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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should you have to ask for money owed?

61 replies

Lazym · 27/05/2023 17:40

Hi, me and a "friend" are going to a wedding reception early July and I suggested booking a hotel room to not feel rushed and maybe have a drink. I messaged her and she agreed, so booked and paid which she is aware of but she has yet to pay her half. I booked it on 16th may and I even went to her house on Tues, where she asked how much it was (which I'd already informed her of) but didn't offer me any payment. I'm getting worried that she's not going to pay me. I'm already having doubts about our "friendship" anyway and this is just adding to it. Is it a bit soon to think I'm being unreasonable? She is aware that I'm not exactly rolling in it. I just think if it was me I would've paid her by now or at least give her an inkling of when. I don't feel you should have to ask when you're owed money.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 27/05/2023 20:59

CC4712 · 27/05/2023 17:45

I agree- I'd text her , let her know you've already paid, her share is £xx and here are my bank details.

This. Your friend probably thinks you pay on arrival.

Therealjudgejudy · 27/05/2023 21:05

If she doesn't pay, she doesn't stay.

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 22:02

She said she will pay, miscommunication and past actions I suppose! Thank you for your comments, don't think I'll be making another thread though, might keep things to myself in future.

OP posts:
xsquared · 27/05/2023 22:13

Glad to hear of a positive outcome op.

Don't let it stop you from posting on mn though. Most of us just wanted to reassure you that reminding someone to pay their share is totally normal, and doesn't have to be awkward.

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 22:17

xsquared · 27/05/2023 22:13

Glad to hear of a positive outcome op.

Don't let it stop you from posting on mn though. Most of us just wanted to reassure you that reminding someone to pay their share is totally normal, and doesn't have to be awkward.

Thank you for your understanding 😊

OP posts:
MRex · 27/05/2023 22:29

Lazym · 27/05/2023 22:02

She said she will pay, miscommunication and past actions I suppose! Thank you for your comments, don't think I'll be making another thread though, might keep things to myself in future.

Is it possible that other friendship issues relate to miscommunication? Perhaps you both have a very different communication style from each other, so issues are being caused without intent to do so.

Original poster
Lazym · 27/05/2023 22:42

MRex · 27/05/2023 22:29

Is it possible that other friendship issues relate to miscommunication? Perhaps you both have a very different communication style from each other, so issues are being caused without intent to do so.

Show quote history

Think the miscommunication has happened over the payment issue but my annoyance stems from a few events that have happened in recent weeks which have clouded my judgement about this person. She's not a bad person and neither am I but I can't really comment anymore as my brain is frazzled and can't deal with anymore crappy comments. (Not meaning yours, btw)

OP posts:
Nodinnernogift · 28/05/2023 09:26

It's good you've messaged her and she's agreed to pay.

It is very possible she didn't think you would have already paid.

However if you have to 'nudge' her again I would be thinking about cooling the friendship.

Shivvy120 · 30/05/2023 10:33

Definitely send her a text with bank details. If you want you could add in something to suggest a sense of urgency like I actually have a bill coming up and I need the money in my account. I would pay a friend back right away or at least the next day, she is being very selfish as who knows what you might need the money for.

Original poster
Lazym · 30/05/2023 16:41

Shivvy120 · 30/05/2023 10:33

Definitely send her a text with bank details. If you want you could add in something to suggest a sense of urgency like I actually have a bill coming up and I need the money in my account. I would pay a friend back right away or at least the next day, she is being very selfish as who knows what you might need the money for.

Thank you for your reply, I messaged her on sat to say could she transfer the money as I'm short until payday and she did. So it's sorted, but I'll definitely won't be repeating it or make it 100% clear it's paid and I need the money back.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lazym · 30/05/2023 16:43

Nodinnernogift · 28/05/2023 09:26

It's good you've messaged her and she's agreed to pay.

It is very possible she didn't think you would have already paid.

However if you have to 'nudge' her again I would be thinking about cooling the friendship.

Thank you, just one thing less to stress about.

OP posts:
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