Found secret instagram account

[wellwellwelll]

I've found that my DH had a secret Instagram account, purely for the purpose of looking at young women. He's not messaging them but he's active on the account. He only has one follower. AIBU to follow the account, so he knows I know, should I just ignore it or should I say something?

^this

It's not about the women putting it on there. Same as I don't blame prostitutes. I think the men who create the need for all this are the grim ones.
It's disgusting because they're much younger women. Because it shows what kind of man they are, dog on heat. Basic. Sleazy. Disrespectful.

Celebs usually have burned accounts. He obviously done it to not upset you but if he is only looking is it enough to break your marriage over? I would definitely talk to him about it though.

My phone and bloody auto correct…I meant burner accounts

@AnObserverInThisDarkWorld well snap I guess cos I did my masters focusing on 19th century novelty images, like this has anything to do with modern discussions about porn.

The destructive effect that porn is having on society is now very obvious. Again I don’t understand what you think modern hardcore porn looks like, but it is very far removed from ‘extending as far as full nudity.’ I never said anything about sex workers, the women involved are absolutely victims of a porn-soaked culture that treats women as objects that can be bought and sold for men’s sexual gratification.

This blasé attitude about everyone needing to safely explore their kinky sides is at best a naive attempt to remove any moral boundaries from sex (which I agree shouldn’t necessarily be there, but a lot of those ideas were also about protecting young women from predatory behaviour) and at worst a willing participation in the destruction of women’s hard-won progress in making sex a safe, equal and enjoyable experience for themselves.

It matters because it meant I looked at how attitudes and approaches to sexual material have changed. Rather graphic erotica aimed at women isn't new and has been around since the 80s. The House of O, for example, predates online porn but delves deeply into some of the more extreme acts of BDSM. But I am also well aware of what porn is available on the Internet

You calling sex workers "victims", BTW, shows that you are perpetuating harmful stereotypes. There are victims, yes, those who are trafficked and blackmailed. But many sex workers (sex workers can be male too, but hey don't let that get in the way of your crusade) do so because they enjoy sex, they enjoy showing off their bodies, they enjoy the fact they can make money from being comfortable enough to show off their bodies.

People absolutely need to be able to SAFELY explore their kinky sides and by encouraging SAFE explorations of kinks you inherently protect vulnerable people (again, young males are just as much victims but are much less empowered to speak out) because you make things like safe words, always check for consent, "Safe, Sane, Consenual" common knowledge and therefore make it harder for predators to use the excuse "Ah its just kinky, you can't say no because I'm the dominant" because people are clued in on the expectations and the rules around it.

The fact you only talk about women speaks volumes. Women are becoming more and more empowered to own their own sexuality and their own porn habits (Erotic novels are porn in their own right). I believe a decent proportion of those who consume gay porn, or things like Hentai are in fact female.

You want sex workers to be safe and protected? You don't make porn and sex work dirty and taboo. Because it drives it underground, away from regulations and discussions and common awareness over best practice.

Make up another account but make it obvious who you are (so that he knows) and follow his secret account. But start following a load of fit looking men before following him.

@AnObserverInThisDarkWorld But women who aren't trafficked but love using their body to make money are still victims, they are still damaged people, and become even more damaged by doing it and seeing the darker side of men, feeling like an object.
You are the one being harmful.
Prostitution shouldn't even be a thing, nevermind making it more open and accessible.

@AnObserverInThisDarkWorld Of course I only speak of women, we are the group who is most hurt and most affected in all discussions about porn and sex work.

Believing in the myth of the ‘happy sex worker’ is by far the more harmful stereotype. I’ve spoken to, and read a lot of work by ex-sex workers, all of whom speak of PTSD and often of extreme physical and mental injury. I suggest you do to, rather than just believing the lies that only fans culture perpetuates.

You think regulation makes anything safer? Look at the catastrophic mess that is Germany’s legal sex trade. One of the highest rates of human trafficking, cases of women being sent to brothels when they apply for job welfare. They also recently had to enact a ban on gang bangs featuring very heavily pregnant women in legal brothels, such was the damage it was causing the women. Does this sound like women ‘enjoying sex and showing off their bodies’? The naivety with which you speak is astonishing. I truly hope it serves you well in this world.

Don’t bother replying, I don’t care what you think.

I wonder if he would have the same reaction if he found you had a secret account full of pictures of mid twenties men and be happy to just drop it?

But you wouldn't have that, because women don't spend their time perving over young men. Society wouldn't make excuses for us to do it.

who is his one follower?

And not all men do this, mine doesn't

Perfectly said

I personally would pretends to be a young woman and catfish him for fun if he was being a perv. But then I am a bit sadistic!

I'd start following some male profiles, get your flirt on and enjoy!

I thought most of the young women on insta that have almost exclusively male followers are promoting their only fans accounts?

That wouldn't be cool for me.
I guess you have children the age of the women he follows?
That again wouldn't be cool with me.

I personally haven't heard of older women having secret insta accounts so they can perv on young men young enough to be their sons/DD's boyfriend.

I think it's ok to hold men up to the same standards that we hold women.