To think reborn dolls are disturbing?

[Hazel2323]

I've just ended up down a rabbit hole on Facebook of people into reborn dolls. What the hell. Ive heard of them before but never knew just how many people are into them and the extent the obsession goes to. Dressing them, doing newborn photo shoots. They are the creepiest thing I've seen in a long time and I just can't understand why anyone would have one. Some say it's a hobby. Some have it after baby loss. Either way it's bizarre and not healthy.
I also don't like that these people are buying baby clothes to dress a doll in and toys/blankets/cots/bottles etc that real families could actually use. It seems terribly wasteful.

I agree, they are creepy ... but then, each to their own!

I find them unbelievably creepy.
I would find it hard to be in the same room as the most realistic ones.

And I find it veyr weird when people talk about them as if they are real babies.

Each to their own. Many things I don't like or want in my house that others like.

But I am with you OP. They are creepy

Some of them look so real.

*what would bring you

Everyone really cares about what you think is and isn't right.

There was a documentary about them years ago.

This is an awful read. I'll try compose my thoughts here but it probably won't be very articulate as I'm quite hurt reading this. Count your (judgemental) self lucky you've never lost a baby. I don't personally own one but I know how much my heart yearns to hold my baby again, I can actually see how much relief that might bring to someone in a moment of pain. Its not a long term solution but what harm is it causing you? You seem quite repulsed and having a very over the top reaction.

I used to think this, but then considered why I was being so judgemental. It doesn't harm anyone, it gives some people comfort. People do lots of weird things, why is this harmless thing judged so harshly.

The owners were regularly freaking out older women who were looking into their prams etc. for an indulgent cooking session over a cute baby - when they realised they weren't real.

One of the owners (blond curly hair) ... There was something up with her; she ordered a new doll, it had to be shipped from the US, they set up a weird "introduction"/first meet in a hotel and she noticed a very slight scratch or mark on the doll.

She fixated on it and seemed disproportionately affected and then I sister on returning it (it was custom made for her).
It was hard to get your head around.

Her husband was onboard with it all. I have no idea if they'd ever had any children.

Cooing not cooking!

When I say "used to think this", I mean I used to think it was a bit weird. I never had the issue with clothes (because that makes no sense), nor did I feel as strongly as the OP!

Live and let live and all that.

I can also see why some people might find it a comfort - baby loss, infertility or otherwise,

I don’t think they’re creepy. I don’t want one but I can imagine why someone else might. It’s one of those things that isn’t any of my business if someone else enjoys it.

The person who said they're used for women with dementia to reassure them and stop the panicked distressing searching for their baby whom they feel they should be looking after - this is a genuine question - don't they notice they're not real, don't they notice they don't wake up, are you saying they repeatedly return to one moment where the carer says "your baby is here sleeping, let's gave a cup of tea" on repeat and never get past that moment?

Holding an opinion is one thing, passing judgement is another. That's what you have done and it's nasty.
It doesn't impact one jot on you but definitely matters to those on the receiving end of your judgement.

I have first hand experience of the enormous therapeutic value reborns can bring. My family member experienced extreme childhood trauma and subsequently a complete breakdown. Finding the reborn community was her way out of this intensely difficult period in her life. She cared for and loved her reborn babies and they gave her a purpose at a time she felt life was notworth living. At just 10 years old. The babies gave her a reason to go out, something else to focus on and prompted calming and soothing activities that reduced anxiety and sense of isolation.
They created a reason to connect with other people on line and inspired my relative to paint her own reborns- a highly skilled activity. She sold her creations to others and gained self esteem and confidence.
She is now an adult and the dolls are in her loft. She works caring for others and sailed through her child development studies because she had read so extensively during her period of interest in reborn.

I will never forget the distress people like you caused her by making faces, commenting and passing judgement in public when she took her reborns out.

Think on OP and try and think about things from a different perspective.

Does it harm you in any way? Does your baby go naked, because someone buys baby clothes for a doll? Jeez.

Dementia is really serious. People who are severely affected might indeed not notice that the ‘baby’ is a doll. I used to work in care and one old lady repeatedly mistook me for her daughter, asking me questions about school etc. Her daughter visited frequently and was old enough to be my mum! At no time did the lady ‘notice’ that I was not a schoolgirl, looked nothing like her daughter, and was the same carer she’d known for months.

Do you know what dementia is ?

It's really harmless. If it makes people happy,I just can't see what's wrong with it. I find them quite cute actually. I absolutely adore babies...I once saw a reborn doll that really looked like my DD when she was a baby...I would have bought it but it costs thousands of pounds!

I don't like seeing them either, I always feel a bit sad for the people carrying them but I don't think just because you've not experienced baby loss you should be judging others on how they deal with it.
You don't like them, that is absolutely fine, but you don't need to judge those that do

Two of my children have died.

You, clearly, have no idea how empty your arms feel after you leave the hospital without your baby.

It's an agonising, physical pain.

If a reborn doll can help someone, even 1%, through the very worst grief a person can ever suffer, then who are you to come on, declare it weird, and start calling people odd.

It weirder to presume you would know exactly how you would feel if your child died tbh, you haven't a clue.

They are not for me but there are many reasons why someone might like them. I have heard of autistic ladies who collect them, older girls who still like dolls and have a special one and some nursing homes find them helpful for ladies with dementia. I once saw a very realistic one in a pram in town; so much so that I thought at first glance it was a real baby and complimented the mother on her baby. She told me it was a reborn doll, which is how I knew but she obviously had her reasons for having one, which were none of my business. Live and let live.

Ok, I see, thanks for answering.

I think they can be a bit uncanny valley but I'm not surprised they're good for dementia. My grandfather had a little scottie dog Teddy that brought him so much joy and stopped him pining for a real dog he could never have cared for.

Right. I’m off to find this pronto.

I thought this.