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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to buy the house?

121 replies

WatchingBenidorm · 15/05/2023 07:37

Firstly I am fully aware that this is a very first world problem that we are extremely lucky to have.

I’ll try and keep this short. I would really like opinions as I genuinely don’t know what to do!

It’s me, DH, 3 DC age 10,8,6.

Current house is nice size 4 bed detached, open plan kitchen diner, living room, 2 bathrooms and one en suite. Medium size but very manageable garden (big enough for shed, 8 seat table and chairs, 12 foot trampoline and a climbing frame with a little grass to spare. Off-street parking for 4 cars. Lovely quiet road, great neighbours and a short walk to primary school and to likely secondary school. DH works from home, currently in the garage but if we stay we are planning to swap the shed for an outside office building with storage. We did a huge amount of building work in 2017 including all re-wiring and new boiler so no work to do for the foreseeable.

We have no mortgage on this house.

A house locally has come up for sale and we love it. Absolute tip of a house, the entire place needs re-wiring, re-plastering, all plumbing works done, new kitchen, new windows, new floorboards in some rooms, around £25k worth of work on the roof alone. A lot of the light switches are marked ‘do not use’. There is only one bathroom, plus two separate toilets and one of the three toilets does not work. Most of the house is not double-glazed, what has been done has mainly been nailed to the inside of the existing window. We could still walk to both schools but would be a longer walk (25min as opposed to 15).
BUT it is a massive house, 6 large bedrooms upstairs, 4 reception rooms downstairs so we would have the possibility of older relatives moving in if needed later on. The plot is just over an acre and has the most amazing garden, part lawn part woodland with some very rare trees and a mass of bluebells at the right time year. I am a forest school leader and looking to qualify as an outdoor therapist to work with adult and young people and this would be perfect for that. One side of the plot borders a community farm project which looks after 14 acres of protected land, so lovely open fields and no chance of this being built on.

In order to buy house 2 we will need to take a mortgage again. Our builder estimates £250k to do the main works required to make it safe and suitable to live in. So we would be borrowing around £300k. This is affordable but repayments would obviously have an impact on our day to day lifestyle. Plus every spare minute would be spent ‘doing up the house’ to minimise cost of getting professionals in.

Would you buy the dream house (that is currently a nightmare) or would you stay put in the safe, risk-free house and enjoy lots of disposable income and saving for the future?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 15/05/2023 07:44

I think you're absolutely mad to even consider buying that money pit, and not just for financial reasons, but with three children who are fast approaching uni, the financial reasons are massive. I would stay put and be very thankful you don't have a mortgage and are able to save aggressively.

TheSandgroper · 15/05/2023 07:47

You don’t say how much the house is asking so don’t know the total budget required.

However, if I could buy and get essential work done while I still lived in the complete house (even for 6 months), I would go for it. The pain level seems eyewatering but the benefits sound amazing.

Twiglets1 · 15/05/2023 07:49

I wouldn’t do it as couldn’t face the stress & renovation projects always seem to cost more than expected.
Its personal choice though 🤷🏼‍♀️

MyNewWittyUserName · 15/05/2023 07:49

I'd buy it, but I love a project.

Whinge · 15/05/2023 07:52

Even ignoring the huge financial sacrifice and eye watering amount of work the house needs this part of your post stood out to me.

Plus every spare minute would be spent ‘doing up the house’ to minimise cost of getting professionals in.

Is that a life you want? For the next 3, 5, 10 or however many years to be spent on the house. No holidays, no weekends where you just enjoy time together as a family? It sounds like a hellish way to live, and that's without the added addition of children and a partner who works from home.

I would stay where you are and forget the money pit.

junebirthdaygirl · 15/05/2023 07:53

If you are considering living in the house while renovation takes place..don't do it. You will go off your head with the upheaval. It will take a toll on your marriage/ health etc. Sometimes it is better not to have space for elderly relatives as you could be left by extended family doing everything.
Saying that you could do with one extra living area as dc turn to teens and you could run a business there with the one acre.
But my answer is No!

smearfears · 15/05/2023 07:55

I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Not if you are mortgage free. I get it that you say the extra bedrooms may be helpful for older relatives in the future but kids don't live at home forever.

Paq · 15/05/2023 07:55

No, I wouldn't. And I love a project. With your children the ages they are you will get so much more out of holidays and time together.

Bimbom · 15/05/2023 07:56

I'd stay put. I've never undertaken renovations but from what I understand they always end up costing a lot more than you budget for.

The money you would've spent I would save for helping your children onto the ladder when the time comes, and enjoy your spare time with them instead.

FlounderingFruitcake · 15/05/2023 07:56

I’d only buy it if I could comfortably afford to get it all done by professionals, so absolutely not every spare minute would be spent ‘doing up the house’ to minimise cost of getting professionals in and if I could live elsewhere whilst the building work was ongoing. Otherwise it sounds a miserable stress for space you don’t actually need and it’ll massively curb your lifestyle. But each to their own, I know some people love a renovation!

Losingweightissohard · 15/05/2023 07:56

Buy a big second hand static caravan to escape to during the renovations which could also be retrofitted later in line with your forest business to be a office and go for it.

You only live once. You’ll always wonder what if.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 15/05/2023 07:58

3 primary age kids and volatile mortgage rates? Not a chance.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 15/05/2023 07:58

I grew up in a house like the one you described and hated it.
I think there is a bit of a romance with these wrecks, but it will cost fortunes, will be really limiting for many years, and by the time it’s done your children will probably have flown the best

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/05/2023 07:58

Please don’t.

FatGirlSwim · 15/05/2023 08:00

I wouldn’t, not in a million years. You’re in a very fortunate position and I think you’d be absolutely mad to throw that away.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 15/05/2023 08:01

With the age your kids are just now, no I wouldn’t.

We’ve just done it with only an adult child at home and all the way through I’ve said ‘I don’t know how people with young kids do this’.

ours took 6-8 months using trades (because dh and I can barely hang a picture, never mind actual work!) and was pretty smooth, but the upheaval is HUGE.

If buying a doer upper was the only way you could get a suitable home then I’d say to go for it, sometimes you have to do what you have to do, but Given that you have what sounds like a lovely home, I honestly wouldn’t put yourself and your kids through the upheaval.

custardbear · 15/05/2023 08:02

It sounds great, but you'll need contingency built in too as it anyways goes above budget.

Do you mean you'll have a mortgage of £300k? That would be well over £1k a month, probably closer to £1.5k

Where would you live doing renovations? And also when can the builder do them? Sounds like you can't live there so you'd need somewhere to live during the work, easy if you can afford to keep your current home, but rent is huge these days, when we renovated se spent 8 months paying an extra 1k a month plus double bills of course

NEmama · 15/05/2023 08:05

Would you keep the current house?

TiredandLate · 15/05/2023 08:06

I'm living in a reno now so I'm not the best judge 😂but factor in a massive increase in energy bills too. We moved from a new build costing £50pm dual (!) and it jumped to over £300pm before all the crazy prices and govt schemes. Actual usage over winter was around £500pm to keep the upstairs at 16° during the day, 11° by morning. Don't underestimate how hard it can be to warm up big old houses.

romdowa · 15/05/2023 08:09

Lord no. Why would you swap the financial security of no mortgage for an absolute money pit. Your heart may say yes but this is definitely an occasion where you need to think with your head.

Original poster
WatchingBenidorm · 15/05/2023 08:10

Thank you all for the responses, I agree with all of you!

I know the sensible decision is to stay out and we are incredibly fortunate to be in the position we are now. The house really could be something special but perhaps not for us right now.

Back to hopefully browsing Rightmove for the outside space I want :(

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 15/05/2023 08:11

I wouldn't, I am retired, no mortgage and am having work done to my home at present. Nothing huge but it's cost more than I expected because something else seems to have to be done every time, nothing is a simple job, even when it should be. It's caused me some stress that I don't need but is essential work. I have done a fixer upper in the past and frankly I wouldn't do it again. The time, the money, the stress, no thanks. To be mortgage free takes stress away from you, renovating a wreck piles it on.

Whinge · 15/05/2023 08:14

Back to hopefully browsing Rightmove for the outside space I want :(

Why not get in touch with the local community farm project and see if they would be interested in you running some sessions on part of the land?

evuscha · 15/05/2023 08:15

Bear in mind the renovation usually ends up costing more than estimated, sounds like this could be quite a moneypit.
Your current house sounds great and a mortgage free life must be dreamy!

Perthsmurf · 15/05/2023 08:17

Just seen your update OP and think you’re very sensible. My friend has children around the same ages plus one teenager. She’s wealthy and bought what is basically an estate (it has stables, ice house etc). It is a complete wreck and needs everything doing. Worse, every time a problem is tackled, it turns into a bigger problem that wasn’t apparent before- think rooms unusable for weeks because of dry rot, dangerous wiring etc.

She is exhausted even though she is getting professionals in for everything- plus she is full time at home to project manage everything for a couple of years, so has more time than most.

By the time it’s finished, her children will be teenagers and heading off to the bright lights.

It’s what she wants to do, and she is in a great financial position, but it’s been at a cost in terms of time with her children.