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Original poster

Ex wants to bring new girlfriend to our child’s 5th birthday party

88 replies

SingleMamaG4 · 20/05/2023 08:01

I left my ex in 2020 and since then he’s been engaged to a woman (wedding was meant to be next month) but she left him. He’s now got a new girlfriend. It’s early days, about a month. The previous lady met our then 2 year old son and they got along great. I trusted her completely. Fast forward and I have planned my sons first proper party. His school friends are coming and some friends and family. Every month I would plan a bit more, buy some decorations and book the entertainment/venue. EP has said he would like to bring his new girlfriend to meet our son/me for the first time. I said I would think about it. He said he’s going to bring her regardless. I feel upset. He initially wasn’t coming at all due to him hating my family- but I said to put his feelings aside and be there for his son. I’ve planned it all.

OP posts:
DifficultBloodyWoman · 12/11/2023 03:35

I’m in the minority because I think it is the perfect time to introduce his latest girlfriend du jour.

  1. the child will be too busy with friends, activities and presents to care or possibly even notice
  2. lots of friends and family around to judge your Ex’s stupidity
  3. strong chance someone will pull him to one side and tell him that it isn’t the time or the place and he is a fuckwit
AlmostAJillSandwich · 12/11/2023 03:38

How petty and childish of him to want to steal the attention from his own 5 year old son on his birthday. Selfish bastard.
Any chance you've got a couple of big burly male relatives can hang about the door and refuse this man entry?
No decent woman would rock up to her partner of a months childs 5th birthday party as her first meeting with the kid either.

MariaLuna · 12/11/2023 03:43

I wouldn't have invited your ex in the first place

I agree. He's an ex for a reason. No need for him to be there. He can do his own party for his child if he is in any way interested.

Disgusting he wants to bring his new squeeze to the party THAT YOU HAVE ORGANISED FOR YOUR SON!

WTF is wrong with these men?!

Stand your guard OP!

RantyAnty · 12/11/2023 05:06

He's a twat. He's lining up a new skivvy to do his share of parenting for him.

daisychain01 · 12/11/2023 05:12

Yet another parent who puts their own love-life before their child's wellbeing.

why can't your ex organise his own celebration for his child, why muddy the waters by getting involved in the event you're organising. And yet more random people being introduced to your child who could be here today and gone tomorrow.

daisychain01 · 12/11/2023 05:17

the child will be too busy with friends, activities and presents to care or possibly even notice

Thinking a child won't notice is the very thought process that screws children's lives up. They absolutely can and do, and any adult who underestimates what children do and don't realise, think about and care about, is not worthy of having children.

SingleMamaG · 12/11/2023 09:56

i invited him in the first place to act in unison for our son. Like we’re both there, showing him we love him and having fun and celebrating him. But unfortunately anything I suggest is met with aggression. Last night he FaceTimed to say goodnight and said he wants to bring his latest GF (not the one who was going to be at his party in June-that ended) to my house to meet our son next Sunday. My son said on the phone l: “I don’t want to meet new gf name” and his dad called him an antagonist. He’s 5 years old. I’m at a loss. I then texted ex and said if our child doesn’t want to meet the latest GF then he doesn’t have to.

RoseAndRose · 12/11/2023 10:02

It's too soon (but you can't actually stop him from making precipitate introductions) and it's definitely the wrong occasion.

But I don't know what you can do about it if he just turns up with her, unfortunately.

LylaLee · 12/11/2023 12:32

SingleMamaG · 12/11/2023 09:56

i invited him in the first place to act in unison for our son. Like we’re both there, showing him we love him and having fun and celebrating him. But unfortunately anything I suggest is met with aggression. Last night he FaceTimed to say goodnight and said he wants to bring his latest GF (not the one who was going to be at his party in June-that ended) to my house to meet our son next Sunday. My son said on the phone l: “I don’t want to meet new gf name” and his dad called him an antagonist. He’s 5 years old. I’m at a loss. I then texted ex and said if our child doesn’t want to meet the latest GF then he doesn’t have to.

Does he not understand the instability introducing multiple girlfriends causes? He sounds thick.

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 12/11/2023 13:15

Where is the party? If it is at your house say no and that if he brings her neither will be welcome. If its a hired venue it will be hard to stop him.

LylaLee · 12/11/2023 13:26

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 12/11/2023 13:15

Where is the party? If it is at your house say no and that if he brings her neither will be welcome. If its a hired venue it will be hard to stop him.

The party has already happened.

Draculina · 12/11/2023 13:29

SingleMamaG4 · 20/05/2023 08:01

I left my ex in 2020 and since then he’s been engaged to a woman (wedding was meant to be next month) but she left him. He’s now got a new girlfriend. It’s early days, about a month. The previous lady met our then 2 year old son and they got along great. I trusted her completely. Fast forward and I have planned my sons first proper party. His school friends are coming and some friends and family. Every month I would plan a bit more, buy some decorations and book the entertainment/venue. EP has said he would like to bring his new girlfriend to meet our son/me for the first time. I said I would think about it. He said he’s going to bring her regardless. I feel upset. He initially wasn’t coming at all due to him hating my family- but I said to put his feelings aside and be there for his son. I’ve planned it all.

You are the host of the party, YOU decide who is invited. If you don't want your ex's new girlfriend at your son's party (rightfully so, considering it's a very new relationship), then you must be very clear with ex: tell him HE is welcome, but you will not extend the invitation to his girlfriend this time around. If he brings her anyway, make it clear he will not be invited inside / will be asked to leave.

Doyoumind · 12/11/2023 13:46

I will never understand why people aren't invested enough to RTFT before throwing their irrelevant at this point opinion in.

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