To give up DS 6 swimming lessons

[AHelpfulHand]

He’s been having swimming lessons since age 4.5 years. We started off on a one to one at a cost of £29.50 per lesson. After 8 months of messing his instructor about (lack of focus, wouldn't listen to the instructor etc) i decided that maybe a group would be better (£14.40 a lesson)

We’re now 18 months from starting the swimming lessons and he's still in arm bands and hasn't got his 5 meter badge.

He complains every week about going, he doesn't like it etc.

I finally learnt to swim last year at age 34. I can only do breast stroke though and i don’t like my head under water or anything, this is why I’m persevering with him.

Dh thinks i should give up the swimming lessons and try him again in a few years when he actually wants to do it.

Learning to swim is a life saving skill so i don't want to do him a disservice by stopping them.

This is a private firm, not run by the council (i don't know if thats of any relevance)

What would you do?

YABU Give them up

YANBU Carry them on

I only started lessons for DD at 8 years old. When they are really little, taking them yourself for fun is enough, plus for my DD she would have just mucked around in a group class.
I was going to start at age 6 but we were delayed by Covid, and in that time she had taught herself a bit by watching others. Wouldn't listen if I tried to teach her!

I went for 2-1 lessons which are expensive but it's easier for her to focus and it's a company where the teacher is in the pool with them all the time. By the end of the term she'll have finished stage 2, which is probably not the quickest progress but getting better steadily.

I votes YABU but thinking about it see if you can find someone that does self rescue
survival classes. Normally taught to babies and infants but my friend teaches older kids too. They will teach him how to float on his back and flip to front to swim and back
to his back. Then it doesn’t matter how deep the pool is, he’ll know how to flip to his back if he is tired/nervous and float there, then can flip back to resume swimming.

I would give up the lessons and go regularly/ weekly with child. Not to learn to swim but for fun and get them to enjoy swimming and want to learn

Keep at it. Swimming is lifesaving and non negotiable in my eyes.

I would give up on the lessons too.
The same thing happened to my ds and when we went back to it when he was around 8.5, he picked it up really quickly.
There must be some physiology involved and sometimes young children may not be ready.
Keep taking him for fun though.

I would change to a pool where he CAN reach the bottom. I insisted mine had to swim 25m unaided before I would let them stop lessons.

The arm bands seem odd. I didn't think swimming instructors used them. All three of GC have lessons and none have use arm bands all of them have progressed very quickly. They are council run swimming lessons with qualified instructors.

My daughter learnt best on holiday, I was in the pool with her and by the end of the 10 days she was swimming alone.
just have fun with it.

My DCs learnt at a pool out of their depth too. One of the four messed about a bit but soon got his head down when I told him he wasn’t giving up lessons until he could swim at least 100m competently.

But I echo everyone else who says get a new instructor.

You can learn to swim and still drown, learning to swim is great but it is not mandatory

And I will never use a swim school that uses arm bands they are toys only

What worked well for us was taking a break from weekly classes, giving it a six month rest and then paying for an intensive week course. We now make them a regular thing, they seem to benefit from the daily swim.

This. Why on earth is he wearing arm bands. Non swimmers should be learning without them. Find a different class.

I taught swimming for years and here are my tips

• There is a developmental readiness for swimming lessons. What you've done is brilliant - you've gotten him used to water and hopefully he's learned some safety skills. This is a really good start and he's in a much better place than kids who haven't been as exposed to water.
• It sounds like some of the key areas he needs in order to go to the next level - focus, motivation etc., he's not got quite yet.
• I have never ever heard of lessons with arm bands. Never. Never seen it either.
• Young children should not learn in pools where they can't touch the ground. It's actually illogical. You need a new pool.
• It is deeply important to know how to swim, you are right. But that isn't based on his having a lesson this week/month.
• Some dc do better with more intensive lessons - for example over the summer break having a lesson every weekday for 2 weeks gets them far further than 10 lessons over 10 weeks. I find this is especially true for dc who don't progress at the same rate and children who are not neurotypical.
• Don't leave it to learning at school, they will need more than current schools offer. Most dc who only have school swim lessons can't actually properly swim. Some can and some have good basics, but very few get to a level that's enough for proper swim safety.

My advice would be wait 6-9 months and start again winter or spring term. Just go as a family in the interim. It's okay he wants to jump and have fun, it will all help. Do things like having him find rings that you throw into the pool, point out safety tips, have him as involved as possible. Look for a different swim school for next spring that have access to shallow water, no arm band policy and I'd say if you can try to have 2 lessons/week vs. one.

He will get there @AHelpfulHand there's no doubt about that.

Not sure why this thread was revived, it's a few weeks old. How was your holiday, @AHelpfulHand ? Did your DS do lots of swimming?

I feel your pain. My first two did group lessons no problem but youngest couldn't pick it up. We tried several 1:1 instructors and quiet pool before he started making progress. He also had to be out of his depth and not be able to put feet down or he walked and didn't swim. His instructor would have noodle for him to grab

I’d be afraid it would totally go on the long finger, and as someone who learnt to swim late myself you know how hard it is. BUT maybe change classes or pools? My frien drives 50 min with her dd because she was so long in the first class, she absolutely flew it when she moved!

Sorry CBA to rtft so this may be very "cancel the cheque" but teach him to float, rather than swim, and pause the swimming lessons for a bit.

Go swimming for fun and teach floating so if he falls in he can keep himself alive by floating, then revisit the swimming lessons in 6 months.

I would find some cheap council pool lessons and ease the pressure

where on earth are all these "cheap council lessons"? My local pool was one of the very last pools to move from council control to a nationwide company and that was back in about 2016.

They charge around £50 a month for lessons, although there are people on old deals from the council-run era who pay less (£30 a month). But they'll be adults and maybe older teens; not the younger kids. The lessons do include free swimming in public sessions though.

@lieselotte Northumberland county council and Newcastle Upon Tyne/Tyne and Wear still do cheap council run swimming lessons using the swim England program......just for info for anyone in those regions.