DH driving kids short distances without seatbelts on

[SeatbeltProblems]

Name changed as I'm very active on one of the other boards, with lots of outing information.

DH today, not for the first time, has driven our kids (7 & 4) a short distance (a few hundred metres) without their seatbelts on. Both kids can put their own belts on, but our 4 year struggles to reach around her car seat to get the plug, so it takes her a while. If we're in a rush we do it for her, but she's a stubborn 4 year old who likes doing things for herself, so if we're not in a rush we let her do it.

We live in a village with very quiet roads, my husband is driving the kids to the farmhouse behind our house. He's travelling on proper roads, not dirt tracks etc. he's driving about 20mph approx. 600m. He gets in his seat, he says, without realising the 4 year old hadn't got her belt on. 6 year old told him, he said 'we're almost there', and kept driving.

My view is: why risk it? This wasn't a one-off misunderstanding, he's done it before. He's choosing to drive the kids without their seatbelts on, and if something was to happen, they could be seriously injured or worse. How crappy a parent do you have to be, to not spend 5 seconds putting the belt on.

His view is: short distance, quiet rural roads, no risk.

AIBU? Am I going out of mind, or is he being stupid and irresponsible with our kids? He's laughing it off saying I'm being daft and he's really got me questioning myself.

He clearly doesn’t care. Not sure what can be done other than to contact police (if you’re dead serious) or refuse to let him drive the kids.

I mean the risk is probably minuscule but why take it and you want to get into the habit of the kids putting their belts on asap anyway.

Most newer cars will ding at you incessantly until you put the belt on!

Most accidents happen within a mile from home - so he should be more concerned in putting on their seat belts to go 600m than if he was 2 miles away.

Why is he driving them 600m?!

I’d be less worried about the unofficial individual journey and more about the precedent. You do not want your children to think that it’s ever acceptable to be in a car without a seatbelt on. That’sa lesson that will carry through to their teen years when they’re driving themselves/in friends’ cars. If he sets the example that it’s something you can decide on a case by case basis, then that leaves it up to them to make that decision themselves in the future. No.

^ meant to delete the word unofficial there!

One of my xinlaws drove literally from one end of his road to the fish n chip shop at the other end...he didn't wear a belt..a car hit him..he went from fit young truck driver to a virtual vegetable in the space of that random journey. He lost everything.

Obviously your child's journey wasn't within the same parameters but random stuff happens...plenty of animals jump out on country lanes..silly to risk it.

This is illegal as well as dangerous, of course they should be wearing seatbelts. https://www.gov.uk/seat-belts-law

Just stupid. It should be automatic. In the car, belt on, no matter what distance.

So no seatbelts, no carseat? 4year old should be rear facing still. Why is he driving such short distances?

My stepdaughters mother does this. It drives me and DP wild. Putting that little girls life at risk unnecessarily (and her older sister). She doesn't even bother with car seats.
YANBU. Just put your child first and strap them in no matter what! I don't even allow mine to sit in the car parked up without their seat belt incase something hits our parked car.

Sorry but I would actually ban my husband from driving the children unless I was there to check ! It’s a low risk but why take any risk ? Country lanes have so many hazards !

He's doing the journey 5 or 6 times back and forth today, taking some heavy equipment to the farm house.

Thanks all for the comments, especially as you agree with me!

What's odd is DH is a stickler for seatbelts on 'proper' journeys. We drive an hour every Sunday to visit inlaws and if one of the kids slips the belt of their shoulder for a moment to pick something up, he goes nuts! He lectures them about the risks and is usually Mr.Safety. That's why I'm posting here, wondering if it was me in the wrong on this.

In risk assessments you calculate the risk of it happening and the extent of possible harm. Relatively low risk of it happening (which he is focusing on) devastating potential harm if there was a crash. He is vvvvv unreasonable and I'd be telling him if he doesn't use belts with them he can't drive them anywhere

It’s not just the risk, it’s the message to the kids that you always have your seatbelt on, every time, not just when it’s convenient.

Do they have car seats or do you not use those either? Both should still be in one. I might be a very small risk but not one i would personally take or allow - why risk it? If he can’t wait til the kids do them up or do it for them he wouldn’t be taking my kids in a car. Anywhere. Ever.

Your 4 year old is too young to be in a seatbelt anyway. They should still be rear facing.

Yes car seats, that's why the 4 year old takes so long getting her seatbelt on, she has to reach around it to get to the plug. 4 year old is beyond height and weight recommendations to forward face in her car seat.

There's no requirement for a 4 year old to still be rear facing. They can forward face and if heavy enough can use the adult seat belt

What's odd is DH is a stickler for seatbelts on 'proper' journeys. We drive an hour every Sunday to visit inlaws and if one of the kids slips the belt of their shoulder for a moment to pick something up, he goes nuts! He lectures them about the risks and is usually Mr.Safety

approaching it from this angle is probably the way to go - it’s confusing for the kids if they don’t always have to wear them and he’s risking them making bad choices for longer journeys etc.

(in reality I’d probably just hit the roof as I don’t even start the engine until everyone is buckled in)

Cars aren't the only hazard: are there farm animals, dogs, cats that might wander into the road? Potholes? The mixed messages he is giving are dangerous.

There is if you don’t want to risk them being internally decapitated or paralysed.

Rear facing is safest for under 5s but ideally up to age 6/7.

Though if dad doesn’t even care about a seatbelt he’s not going to care about much else is he 🤷‍♀️

Driving on country roads is even worse than "normal" roads in my opinion. Many people expect them to be quiet and come ranking round corners FAR too quickly. Grew up driving them but it's not my driving I'm worried about - it's other people.

Also, such a bad habit to teach your kid.

Putting on a safety belt reduces the most risk - more than the car seat.

This would drive me crazy. Probably approach it from the point of view that it needs to be ingrained in your children that they wear a seat belt in a moving car - not matter what. I'd be very cross with him though.

There's also a pretty big hazard inside the car, and she's now free to move, stand-up, reach for her dad, grab our 7 year old, try to climb in the boot to the dog crate etc. - a 4 year old, especially ours, can do an awful lot in 600m that could distract a driver.