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Original poster

First world problems - who should go on holiday?

81 replies

EmmetEmma · 21/05/2023 21:05

My husband and I live more as friends. We have three children. We often don’t have money to go on a big family holiday, but we came up with the idea that we could perhaps go away separately with the children.

My husband went away with my son in January for a long weekend.

I have just come into a bit of money and want to take the girls away - I could possibly take them out of school for a few nights and we were considering going to Egypt. My son thinks this isn’t fair as he didn’t get to miss school when he went to Morocco and he wants to come and to pay the cost of it from his savings - I think the girls think that’s unfair and potentially also don’t want to be over ruled on various things by their brother.

I can’t think how to make it fair - going to Egypt would cost the same per capita as my son and husband spent but I don’t want my son to feel left out or unwanted - but equally he has already had a trip.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 22/05/2023 10:32

It's harsh for dc to feel they are missing out on a holiday.

In future just save until all the dc can go - you clearly could afford one family holiday rather than two separate ones with all the heartache that involves.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 22/05/2023 11:12

Could you just go all as a family now to Egypt and then you and the girls do a weekend break elsewhere later in the year ?

redskylight · 22/05/2023 11:18

Going to see the football abroad is not the same as a longer holiday in Egypt.

I think the problem is that if you'd said to DS in January "would you rather go to the football or go to Egypt", he would have said "Egypt". But you took the choice away from him and have now decided he couldn't go on the holiday he would have preferred.

I'd go for a more equivalent trip with the girls and then go on a proper family holiday next year.

Stompythedinosaur · 22/05/2023 11:27

redskylight · 22/05/2023 11:18

Going to see the football abroad is not the same as a longer holiday in Egypt.

I think the problem is that if you'd said to DS in January "would you rather go to the football or go to Egypt", he would have said "Egypt". But you took the choice away from him and have now decided he couldn't go on the holiday he would have preferred.

I'd go for a more equivalent trip with the girls and then go on a proper family holiday next year.

This is very well put.

00100001 · 22/05/2023 11:32

ModestMoon · 21/05/2023 22:43

I find the idea of telling my own son that he can't come on holiday with me, even if he's paying for it himself, pretty terrible. Imagine your DS sat at home while you're having a great time in Egypt, knowing that you didn't want him there even though it wouldn't have coat you a penny.

Forget the money or the fairness: you are telling him loud and clear that you don't want to spend a holiday with him. You're suggesting that your girls don't want to spend a holiday with him either, because he overrules them. You are the parent. It is your job to make sure that a child is not overriding the other children. You don't just leave the more vocal child at home because you can't or won't step in.

If your girls complain, make it clear that DS is paying. If they still complain, tell them to buckle up their ideas. You are a family and if one of you wants to come away with the rest then he bloody well can, and if there's any more moaning then they can stay at home instead.

What if the girls had wanted to go to Morocco?

ModestMoon · 22/05/2023 11:51

@00100001 they didn't want to go, according to the OP. Would dad have said no if they offered to pay? Why?

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