To wonder what happens to men that can’t stay faithful

[Biscuits1011]

I’m just wondering. Some men just always treat their partners like crap. Wether it be cheating, lying, or just plain horrible. I’m not talking about domestic abuse as such, but more men who just keep cheating and lying. Eventually the woman they are with will have enough and leave… does he just keep finding new women? Do they actually end up alone? Will they ever be happy? I’m just thinking out loud I think. Obviously it applies to some women too.

You seem remarkably invested in this grade A arsehole. Why is that?

Well, there are three options, I guess.

Either they learn not to behave like that,
Or they carry on but find a woman who will put up with it
Or they end up as lonely old men

I know we a man like this who had not one but two affair partners as well as a wife. His hospital bedside was busy.

I think they cheat until opportunities run out.

@HellonHeels my husband knows I come on here, he'll have mentioned it to his OW. I hope it is her, she can read it all. About how I had the best of him, the lovely young man, who adored me and loved bringing up our family. She can then know she's getting the miserable old man. I can move on, guilt free! Lol

I knew if one (worked with them) who married a woman who also worked in his area and watched him like a hawk.

Living alone doesn't equal lonely. Men don't judge each other, so they still keep friendships. They don't bother with their kids so they have time to keep those friendships going. For the aging ones now, they'll lose their sex drive and settle for a companion, or rather someone to cook and clean for them. Sadly people don't get their comeuppance.

My exH is one of these men - he seems to have a 7-year attention span as far as relationships are concerned. I was his second wife ( the only partner he’s had children with) and in the twenty years since we split up, he’s had three serious long-term relationships and many more passing interests and flings. He’s just left his latest partner (who is really lovely - the boys and I had hoped he’d finally found the person he’d settle down with) for someone he met on holiday a few weeks ago. Thing is, he’s mid-60s and though he is in good shape and looks after himself, he has a degenerative neurological condition, so I wonder how much longer he’s going to be able to keep up this pattern for. On the other hand, he’s very charming and well-off, so maybe that’ll help. There’s such a long trail of damaged women behind him though, it doesn’t really seem karma is losing his way.

What’s wrong with companion?

I will never understand people who think that the only thing in relationships worthy of having is sex.
Wouldn’t people just have string of ONS if nothing else matters?

(Yes, I derailed the op)

Oh God, my typing…. I meant “it doesn’t look like karma is coming his way”…🙄

Nothing is wrong with wanting companionship, but this thread is about men who are serial cheaters, so at one point, sex was the be all and end all. Or rather their ego was.

Saw a bloke in his mid fifties out with his gorgeous Thai girlfriend in her twenties. He had ditched his long term partner and kids for her, my o/h worked with him . He looked like the cat that had got the cream . I thought how pathetic he looked even my o/h said the same . What's going to happen in thirty years time when he's in his mid eighties and she's only about 50 ? If they are truly in love and happy good luck to them .

Probably as many outcomes as there are people.
My dad was/is a "serial shagger". I'm the youngest 6 children that he's had with 4 different women (that I know of). He was never much of a part of my life and his relationship with my mother ended earlier than I have conscious memory of due to cheating (a common theme in his relationships).

I haven't seen him in over a decade but he's in his 60s now and the last time I saw one of my half brothers I was told he was in Canada with his new girlfriend. He still regularly meets up with my mother to play badminton and she'll probably shed a tear at his funeral if he goes first (though I probably wouldn't attend).

Generally, people who die alone are people who are just not socially skilled which leads to fewer interpersonal connections. Men who are personable enough to be prolifically promiscuous usually do just fine on that front.

First day on the internet??

Either way it's totally normal to make comments like that when you've been fucked over. It's absolutely fine to find things to laugh at them over and helps people get over the person.
Have you never consoled a friend by ripping into their ex? It's totally normal.

In my experience they end up with one of the other women who will take that shit from them after the one who put up with it for years refuses to put up with it anymore.

Seeing as this one has popped up again... an update:
My husband has now been fired from his job, so he's now jobless, moneyless, depressed with erectile dysfunction although he might be getting it up at the moment, temporarily, and still needs a hip replacement. He's living with his OW but my dc tell me it's not a nice place but h just shrugs and says it's what he deserves. H is also texting me several times a week, with chatty messages, which I keep shutting down. He's not winning at life, he really isn't. As much as he took refuge in an emotional affair, I really don't think he thought the whole thing through and he's obviously miserable, he's told me he'll always have bad mental health, that this is who he is.

So my serial cheater, certainly isn't skipping off into the subset all happy. Turns out he's done me a massive favour.

@RunThroughTheJungle I hope you stay strong and do not take him back.

It reads like he is buttering you up for a return.

Take his leaving as a huge menopausal gift.

You deserve to focus on yourself and not minding a selfish man.

Self care is critical to getting through the menopause.

Wishing you well.

While he's depressed he'll never try to come back. He says he's in a really dark place and can't see his way out, that he'll always be like this. If he does eventually drag himself out of it, he may try but I doubt it, and I doubt it would ever work and I can't go through this again, it would kill me. I need to get on with my life and I have some great things planned, I want to be the strong woman he fell in love with, the woman I was before I gave most of myself up for him. The best I can hope is he'll eat his heart out and he will, I saw him do the same when he first wife got her shit together. She's much more successful than him, has better cars, two houses etc. and that makes him feel inadequate, I had to pick up those pieces too. He's jealous too, I'm not wanting to move on yet, but when I do, he will not cope at all.

He really is his own worst enemy, comparison is the thief of joy.

Surely part of the incentive for the lady from Thailand is that she gets a British passport out of the deal?
Surely she will look around and realize that she could do much better than this old bloke.... she could get a hot young man instead 🕺

My first husband was this type of man.
I left him over 25 years ago.
He is now an alcoholic slowly dying in a horrible flat.
His kids and mum are very low contact with him (maybe meet for coffee twice a year if that) his extended family don’t steak to him at all.

Many unfaithful men (probably most) have wives who pretend it isn't happening. Eventually he gets too old to chase women, and then enjoys a peaceful old age in the bosom of his family.

Men who are personable enough to be prolifically promiscuous usually do just fine on that front

Very true.

I think they are just in denial , they don't want to admit what's happened. Often when they are told about the cheating they will believe the man and shun the person who told them branding them as a trouble maker

My dad was like this. Married 3 times, cheated on all of them. Although I would argue wife 2&3 knew what they were getting into as both were the OW. (My mum was wife 3).

Tbh he always landed on his feet. I hated him but I can't deny he had all the charm and was good looking. I'd like to tell you he ended up sad and alone but the truth is he didn't. He did die in his 60s so can't say what his later years would have been like. But doubtless he'd have found someone to take care of him. He did have yet another GF when he passed.

Men who do this usually (mistakenly) think that they're a catch and too good for their partner.

They either carry on sleeping around until they find someone who they truly love and respect, or they eventually 'settle' when they get too old to pull.