To give up DS 6 swimming lessons

[AHelpfulHand]

He’s been having swimming lessons since age 4.5 years. We started off on a one to one at a cost of £29.50 per lesson. After 8 months of messing his instructor about (lack of focus, wouldn't listen to the instructor etc) i decided that maybe a group would be better (£14.40 a lesson)

We’re now 18 months from starting the swimming lessons and he's still in arm bands and hasn't got his 5 meter badge.

He complains every week about going, he doesn't like it etc.

I finally learnt to swim last year at age 34. I can only do breast stroke though and i don’t like my head under water or anything, this is why I’m persevering with him.

Dh thinks i should give up the swimming lessons and try him again in a few years when he actually wants to do it.

Learning to swim is a life saving skill so i don't want to do him a disservice by stopping them.

This is a private firm, not run by the council (i don't know if thats of any relevance)

What would you do?

YABU Give them up

YANBU Carry them on

OP Are you anywhere near any of these? Amazing swim school, never seen any child fail to make progress there, if you’re close enough to any of the branches then try a free trial lesson.
https://theswimschool.co.uk/

I wouldn’t stop lessons, but change swimming schools. The issue with stopping is that he would then start swimming with lots of 5 year olds, and might not like it

Thank all for your suggestions.

Choking on the water hasn’t phased him at all.

The local council baths has a baby pool but the waiting lists are years.

Apart from that, there isn’t a local teaching pool that kids can touch the ground.

Ive no idea what level he’s at as they don’t share this information with parents (it doesn’t say on our online portal)

All I know is that he can’t swim unaided.

I had this with my eldest - she was in armbands for years - in the end it was tough love. I took them every week myself for an hour in addition to the lesson and insisted that they practiced practiced practiced - don't care if it came across as harsh or if she cried - I'd reward for doing well and removing armbands but messing about or clearly not trying was met with short thrift and removal of other privileges like going to one of her hobby clubs that week - i was fed up of wasting money and quite frankly watching crap lessons. Funnily enough once I'd got them out of armbands she progressed amazingly quickly through the levels and really enjoys going now. Sometimes softly softly gently parenting just isn't going to work

I was thinking of stopping them completely, taking him myself 2 x a week so just play around, then when he can touch the floor, or he asks to start again, then going back to a 1-1.

I agree he shouldn’t be in arm bands for swimming lessons. That’s really odd.

My Dd was making slow progress with swimming lessons, and I’ve moved him to 1-2-1 lessons. It’s more expensive, but he’s really flying with them, so hopefully won’t cost too much more in the long term.

Neither of my kids have learnt to swim in pools where they can touch the bottom. Neither of them have had armbands. When they couldn’t swim at all they either had instructors /helpers in the pool, or I went in with them. I agree that you should find another swim school.

My DDs learnt in a pool out of their depth... they made it safe by having a parent in the water until 5yo or being able to swim 25metres. No armbands, just noodles.

He's not learning as he isn't happy.

I've taken my children to a total of 3 swimming schools and none have ever used armbands, they have all been quite anti armband. For any children that couldn't touch the bottom they had tummy belts. I think you just need to find a different swimming school. I wouldn't rely on the school lessons, they can only do a small amount and they are in a very large group.

My DS was having trouble learning around this age. Where I live kids primarily learn in group lessons when they are five and older - before that, lessons are held with a parent. My DS cried, panicked, and didn't progress for months. He had to learn, though, as we had a pool at home. In desperation, I decided to take him back a stage and got back in the water with him. It was the best thing for him and he never looked back.

Swimming is such an important skill. You may not live near water (as others have said) or think a child will need this skill - until they do. I've had to rescue a drowned person and try to revive her. I don't want that to happen to anyone else. It is truly horrifying.

I agree he shouldn’t be in arm bands for swimming lessons. That’s really odd.

It's quite normal actually. Many swimming lesson organisation teach with armbands - the circle ones where you start out with say 3 on each arm and gradually remove them as they become more confidant.
I don't know any in my area that teach with zero aids

I think stopping is a bad idea. Unless you are going to be firm with him when you take him he'll just mess around and see it as having "won"

I was feeling the same with my kids and their swimming progress. I was close to pulling them out of their lessons. Then we went on a holiday with a pool and daily swimming in the pool did wonders. When they were back in lessons they started making progress again. Obv a holiday is not always possible...but helped a lot for my 2!

They all have aids like the pool noodles or foam floats we do the swim England swimming lessons and they wouldn’t let a child in with armbands.

I would take a break for three months or so.
During that time I would take him to the pool and allow him to play around . Then I would find a new instructor

The arm bands he has are those foam ring things. Look like a disc. He has 2 on each arm.

They’re not those things you blow up

He is with a company called SwimTime. They’re a franchise

They use these at the pool my children have their lessons too (council ).
It seems to be financially viable to you to take him to pick something out at the toy shop or somewhere when he goes up a level? Or if there's something else he really wants.

Can you take him to the council pool?

Both my dc could swim before they started lessons - they didn’t have strokes but they could stay afloat and move through the water. They picked it up because they were having fun in the water. We used a pool noodle because they couldn’t touch the bottom but it’s definitely easier to make the jump to swimming by themselves if they can put their feet down.

I think your idea of stopping lessons for now and taking him yourself more often is good. I would focus on some games that will teach him water safety - blowing bubbles underwater, holding his breath, swimming to the side.

That's is a rip off for group lessons given the progress and actual water
Time they get.

Learning at school I think depends very much on area / LA. Dts got five half sessions in y5. They were competent swimmers by then but none of the non swimmers moved up. I was a parent helper to get them there.

I would stop all together for now. Take him for fun with a teaching pool so he can stand up, play with pool noodles, no armbands and then try again.

If you are going on holiday this year look at a weeks intensive course and he'll have the rest of the day to play.

We’re going abroad next week.

I will look into the council teaching pool opening times (I know they have recently put strict limited times when they open it due to costs)

I would stop - the current lessons are not working. Have a look for a crash course in school holidays - our local pool had offered 4 x 45 minute lessons in a week - for us the equivalent of 6 weeks lessons. Progress is quicker and many children achieve their stage 1 in the week.

OP it sounds like extraordinarily slow progress. There must be other options locally that aren’t this pool that’s too deep for him to stand up in and the council pool? There are tons of swim schools near me, most of them use school pools or hotel pools. My just turned 7 year old DS has been in lessons for 2 years, so only a bit longer than your son, and has almost finished stage 4, and I don’t think he’s made particularly fast progress.

My DS1 has had nearly 100 lessons. Literally. At school, 1-1 and in group. he has dyspraxia and CAN NOT SWIM. He is 13.

I gave up about 18 months ago and instead took him to a family fun session once a week (maybe 3 times a month or so) where we just bobbed about together and with his younger (good swimming) brother. Just played. About 3 weeks ago he all of a sudden swam. Just breaststroke and just 10 metres or so but swimming. More to the point he went from loathing swimming and having meltdowns to loving it. The rpessure was off and we all just played about with noodles and the like.

That approach worked for us.

I think the problem must be aggravated by the fact he can't touch the bottom in the pool he is being taught in. People saying "try another teacher" are missing the point. It's likely to be the pool not the teacher, and people saying "don't bother using arm bands" also are missing the point. OP's DC has to use armbands whether he likes them or not because he can't touch the bottom of the pool.

I would get back on to the council list for the learner/baby pool lessons. Even if it takes months and months, get on the waiting list.