To ask why so many child-free people are on Mumsnet?

[DarlingClementine85]

I already know this is going to be divisive and I'm hesitating before I even type this. I don't mean this in a snarky or judgemental way at all. It's just a straightforward question that I've been pondering. It seems there's a lot of posters on here who are child-free by choice (I'm not talking about people dealing with infertility who would dearly love to be parents). And I was wondering why, as this is predominantly a forum for getting or giving parental advice? For questions about trying to understand their friends with kids, I absolutely get it. But I see plenty of threads about various parenting issues and there's always people saying things like "I don't have kids, but..."

TIA for not taking offence!!

Actually, I think you’re the one with the pitchfork.

You think a child free person doesn’t see how hard parenting is? I see it and it makes me relieved that I am not a parent myself, but the freedom I have is very useful for friends and family members who do have children because I can offer them and their kids something that I hope is helpful to them precisely because I don’t have to deal with the very real pressure of being a mum on a day to day basis. I am able to give them my time and, on occasion have helped out financially. I think it is a win-win situation. In that way I have helped to raise children. I really do believe that children are the responsibility of all. My only sadness about not having children is the shit I have to put up with from people who seem to think I am less of a woman or who seem to think I should envy their life or be bawling my eyes out all the time because I am child free when actually it really is great to know kids but not have the day to day responsibility for them. Absolute fucking bliss.

and I come on mumsnet because it’s the best forum. Sometimes there is a lot of drama and interesting arguments. Never a dull moment.

MN wasn't around when my dc were small - I wish it had been! So I never went on it when it started as I assumed it was aimed at mums of small children.

Then about 9 years ago we decided to replace our kitchen and I Googled something about pros and cons of granite work surfaces and ended up on a MN thread about kitchens. I've been hooked ever since.

I read the Feminism boards and scroll through the Active threads when I'm bored. I'll click on any that interest me, but that's rarely ones to do with parenting.

So sorry to hear this. All good wishes to you.

Unhinged? To say that the child free are allowed to function? What is your problem?

We get this every other week or so it seems. I'm not sure why there is this push to be non-inclusive?

I believe non parents do share interests with the general population and might have the odd interesting comment to contribute, which doesn't rely on being a parent. eg. Silentpool, what's your favourite quick dinner? What is your favourite TV show? What do I do about my noisy neighbour? What pair of trainers should I buy etc etc.

There is a whole world outside parenting.

I don’t have kids.

its called mumnet but it has so many diverse topics that don’t involve kids.

It’s nice to have people talking everyday stuff that doesn’t go down weird rabbit holes like Reddit can

Oh, not again!

I don’t have children, I don’t bother reading the posts about pregnancy, raising children etc. There are plenty of other topics covered that interest me. Same as I don’t drink alcohol but I have been to many bars/pubs. There’s something for everyone!

You are on a hiding to nothing OP. There is no going back now.

Believe me when I tell you that some posters are hellbent on twisting words. It suits their need for amDRAM.

Do people really have to attack the OP? Strange OTT responses to their question.

MN started out as a forum for parents, but it’s much more than that now, years later.

I’m a parent, but I don’t come here for parenting chat or advice.

I come here because it’s predominantly a women’s site, which I really like.

Mumsnet is, now, an international discussion forum for women to virtually meet and chat about all sorts. All women welcome. I personally have far more issue with men who come here than non-parents.

Yep- ditto. My kids are teens now so those threads about babies/young kids hold no interest for me. Lots of other interesting topics to discuss

Erm you keep saying women OP, there are men here too.

I've been on MN for several years and have never once posted on a parenting related topic.

My bingo card is full to bursting!

Do you think that those with no children don’t ever come into contact with children? Where else should they go for advice on things when they are babysitting nieces and nephews? Where else should they go for advice on what to buy for Christmas, what food to make, ideas for says out, etc for their nieces and nephews?

Parts of it are about parenting, and some men post on here, but mostly it’s a diary of what it means to be a woman in the 21st century. We discuss our problems, ideas and views. We give and seek advice. We laugh, and sometimes cry. We range widely in our thinking, backgrounds, and approaches to life, and that makes the discussions rich and varied. I read posts ranging from higher education, feminism and books, right through to nice handbags and what lipstick to wear to a wedding - and all are interesting to me, and very little of it is about my kids. It’s likely called Mumsnet because it has its roots in being a space to give and receive parenting advice, but the name no longer accurately reflects what it is and does. Overall, it’s a force for good and has supported many women to set boundaries and leave relationships that make them unhappy, as well as get legal and employment advice.

@ShandaLear what a wonderful response. I think that's the definitive answer OP.

Yes. It might have been plausible after the first post to claim you were just curious, but the PA responses and that silly reply thanking another poster for pointing out all the parenting criticism from us childfree-by-choice weirdos gives the game away.

Where are those threads btw?

I am a Nanny, I found this site yonks ago when I moved to London and wanted to find activities for my charge.

I stay on it now because it’s fairly decent entertainment sometimes.

I occasionally give my opinion from a professionals corner even though I am child free by choice.. because I have over 20 years experience with tiny new born babies and children up to 10 years old.

but I rarely post those opinions as it’s a bit like offering your hand to a lion on here. As you’ve found out. But in peoples defensive this question has been asked a lot and usually not as politely as you asked it.

Just as goady and narrow minded as the OP.

"it's weird" -- can you truly not understand someone with a different experience, finding the forum via a news item, or other topic? The majority of trending threads are not even child related.

Thankfully your view is in the minority though, because most people aren't as small minded.

Should people who drive only be allowed to comment on parking threads?

Should those who are married only be allowed to comment on the MIL threads?

Should those who own houses only be allowed to comment on property threads?

In real life, OP, would you feel it was normal if you started talking to another woman about work, or your love-life, or why you watched on telly last night, and she said "I don't want to talk to you because you're a parent and I'm not"?

Visit a CFBC board. Then you’ll see why we’re here.

But I see plenty of threads about various parenting issues and there's always people saying things like "I don't have kids, but..."

Can you link to these threads, OP?

Because I've been here quite a while and I've never seen a poster deliberately criticise a parent only to preface it with 'I don't have kids.'.

As you've seen, most of the childfree and childless posters actually don't bother with the parenting threads.