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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what happens to men that can’t stay faithful

95 replies

Biscuits1011 · 16/05/2023 18:07

I’m just wondering. Some men just always treat their partners like crap. Wether it be cheating, lying, or just plain horrible. I’m not talking about domestic abuse as such, but more men who just keep cheating and lying. Eventually the woman they are with will have enough and leave… does he just keep finding new women? Do they actually end up alone? Will they ever be happy? I’m just thinking out loud I think. Obviously it applies to some women too.

OP posts:

Tartantatooes · 30/12/2023 14:16

MidnightMeltdown · 30/12/2023 14:13

Men who do this usually (mistakenly) think that they're a catch and too good for their partner.

They either carry on sleeping around until they find someone who they truly love and respect, or they eventually 'settle' when they get too old to pull.

Ryan Giggs Dad comes to mind . He gave a newspaper interview saying he cheated on all his partners except the one he's with now . He's well into his seventies now .

nosoworried · 30/12/2023 14:27

After 2 failed marriages my family member finally recognised that married life is not for him and, at 75, is happily living on his own, but meeting his 'main gf' twice a week, whilst having additional 2 gfs in the side!
Been unfaithful all his life, but doesn't feel any remorse or guilt 🤷‍♀️
He's content with his life, is very strong and healthy and really happy.

HottestEverRecordedTemperature · 30/12/2023 14:30

SmashedApricot · 21/05/2023 18:27

Saw a bloke in his mid fifties out with his gorgeous Thai girlfriend in her twenties. He had ditched his long term partner and kids for her, my o/h worked with him . He looked like the cat that had got the cream . I thought how pathetic he looked even my o/h said the same . What's going to happen in thirty years time when he's in his mid eighties and she's only about 50 ? If they are truly in love and happy good luck to them .

Friend of mine had that happen to her. On his way out the door he passed the parting shot that his OW 'would never let herself go' like she had. (5 children and 20 years of marriage and a stressful job as A&E nurse).

He was fleeced in the end by the OW within 3 years and tried to come crawling back.

My feelings of schadenfreude were strong.

Tartantatooes · 30/12/2023 14:33

@HottestEverRecordedTemperature

I hope she sent him packing. Served him right .

HottestEverRecordedTemperature · 30/12/2023 14:40

She did. .

He now (as far as I know) makes an annual trip to Thailand as he always has a new girlfriend living there. I expect he plays the big man there but the reality is he is a very sad non entity. Mind you, Thailand is a glorious place and there are worse places to wash up.

BMW6 · 30/12/2023 14:50

My Dad's 2nd wife either didn't know he had affairs (one was my Mum - his first wife 🙄) or turned a blind eye. He just got too old to play around.

JazbayGrapes · 30/12/2023 14:52

impotence finally happens for sure

ChocolateCinderToffee · 30/12/2023 14:54

I knew someone whose dad was a serial monogamist. So every 7-8 years, he'd be unfaithful to his current wife/partner and move on to a new one. He was still doing this in his 70s.

Tartantatooes · 30/12/2023 15:23

HottestEverRecordedTemperature · 30/12/2023 14:40

She did. .

Hah and deep down he knows those women only want his wallet. They would not be interested in him if they were here in the UK

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/12/2023 19:05

Tartantatooes · 30/12/2023 15:23

Hah and deep down he knows those women only want his wallet. They would not be interested in him if they were here in the UK

Show quote history

Would that necessarily bother him?

There are lots of beautiful women who must be aware that their husband would never have looked at them if they weren't beautiful. Most relationships are somewhat transactional, it is just less obvious where looks and wealth are somewhat equal.

TheGander · 30/12/2023 22:28

That brings to mind Melania and Donald Trump. When she was asked would you be with Donald if he wasn’t a multimillionaire, she just replied would he be with me if I wasn’t beautiful. Nuff said.

Juicyj1993 · 30/12/2023 23:22

I have an older family member who has never been faithful to any woman, ever. He is now late 60s, multiple women on the go and terrible relationships with his family, and very few friends. I doubt he'll ever change.

HeddaGarbled · 30/12/2023 23:28

We’d love to think they end up alone, but they don’t: they just end up with the last one - see Boris and Carrie (maybe). It’s like pass the parcel when the music stops.

Browniesandcustard · 31/12/2023 07:12

My ex seemingly has a pattern and can’t stop himself messaging other women. We split up as he started an affair - turns out he has had affairs in every serious relationship he’s been in. It’s been quite an eye opener, as since leaving I've found out all sorts! He’s now in a relationship with his affair partner (although they are waiting until after the New Year to go official in the hope they’ll fool people 😂) but good luck to them, him with his ED, her with her stupid social media videos, and the pair of them wondering which of them is on which website looking for hook ups! It won’t last, he just can’t be faithful.

Boomshock · 01/01/2024 06:19

ChocolateCinderToffee · 30/12/2023 14:54

I knew someone whose dad was a serial monogamist. So every 7-8 years, he'd be unfaithful to his current wife/partner and move on to a new one. He was still doing this in his 70s.

How can he be a serial monogamist if he cheated on every woman he was with?

Justfinking · 01/01/2024 06:20

Not all women leave. If they do, they just find another sucker.

Justfinking · 01/01/2024 06:25

My uncle was still doing this in his 60s! He's finally settled down at 75ish with someone in their 40s, and he's not attractive at all nor is he very rich (he's comfortable, but not rich). Go figure.

WandaWonder · 01/01/2024 06:37

They get away with it and sometimes it is with women who want a certain lifestyle so will put up with it so they can have the big house, room for a pony, private school and go out to lunch with their friends who are also married to men who cheat

I can't say many men are good at covering their tracks either that or the women turn a blind eye to it

DeeCeeCherry · 02/01/2024 15:00

One thing for sure is, a handsome, well put together man will always get a woman. No matter what. The world is superficial that way. Such a man may not in the end, be with the woman he wanted/should've stayed with. But there'll be a woman there nonetheless so he'll get by. Just as other people do, who aren't beatifically happy in their relationships. Even if he's not so attractive etc actually, it'll still be the case of a woman there catering to his needs. I think some women convince themselves these men will be struck down by karma but its not often the case and wishing/waiting on that isnt a healthy mindset

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 02/01/2024 15:05

The one who regularly cheated on a close friend of my mother and infected her with STDs? She died and he ended up an impotent, incontinent and decrepit old man who was financially taken advantage of by a carer who he believed was in love with him. A truly pathetic sight.

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