To ask him to turn off the tracker?

Newlywedded · 2023-05-19T06:04:09+00:00

My husband and his friends are connected on the 360 app. This started when they went on holiday together a few years ago and needed to be able to find each other easily. But it’s stayed and they are all constantly looking at where each other is. I feel like they know our every move- which isn’t particularly exciting to be honest. aibu to ask my husband to turn the app off when we go on holiday together? I figure they do not need to know his every movement at any time not at least when we’re on holiday together just the two of us. Or am I being unreasonable to interfere with friendships?

SunnySaturdayMorning · 19/05/2023 07:04

YABU. This is between him and his friends, nothing to do with you.

DustyLee123 · 19/05/2023 07:05

Just forget about it, it’s not yours.

Whataretheodds · 19/05/2023 07:10

Have you told him it makes you uncomfortable?

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 07:10

Of course it is to do with op, her life is being observed by a group of people and she'd rather it wasn't.
The way you think about what you do is different when you know there are eyes on it. Even if it is just a thought at the back of your mind that where you are when out and about is going to be open for observation and maybe comment, it isn't reasonable to have to have that thought in your head. It's basic privacy.
He's not a child he shouldn't need to worry about peer pressure and should be able to drop out of the app without an issue.... If he can't that's an issue itself.

CheersForThatEh · 19/05/2023 07:20

I'd laugh it off as a silly thing sad blokes do. It's exactly the sort of thing my dad and his friends would do and me and the rest of the family would roll our eyes at how sad it is. Why is it bothering you? Are they turning up to places? Commenting online? What's the real issue?

Original poster

Newlywedded · 19/05/2023 07:22

I know they check it because we’ve been at my brothers house before in another town and he’s had a message telling him he’s really near a friend of a friends house and why is he there.

recently we went to another city for a party and he turned it off to save battery and so one of the friends messaged me to ask if we were on our way home yet.

so I would just like a couple weeks where no one knows what we’re up to - even though it’s not even going to be exciting. It’s just to know that we’re alone without his friends being any part of it.

OP posts:

Neverinamonthofsundays · 19/05/2023 07:26

I genuinely do not know why anyone uses them tracker things as grown adults. I would find it a huge invasion of privacy if my family/friends/partner knew where I was all the time and my life is not all that exciting. If I am going anywhere I tell DP where I am off to for info/safety etc but that is it. I would hate to go on holiday and for people to know all my movements. It just seems alien to me to do it.

Mummy08m · 19/05/2023 07:26

Yanbu OP, that's creepy and intrusive

PimpMyFridge · 19/05/2023 07:28

I am baffled how anyone could not understand why you don't want this.
Who needs that little thought at the back of your mind when we all need times where we are switched on to the awareness of others and times where we are free of it.

cmmumm · 19/05/2023 07:36

It wouldn't bother me personally. I have most of my family on Find My Friends and we find it really useful, especially if we're meeting up somewhere and want to see how far away the other person is. My partner and I share our locations with each other too - I like knowing where he is with the kids and it's a bit of security if one of us were to go missing or have an accident.

However, if it bothered him I would turn it off and I would expect him to do the same if i asked him to. That's part of being married or in a committed relationship in my eyes, having your spouses wants and needs as a priority.

WaltzingWaters · 19/05/2023 07:41

Yeah it’s weird and intrusive. Tell him to turn it off unless he’s on his own.

Original poster

Newlywedded · 19/05/2023 07:43

cmmumm · 19/05/2023 07:36

It wouldn't bother me personally. I have most of my family on Find My Friends and we find it really useful, especially if we're meeting up somewhere and want to see how far away the other person is. My partner and I share our locations with each other too - I like knowing where he is with the kids and it's a bit of security if one of us were to go missing or have an accident.

However, if it bothered him I would turn it off and I would expect him to do the same if i asked him to. That's part of being married or in a committed relationship in my eyes, having your spouses wants and needs as a priority.

I totally understand there can be all of those pros to if. Which is why I’m not asking him to delete it completely. But while we are on holiday together, his friends are not meeting up with him and need to know how far away he is and so it doesn’t need to be on during that time.
it would just be nice to have something private.

fwiw DH might be totally ok with turning it off , I havnt asked yet as wasn’t sure if it was a reasonable request.

OP posts:

cmmumm · 19/05/2023 07:46

It's definitely a reasonable request!

Whimsocal · 19/05/2023 07:47

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louderthan · 19/05/2023 07:47

Newlywedded · 19/05/2023 07:22

I know they check it because we’ve been at my brothers house before in another town and he’s had a message telling him he’s really near a friend of a friends house and why is he there.

recently we went to another city for a party and he turned it off to save battery and so one of the friends messaged me to ask if we were on our way home yet.

so I would just like a couple weeks where no one knows what we’re up to - even though it’s not even going to be exciting. It’s just to know that we’re alone without his friends being any part of it.

God they sound like overprotective parents! Very odd. You would not be unreasonable to ask him to turn it off.

crumpet · 19/05/2023 07:48

Is it really the holiday that’s the issue? Surely that’s know where you were on holiday anyway as he’d have mentioned it to his friends

AgnesX · 19/05/2023 07:54

Newlywedded · 19/05/2023 07:22

I know they check it because we’ve been at my brothers house before in another town and he’s had a message telling him he’s really near a friend of a friends house and why is he there.

recently we went to another city for a party and he turned it off to save battery and so one of the friends messaged me to ask if we were on our way home yet.

so I would just like a couple weeks where no one knows what we’re up to - even though it’s not even going to be exciting. It’s just to know that we’re alone without his friends being any part of it.

Wow, I'd be looking askance at that😳 Have they nothing better to do with their time?

Whimsocal · 19/05/2023 07:56

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Original poster

Newlywedded · 19/05/2023 07:59

@Whimsocal DH told me

OP posts:

Whimsocal · 19/05/2023 08:01

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FastAndLast · 19/05/2023 08:02

They sound like a bunch of weirdos tbh.

handydandynotebook · 19/05/2023 08:04

He needs to get in the habit of switching it off

handydandynotebook · 19/05/2023 08:04

If you get burgled while you're on holiday your insurance company won't be impressed

Whimsocal · 19/05/2023 08:13

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Whimsocal · 19/05/2023 08:14

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