To tell you the school does not decide when your child can walk home alone

[Itisuptoyou]

I keep seeing this on threads and I don’t want to derail what the thread is about.

But the school cannot decide this. You do as parent. It may be you are broadly in agreement with the school and I am but this is your choice and not the schools.

It irrationally annoys me when people claim ‘the schools don’t allow …’ Not up to the school!

Yes. See also being "allowed" to leave the maternity unit when you want/with the baby in a sling/with the baby in a pram cos you're getting the bus and don't own a car seat. They may suggest you drive, but they can't make you.

So it would be false imprisonment of the 3 year old or not?

No @Havinganap , they want to. Which is commendable, but they don’t ultimately have the right to make that decision.

So schools mostly seem to say that according to them, they will ‘allow’ children in y5 and 6 to walk home unsupervised by an adult. If someone with an autumn born Y4 wants them to walk home with their brother or sister and the school ‘refuses’, legally, they cannot actually do this. It really is that simple.

I don’t personally have any desire to override these things for the sake of it but the pedant in me is annoyed by ‘our school doesn’t allow’!

This is how I feel. DD was walking alone to and from school in years 5 and 6 . She had a very busy road that led up to her school in the city of London but she was more than capable of pressing a button and waiting for l’homme vert ( I had a very pretentious first DH 😀)

A week after her 18th birthday she went interrailing on her own , thanks to winning a free ticket that UK 18 year olds could then apply for. Hers was the last year thanks to Brexit.

She is currently travelling from Albania, through Macedonia and she is currently in Bulgaria before ending her trip in Istanbul.

Independence and self confidence is the best gift you can give children. Indeed, isn’t that the exact point of parenting? Fledgelings need to learn how to fly and children are exactly the same imo.

I meant to say she is 23 next month and lives for planning cheap and exciting trips . And I benefit too with additions to my International Tea Towel display. 😀

I think year 5 n 6 is acceptable. I don’t know I just think younger is too young 🤣🙈 my daughters in year 4 and she is yet to be allowed anywhere on her own.

@Nordicrain I’m really sorry but I don’t think you’re understanding.

In the (unlikely!) case of a three year old wanting to leave their childcare setting unaccompanied by an adult and the adult having expressly given their consent for the child to be able to do so, you wouldn’t get to three o clock and then have the child suddenly getting up and going, would you? It would be a conversation you’d pass on to the DSO who would involve third parties who would be highly unlikely to agree a three year old is OK to leave alone!

If you as a teacher have a the parents of an eight yo saying that they can leave unaccompanied and that’s passed onto the DSO and they deem SS intervention necessary and SS then do not get involved and you still refuse the child permission to leave - that is false imprisonment, or the other, more likely example of not involving SS but just ‘no you can’t go because rules.’

As it happens I agree @Troubledwaters34 but that’s my choice and your choice, no one else’s (except the other parent!)

I am understanding. But I think you are wrong, which is really clearly illustrated by using the example of a younger child.

Or now you are saying it's up to SS to decide? What's not what you said in your earlier posts.

In either case it's just not false imprisonment. Because the child is free to go - with an appropriate adult.

That thread was about 7 and 8 year olds though. It didn't mean ruin walking with older siblings.

Of course I can't speak for every school, but the ones I have dealt with would apply common sense if there was an older sibling collecting the child or if the child lived very close.

Yes, this one is really annoying too. When I was 37 weeks pregnant we went to buy our car seat and the man in the shop made a big deal about us not being ‘allowed’ to leave without a car seat - hmm right, so we’d have been still there now with a three year old would we?

So it would be false imprisonment of the 3 year old or not?

It’s a bit of a straw man in that developmentally a 3 year old doesn’t have the consequential thinking to safely get home, and refusal to collect would be viewed as neglect, the nursery would presumably contact social services who would either instruct the parent to collect the child or return the child home themselves while addressing the neglect.

If the parent then appeared to take the child and nursery refused to release them, they would be acting outside the law.

Surely you can see a difference in thinking a 3 year old can safely walk home and allowing a 7 year old to.

@Nordicrain no, it’s just that you don’t really seem to be understanding the difference between a decision that might not be one you would make personally but is not a safeguarding concern on its own, and blatant neglect.

Although this might be legally true, it's basically a game of chicken isn't it? Schools hold the power because they know parents won't risk distressing their child by refusing to collect them, or risk a safeguarding referral.

The uniform is unenforceable if primary.

People do not have to 'suck it up' when it comes to rules - people have to comply with the law.

When a child is persistently late, that gets dealt with as an educational issue and does eventually become a legal matter.

Yes I can. But the principle is the same/ Obviously the parent of the 3 yo would be an idiot - but some parents are. The school sets rules based on safegaurding. It doesn't really matter what the parent thinks. If they are too opposed they can pick another school with different rules or even home schools. It's ridiculous to start shouting "false imprisonment!" and the likes though.

I understand. But disagree with you and the points you are making. You know that not everyone who disagrees with you does so because they are an idiot right?

I remember contacting the school to say that my then yr 5 would be walking home (his choice & 5 min walk). Reception said they would have to check with the Head. I was a bit bemused.

The school sets rules based on safegaurding. It doesn't really matter what the parent thinks.

It does when the school goes against a reasonable decision by the parents. Thinking a 3 year old can walk home isn’t reasonable in that most reasonable people wouldn’t make such a decision, having an arbitrary age when children can safely walk home is unreasonable in that there are many different factors that contribute to “safely”, ultimately it’s the person with parental rights who makes that decision for their child.

They cannot refuse you have PR they do not.

It isn’t about whether we agree or not @Nordicrain

you may not agree with a 40 mph limit, age 16 as the age of consent, drinking alcohol or over 18, that’s fine, you can choose to drive a bit more slowly, abstain from sex until you want to, not drink. These are personal choices. But you don’t get to make them for others.

Good how dare the head intefere like that.

Only on MN have I seen this , my DCs schools wee only P1/3 had to be collected and could be by a sibling at the school.

and incidentally I most certainly don’t think you’re an idiot and I don’t think I have insinuated that at all. I do think we are discussing different things. You’re discussing what you believe to be right, I’m just saying what the law is.

Surely what they do is release and refer to SS if something is wrong?

The issue is - a bit like with COVID - a lot of 'guidance' and often extending far beyond the law.