To not call social services?

[pollpp]

I'm sat in my bedroom with the window open and heard the child next door (aged 3) giggling, followed by her mum with a raised voice/through gritted teeth say "get in, get in now".

There was some more giggling as I think she was running away from her and I then heard the sound of a smack and the child said "ouch" and started crying. They then went in.

Friend thinks I should report. I've not had any concerns prior to this.

No I wouldn't report this.

I would absolutely mind your own business. Kids can test patience and who knows what the 3 year old has been up too.

Are you being serious ?

I wouldn’t report this, unless there had been concerns previously!

The thing is a smack sound could actually be anything! Including the child running into something or hitting themselves on something!

I wouldn’t report this.

No! Do not call them. If was regularly happening then yes but other wise no

I wouldn’t report that.

She could have tripped over the floor and said ouch. What is there to report exactly?

No 🙄

I’m not sure… from a safeguarding point of view it could be part of a wider picture and therefore help to get the Mum support. If it’s nothing and there’s not any history of abuse then it will be just logged

No

No I would need multiple concerns/ occasions and stronger proof

Depends on where you are. Smacking children is banned in Ireland so it is an illegal activity. I personally see no reason to smack a child no matter what the occasion but that is just me.

I wouldn't report this one incident but I would be more vigilant in the future.

Not sure why some posters feel the need to eye roll though. Of course it's concerning hearing a child being (presumably) hit then crying.

You didn't see anything. It could have been the case that child was messing around, doing something dangerous and mom called out to her, she carried on giggling and doing it and got hurt (the slap sound could have been her running into a wall or slide or something) making her cry.

Make a note of the incident, including times and what you heard, but don't report it yet. Just be vigilant in case you notice other incidents, recording them all. Then you have a record of the previous incidents to use in a report.

No. Mind your OWN business.

@Daisybuttercup12345
When should someone not mind their own business? What is your baseline for getting involved if you think a child may be at risk ?

FFS no. Imagine if someone reported you every time your parenting fell short of perfect?

Not from hearing a series of noises that could be anything 🙄

It is illegal to physically assault your child in Scotland and Wales. Anyone in these countries who sees or suspects child assault have a duty to report a crime or possible crime.

I’m very surprised that so many people think this is ok. There are much better ways to bring up a child.

No don’t report it unless you hear it often, if the child is well looked after & you don’t have any concerns. Also tell your friend to get a bloody life. It’s people like her that tear good families apart. SS should be focusing on the real neglected children.

Unicef reports that countries where all physical punishment of children include:
Albania, Andorra, Argentina, Aruba, Austria, Benin, Bolivia, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cape Verde, Congo, Costa Rica, Croatia, Curaçao, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia, Faroe Islands, Finland, Germany, Greece, Greenland, Honduras, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Kenya, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Mongolia, Montenegro, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Norway, Paraguay, Peru, Pitcairn Islands, Poland, and Portugal.
The other countries and territories that have bans are: Moldova, Romania, San Marino, Slovenia, South Sudan, Spain, St. Maarten, Svalbard and Jan Mayen, Sweden, Macedonia, Togo, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, Uruguay, and Venezuela.

No, of course you don’t report. Does a child who’s giggling and being a bit cheeky sound like a child who’s terrified of her parents? You’ve no idea what’s gone on. Mind your own.

Usually multiple concerns, for example, child is often not in clean clothes, has nits not taken care of, their clothes are inappropriate (eg. No coat on a cold day), child is not developing as expected (lack of speech) and seems withdrawn. Those kinds of things as one off situations or alone often don’t mean much, together they mean more. Equally, the sudden disappearance of a child when you can still hear them in the house and see the family about regularly, especially if it coincides with other worrying things (mum is suddenly not there often but partner is, new partner turns up, loud arguments, other children are more withdrawn or overwhelmed).

Equally, one off situations where for a long period there is shouting and banging (and potentially but not always child crying). Parents going out and leaving a young child home alone for long periods (eg. all evening). Unusually sexualised behaviour with knowledge that seems beyond their years or the child saying something sexual has happened.

Theres obviously a huge list of reasons, but those would be main ones. Usually people know there’s something wrong, they have a feeling that there’s something off that worries them and nags at them. It’s an ongoing worry about a number of things or a sudden very strong fear about a child’s safety due to a serious situation.

It sounds like this mum was tired and fed up with her toddler not listening. She lost her temper. Smacking a child isn’t ok and in lots of places it’s illegal, but they didn’t see this happen. If it becomes regular and child’s behaviour changes, that’s different, but the OP said it was a one off situation with no other concerns. SS are dealing with children who eat their own nappies because they are so hungry, children who’ve barely been held - just strapped into a car seat or left in a cot, children who’ve witnessed terrible domestic violence or had to parent their own siblings because their parents simply aren’t in a fit state to do it.

I don’t agree we should all look away, we should look for signs in children because they do get missed, but we need to know what is truly concerning and what isn’t. What a child looks like from a majority stable home and what a child looks like who’s not safe at home. There can absolutely be one off situations that warrant a call, but I don’t see this as one of them.