Is this incredibly racist or am I being sensitive

[Restaurantlover]

Have had to nc as incredibly outing.

I enquired about a blossom tree installation in my restaurant, someone got back to me with a quote and I said great what’s his timescales. He let me know a date and I told him it would be suitable but nothing yet agreed.
Next thing I know he says he requires a 50% deposit because he’s ordered the blossom for the tree.
I never asked him to order the blossom, never agreed that the work would actually be done and certainly didn’t agree to give him 50% upfront.

I’ve had to block him as he is continuously ringing and messaging me and is just being plain nasty, to both my husband and I.

I think he’s gone a step too far with this Facebook post though, the reference to scrubbing korma pans and polishing shoes just gets to me, I feel he’s being racist, we have an Indian restaurant but I don’t actually go/work there so he’s obviously made that up to be spiteful.

Hes clearly racist and obnoxious to boot.

I do think I would report it to the Police even if they wont do anything but he is currently harassing you, and I would get this on record with the Police.

Normally I'm really sensitive to racism, having experienced it for decades. I've been spat on, harassed, subject to racist violent attack and had to move house due to racism. I've campaigned against it, marched against it and debated for many a long hour. I've seen thousands of subtle and not subtle instances of the bloody crap.

But when someone says they have a photo of the owner of an Indian restaurant cleaning pans after cooking korma, I'm not immediately convinced.

Ah, the 'ideal immigrant' stereotype... this thread has it all.

Ok actual payment of the deposit is the point where the order kicks in surely

If it didn’t happen I’m not sure the order is there

Brown people are not known for polishing white people's shoes. Also, in recent times brown people are leading many global conglomerates, so if someone sees a brown person polishing shoes, most likely they are dreaming.

I know. But there is a racist stereotype around shoe shining. I think what this person's done is to take various racist stereotypes about different ethnicities and just kind of scattergun them. As I said, it's dog whistling. It's about making it clear that the OP and her husband are other than his usual audience. So some of it (korma pans) is a bit more specific and some of it's just 'pick a racist trope, any one will do'.

Also, there is nothing wrong with the person who does a so-called menial job.

I quite agree. But jobs such as shoe shining are portrayed as 'menial' and seen in a poor light, because they're either done by non-whites or very poor white people. So the people are denigrated because of the jobs they do and the jobs are denigrated because of the people doing them. It's wrong. But I was writing against the use of these stereotypes rather than trying to feed into them. Sorry I didn't make that clearer.

Have you seen your latest Google review OP, from Daniel Carter?

But it wasn't expected. OP wasn't told about the deposit. The point of a deposit is that you obtain it before you start anything. You can't start and then complain that someone hasn't paid.

Whatever the dispute with regards a deposit, what he posted was unprofessional and fairly obviously racist. If he'd actually wanted to resolve things like a grown-up, he probably shouldn't have opted for racist rants on social media.

Ignore him, block him and report any harassment to the police.

The phone calls are harassment and with the racists element I think the police would be interested. Call them.

You admitted ignoring phone calls about it. Did you check his website? You could have visited the showroom and paid?

She didn't pay,

He asked for 50%, op wasn't happy with that as 50% is £4k. His only business page is on Facebook, she has no way of knowing if this guy is legit so wasn't happy paying £4k to a potential scammer, so she offered 20% and for the materials to be delivered to her restaurant as the tree was being made there, he refused this, so op refused to continue with the purchase, he then started harassing op and was racist.

It's not that hard to follow!

He let me know a date and I told him it would be suitable but nothing yet agreed.

Did you write

yes, this is suitable but I do not agree yet

Or

yes, this is suitable

?

You did make it sound as if definitely agreed if you chose the 2nd answer. It is perfectly alright and normal for him to be very upset (If this was indeed your reply...)

His messages are however racist. And that's definitely not okay.

I ignored his phone calls, not about the deposit, because they were constant, one after another, 15 odd at a time. He only started doing that after he demanded I pay 50% deposit. He flat out refused to accept 20%, even though he hadn’t told me he wanted a 50% deposit

Weirdly sexist too, the way it was you dealing with him but he just posted an (apparently made up) spiel about his dealings with your husband and relegated you to "the wife". He seems... odd. To be honest if he hadn't asked for a deposit and had done all the work (as agreed) and was wanting to be paid I would think you should pay. But the way this all turned really strange and aggressive BEFORE he officially started and before he actually seems to have done the work would make me want to walk away.

I often do quotes and ask for payment of materials upfront for this reason but then I wouldn’t actually buy anything until I’ve had payment. You are both unreasonable

I’d be reluctant to fork out 4K deposit to an unknown ‘tradesman’ with no record on Companies House who isn’t even VAT registered. If he doesn’t want to incur a ‘business loss’ he should probably bother to actually establish a proper business.

Op he is a nasty racist who’s clearly bitter about your success and seems to think you owe him a living. You don’t need to reply to the post or defend yourself. He’s doing a great job in fucking up his own pretend business with his horrible attitude.

How was op unreasonable?
Do all your quotes have to turn into business or are they no obligation quotes?

Yes exactly, I became weary of him once he turned nasty. I didn’t allude to that in my op because it isn’t my issue, unfortunately some people are nasty and I can deal with that.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this OP. Yes he's being racist and he sounds utterly horrendous.

I'm also sorry you've had to read a lot of posts from people denying this is racism. It is and quite honestly these posters need to wake up and realise how their denial is part of the problem.

I'd contact the police about the harassment you've been receiving.

Agree.

Regardless of the ins & outs on whether or not OP had 'a contract', if nothing else, this thread is a masterclass on the mental gymnastics some MN'ers absolutely strain themselves on to deny very obvious racist remarks. The All Lives Matter brigade might reveal themselves in subtle ways, but they're generally as thick as two short planks so it's as clear as day who they are.

I’ve just had a look and seen it.

I think people will be able to set it as someone just being malicious though.

Sounds more like total bollocks than racist to me

The OP says "he", so why are you so cautious not to misgender this nasty man?

Well if she actually was scrubbing korma pans (perfectly possible) why is it racist?

I'm an ethnic minority. Regardless of the financial miscommunication - and I genuinely do believe the OP is not misleading us, she's telling us the truth about how she didn't shaft the guy - I would be feel he was being racist if he mentioned those anecdotal details about my culture when relaying an issue with me.

It's just so blatantly obvious to me that it's meant to be pointed, it's meant to jab at them and their heritage. It just feels like a completely unnecessary element of him 'calling them out'.

He sounds like a dick a