sometimes but she obviously hadn't forgotten on Tuesday as she asked how much it was then but offered no payment or any other comment like "Do you want me to go halves?" or "can I pay you when I get paid?", nothing.

But equally you didn't tell her what her share would be or when she'd need to pay you by.

Lots of hotels are pay on arrival or 48h before the booking takes place - seeing as you haven't clarified anything I think it's a bit soon to call her cheeky.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 27/05/2023 18:08

Between me and my friends, the booker specifies what happens re payment. So many now are pay on the day, or 48 hrs before. Its also pretty normal for one of us to put in on a credit card for extra insurance so will say eg " I've put it on my cc, please pay by 16th"
I think you need to be explicit. It's nearly the end of the month, don't want to miss that payday

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 18:13

openstop · 27/05/2023 18:05

You're not giving her a chance. Let her know you've had to pay up front, send her your bank details and ask for your half. It's clear you don't like her but don't set her up.

I think you're being very rude and judgemental. I'm simply asking advice about somebody who has form for being a taker from me! Don't assume I don't like her, I don't like how I've been treated by her lately, that is all.

OP posts:
Lizzt2007 · 27/05/2023 18:17

She may be waiting for payday if she gets paid Tuesday. If it was an expense she hadn't expected, bearing in mind it was only just over a week ago, she may not have the money available till she gets paid.

Hearti · 27/05/2023 18:40

Hi x, hotel all paid for. could you pop £754 into my account this weekend and we will be square. Can’t wait