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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask him to turn off the tracker?

69 replies

Newlywedded · 19/05/2023 07:04

My husband and his friends are connected on the 360 app. This started when they went on holiday together a few years ago and needed to be able to find each other easily. But it’s stayed and they are all constantly looking at where each other is. I feel like they know our every move- which isn’t particularly exciting to be honest.
aibu to ask my husband to turn the app off when we go on holiday together? I figure they do not need to know his every movement at any time not at least when we’re on holiday together just the two of us. Or am I being unreasonable to interfere with friendships?

OP posts:
sammylady37 · 19/05/2023 15:20

There’s no way I would tolerate this

Luckydip1 · 19/05/2023 16:46

OP, no one is tracking you, they probably couldn't care less where you are, leave your poor DH and the lads alone.

namechange4858 · 19/05/2023 20:26

YANBU I wouldn't like it either

Ndhdiwntbsivnwg · 20/05/2023 05:24

Worst case scenario, what if something happens to you?
Sharing location is basically a measure for safety almost…

AnarchoTyranny · 20/05/2023 05:27

It's quite funny I suppose, but I wouldn't like it if I was also being tracked as a result of dp being tracked.

Pottedpalm · 20/05/2023 05:34

CuriouslyDifferent · 19/05/2023 08:21

We have f&f switched on.

We all have a safe word - “Tuesday?”

it means - i need help urgently.

with that and f&f, we can usually guarantee someone will get to the other person in minutes. We’ve used with the kids about a dozen times - times where someone creepy has been harassing them, or a boyfriend has overstepped a boundary.

do i care that anyone can see if I’m in this town, that town, this spot, that spot. No.

Im happy to lose my location privacy, for the safety of others. I just find it funny when someone asks ‘why were you in….’ They usually get “stalking me again?” Rather than an answer.

Who is ‘we’ in tjis context? Your family? Or your husband’s mates?

Pottedpalm · 20/05/2023 05:36

Luckydip1 · 19/05/2023 16:46

OP, no one is tracking you, they probably couldn't care less where you are, leave your poor DH and the lads alone.

The ‘lads’. Says it all.

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/05/2023 05:36

Presumably you and dh aren't together every minute of the day. So when you go to work, shopping, on a train etc they won't know where you are only your dh.
It's a bit daft but I wouldn't get worked up about it.
I don't think you like his friends very much, do you?

VisionsOfSplendour · 20/05/2023 05:48

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/05/2023 05:36

Presumably you and dh aren't together every minute of the day. So when you go to work, shopping, on a train etc they won't know where you are only your dh.
It's a bit daft but I wouldn't get worked up about it.
I don't think you like his friends very much, do you?

They are a couple going on holiday together, it's not about the wierdo friends tracking the partner on his day to day

That sort of bizarre friendship group would be giving me the ick, that's not mature adult behaviour

peachespeachespeaches · 20/05/2023 06:08

It's funny isn't it. So many threads about couples having trackers filled with people saying how creepy and controlling it is, how people wouldn't stand for it in their relationship, they couldn't cope with someone knowing where they are all the time.

Now it's a group of friends and the partner would quite like them to not all know exactly where they are for a couple of weeks and it's "it's between him and his friends/YABU it's surely safety measure/I can't see why this is an issue/keep out of it".

Original poster
Newlywedded · 20/05/2023 06:22

I only want him to turn it off while we’re on holiday together so we have some privacy without his friends knowing what time we get back to the apartment every day and where we go for dinner etc. its not needed. In day to day life when they track DH it’s not always me too as we’re not joined at the hip. I just wanted some privacy on holiday. I don’t have social media so the points about selfies on holiday being just as bad are not relevant in this situation.

I don’t think whether I like his friends or not is relevant… but I do. We all spend time together frequently as a big group. And it’s not just “lads” in this group of trackers, it’s a mixed gender friendship group.

OP posts:
Yerroblemom1923 · 20/05/2023 08:11

All sounds v odd. If you don't like it tell hubby to remove himself from group. Or maybe do your own thing on holiday so you're not "joined at the hip" .
Do you have a "joint" Fbk page too?
I only really see this being a problem if you're in a dv type relationship....

CuriouslyDifferent · 20/05/2023 08:12

Pottedpalm · 20/05/2023 05:34

Who is ‘we’ in tjis context? Your family? Or your husband’s mates?

Show quote history

Mixture of family and friends.

Lcb123 · 20/05/2023 08:15

YANBU. I would absolutely hate that it’s a massive invasion of privacy. I hate all this tracking / sharing location. For me it’s a no brainier he turns off tracking when he’s with you.

Lcb123 · 20/05/2023 08:15

I also think that’s pretty pathetic that his friends have nothing better to do than look at what their friend is doing. They need to get out more!

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 20/05/2023 08:53

It would give me the creeps.

My ex gave my daughter a phone that had a tracker on it. I didn't know this but he used to monitor where we were going.

I found out about it as I'd taken her to a concert and her phone died towards the end of the gig. We came home and she went straight to bed without turning the phone back on.

The following morning, I got a very angry phone call from him about her losing her phone. I could see the phone and knew it wasn't lost, but on his app, it looked like the phone was in a city centre some distance from here.

I had nothing to hide and regularly take daughter out to events, places of interest etc. I just found it creepy having him spying on us.

peachespeachespeaches · 20/05/2023 09:24

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/05/2023 08:11

All sounds v odd. If you don't like it tell hubby to remove himself from group. Or maybe do your own thing on holiday so you're not "joined at the hip" .
Do you have a "joint" Fbk page too?
I only really see this being a problem if you're in a dv type relationship....

What on earth are you talking about?

They're going on holiday together, why does she have to go off on her own so they're not "joined at the hip" on a holiday they are on together?

Why would they have a joint Facebook page? It's not her tracking his every move? Maybe him and "the lads" have a joint Facebook page?

Christ, people really are fucking stupid.

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/05/2023 13:21

@peachespeachespeaches I meant it all sounded a bit coercive control if they had a joint Fbk account etc

Pottedpalm · 20/05/2023 15:10

peachespeachespeaches · 20/05/2023 09:24

What on earth are you talking about?

They're going on holiday together, why does she have to go off on her own so they're not "joined at the hip" on a holiday they are on together?

Why would they have a joint Facebook page? It's not her tracking his every move? Maybe him and "the lads" have a joint Facebook page?

Christ, people really are fucking stupid.

Show quote history

Only on mumsnet do people behave like this. The same ones who only do their own washing and don’t cook for DHs or children over 12. Bloody weird.

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