To think this wasn't an offensive thing to say?

[nostalgiahurts]

Got a first date tomorrow. We were chatting and I asked him if he was nervous. Maybe an odd question in itself but was just wondering. He replied - not at all lol you?xx

I replied - nah xx

And he just immediately responded - okay

Very abrupt, no kisses. He's never not sent them which makes me think he's annoyed...but for what? Should I have said I was nervous?

Or was he probably more like, what an odd question to ask

🙄

So frickin’ odd

you that is. For asking him if he’s nervous

I would t be surprised if he bails op

God knows. Ask him? Say did I say something to upset you?

Xxx mwah mwah Xxx

Kisses? On every message to someone you've never met?

I know I'm odd. To be honest, I am extremely nervous so I guess I was hoping he was too to calm my nerves ever so slightly. But when he said not at all I didn't want to then say that I was as he seems unbothered.

I have met him, I know him.

Makes it even more frickin’ off then for you to ask if he’s nervous

OP, I wouldn’t buy a new outfit for the date. Put it like that

Bit of an odd question but never mind. I really would just move on rather than asking whether a lack of kisses on a one word message means anything, because otherwise you'll sound nuts. Don't double down on the oddness.

why are you nervous if you know him?

Well then not a great start to say “nah” when he asked if you’re actually shitting bricks

So you asked hoping for a specific answer. When it wasn’t given, you lied. Ok then

You've set an expectation of kisses on every single message (personally I find this a bit pukey but that's just me) and then you're having a meltdown because one single message he doesn't send them? You sound very high maintenance!

A meltdown? Define a meltdown.

Why did you say you weren't nervous if you are? If you are asking about it, it kind of implies you are! Your 'nah' comment was a bit off I think. I wouldn't sweat over it, just meet up and all will b forgotton!

I don’t think it’s an odd question to ask, but perhaps he’s taken your ‘nah’ to mean you aren’t nervous because you don’t see the date as a big thing.

Just sounds like miscommunication, and I bet he is as nervous as you.

I think by saying nah, you’ve made it sound like you’re not bothered by the date.

I would reply saying you’re looking forward to it

Bless you.

He is nervous. That's what his reply meant.

Then when you said nah he felt foolish and embarrassed.

Text him now and say....I fibbed. I am a bit nervous actually (insert an emoji)

He will relax then and all will be ok x

I have to agree. The word itself comes across as quite dismissive and I think the one word, negative text has probably got his back up. You don’t seem to be clear with your communication, given it was a complete lie too. Perhaps something to work on.

Why do you think his reply meant he wasn't

Agree completely with this.

His reply meant he WAS nervous.

You can tell this because he used exaggeration "no not at all" followed by the word "lol" which people use to indicate they are making a joke.

He was trying to communicate "yes I am nervous but I'm not admitting it ....please laugh and admit you're nervous"

If you had used humour to reply like "me? Never been less nervous. Totally fine. Utterly. Nerves? What are they?"

He would have felt you were both connected

But when you said "nah" he felt embarrassed

Oh

Oh wow what an odd thread!

I took it as, not at all (lol as in why would I be).