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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to buy the house?

121 replies

WatchingBenidorm · 15/05/2023 07:37

Firstly I am fully aware that this is a very first world problem that we are extremely lucky to have.

I’ll try and keep this short. I would really like opinions as I genuinely don’t know what to do!

It’s me, DH, 3 DC age 10,8,6.

Current house is nice size 4 bed detached, open plan kitchen diner, living room, 2 bathrooms and one en suite. Medium size but very manageable garden (big enough for shed, 8 seat table and chairs, 12 foot trampoline and a climbing frame with a little grass to spare. Off-street parking for 4 cars. Lovely quiet road, great neighbours and a short walk to primary school and to likely secondary school. DH works from home, currently in the garage but if we stay we are planning to swap the shed for an outside office building with storage. We did a huge amount of building work in 2017 including all re-wiring and new boiler so no work to do for the foreseeable.

We have no mortgage on this house.

A house locally has come up for sale and we love it. Absolute tip of a house, the entire place needs re-wiring, re-plastering, all plumbing works done, new kitchen, new windows, new floorboards in some rooms, around £25k worth of work on the roof alone. A lot of the light switches are marked ‘do not use’. There is only one bathroom, plus two separate toilets and one of the three toilets does not work. Most of the house is not double-glazed, what has been done has mainly been nailed to the inside of the existing window. We could still walk to both schools but would be a longer walk (25min as opposed to 15).
BUT it is a massive house, 6 large bedrooms upstairs, 4 reception rooms downstairs so we would have the possibility of older relatives moving in if needed later on. The plot is just over an acre and has the most amazing garden, part lawn part woodland with some very rare trees and a mass of bluebells at the right time year. I am a forest school leader and looking to qualify as an outdoor therapist to work with adult and young people and this would be perfect for that. One side of the plot borders a community farm project which looks after 14 acres of protected land, so lovely open fields and no chance of this being built on.

In order to buy house 2 we will need to take a mortgage again. Our builder estimates £250k to do the main works required to make it safe and suitable to live in. So we would be borrowing around £300k. This is affordable but repayments would obviously have an impact on our day to day lifestyle. Plus every spare minute would be spent ‘doing up the house’ to minimise cost of getting professionals in.

Would you buy the dream house (that is currently a nightmare) or would you stay put in the safe, risk-free house and enjoy lots of disposable income and saving for the future?

OP posts:
Ispini · 15/05/2023 08:18

Would it be possible to lease some woodland from a local landowner, 6our plan would be presumably really welcomed in your community.

Sissynova · 15/05/2023 08:21

Why wouldn’t you just upside for the £300k and have a move in ready house?
The building work will cost more money and time than you think it will, it always does.

CattytheFatty · 15/05/2023 08:23

Renovations definitely end up costing much more than expected. If the builder is saying £250k it will probably be more like half a million+ to do all the things you want to. Especially at the moment

CattytheFatty · 15/05/2023 08:24

Can you post link to money pit, Op?

<nosy>

Hiphopopotamus · 15/05/2023 08:25

In your situation I wouldn’t buy thuu it a particular house. Sounds like an absolute money pit and will initially lead to a very stressful life. But I would start looking for a property, maybe not quite as big and in better shape but one where you could start the business. Look at maybe a 100k mortgage to facilitate it.

pizzaHeart · 15/05/2023 08:25

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 15/05/2023 07:58

3 primary age kids and volatile mortgage rates? Not a chance.

Exactly this^

Ladykryptonite · 15/05/2023 08:26

Being near to the kids primary school would be important for me and the kids quality of life, but the project does sound exciting

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 15/05/2023 08:26

Going against the grain, I would do it. Sounds like the mortgage repayments are affordable for you?

We are in the middle of one now, it has of course overrun, and we will end up spending more. But the house will be exactly how we want it, it's in a great location, and we're home a lot now with partial WFH so it's a priority for us. We're viewing the money we are putting in as an investment.

Life changes and with teens etc and possibly older parents, I'd think the extra space would be welcome.

Didimum · 15/05/2023 08:27

I recently made a very similar move and don’t regret it one bit. There is always something to do and fix but the house is wonderful to live in, even if it’s currently less ‘nice’ than our old house, and the kids are loving all the space. I adore old houses and it gives me a lot of enjoyment every day to restore it. The only difference is - and this would give me pause in your situation - is that our children were only 4 when we moved and we also moved to a better school situation from our previous area. I’m not sure I would have don’t the same had the kids been older as we would have had less need to have a big house for as much time. They also need far less money spent on them at 4yrs old as opposed to 6, 8 and 10.

CatatonicLadybug · 15/05/2023 08:28

We bought a house that needed some major work but not a total upheaval - the kitchen and bathroom were basically torn out and we started fresh. We had five months overlap with our rental and moving in here and thought we would have a significant amount of the work done when we moved in. In reality, we had a working toilet the actual day we handed in our keys for the old place and then it turned out the floorboards were still wet upstairs on move in day so we had to go stay in a hotel the first night. A week later, we ripped out the kitchen and this took forever and a day to finish.

lots of money. Lots of arguments. Lots of feeling like all my time that should go to parenting was going to sanding, painting, and plastering things. Lots of time with strangers working in my home on top of our own WFH hours. With both of us working full time plus all the normal parenting things, the time we thought we could use to do all those little jobs was tremendously less than what we imagined.

Do we look at the things that look great and we did ourselves and go ‘whoo-hoo, we did that!!!’ Yes! All the time and it’s lovely. Did it almost break us at many times and do I still look at things where small bits of work need to be finished and I just have zero energy left to do it? Also yes.

It was what we needed to do to buy property where we wanted to buy, but sheesh it will never ever be a highlight in the story of our lives.

I would only suggest full renovation if you have enough cash to live somewhere else the entire time, with that possibly being a couple years even, annnnnd the cash to burn in a campfire. Because whatever you price up as quotes will not be anywhere near what you pay by the time you’re done.

good luck!

CabernetSauvignon · 15/05/2023 08:29

£250K to do the "main works" will probably equate to £350K once you find all the pitfalls, redecorate etc.

I'd stay put and look for a dream house that isn't such a nightmare.

oliveandwell · 15/05/2023 08:30

If things were not as they are, interest rates etc, then I would say go for it. But it's just not worth doing at the moment unless you have a bottomless pit of cash.

We have not seen the true impact of inflation yet, so please do bear that in mind.

You're in a great position financially to weather this storm so might be best not to rock the boat.

Senseofnopurpose · 15/05/2023 08:34

Don't do it unless you have the funds and the total commitment to complete all the works very quickly. Otherwise prepare to see your children leave home before you've made a nice liveable home and you'll be left in a large empty house in your 50's when you may be thinking of downsizing!

frankgu · 15/05/2023 08:36

if it's 250k of work what does the house cost?

frankgu · 15/05/2023 08:38

what would heating bills be like & maintenance costs?

BodyKeepingScore · 15/05/2023 08:40

I would do it. But the last two homes we've bought have been serious "fixer uppers" - we knew that and made the concessions in order to have much more space and land. We have four DC, ranging from 5-18 y/o. It's definitely hard, but doable. We did a lot of the work ourselves in the evenings/nightimes. The kids pitched in when it came to the easy/fun stuff and we have some lovely memories of weekends spent plundering about working on them.
One think I will say is that it's important not to let it consume your life. It's important to carve out family time away from the project. Don't try to do it all in a matter of months. Make the property safe and liveable, but everything else can be done as and when you can afford it.

Atishoos · 15/05/2023 08:43

With the house you have you could convert the attic/loft and/or garage if needed for space. You could look into renting land nearby for your interests.

Cheerfulcharlie · 15/05/2023 08:44

I would do it provided you could afford a good 50% more than whatever the builder tells you. Sounds perfect sort of house for you! You are young to have your mortgage paid off, you are in a great position to do this.

fiftiesmum · 15/05/2023 08:46

Did you say you were hoping for older relatives to move in with you eventually. Unless you and DH have no siblings that would be a disaster - you get all the hard work and nothing but complaints from siblings

AnnaBegins · 15/05/2023 08:46

You say you've done some renovations in 2017 so do you have experience of project managing builders etc, and of the stress involved? If so, go for it! We like project houses but it does place stress on everyone.

whatwasIgoingtosay · 15/05/2023 08:47

Friends of ours have just gutted and renovated a huge historic property and did the whole thing in 4 months! They have children in middle and upper primary. But, they had the funds to do it, they have somewhere else comfortable to live, they are very experienced at this kind of property development and they were spurred on by wanting to use part of the property as a business and needed to meet urgent deadlines. Make sure you have enough funds in place if you go ahead - and don't plan any diy, get trades to do the lot or don't do it at all.

Likewhatever · 15/05/2023 08:51

I grew up in a house like the one you described and hated it.
I think there is a bit of a romance with these wrecks, but it will cost fortunes, will be really limiting for many years, and by the time it’s done your children will probably have flown the best

This is exactly what my DD would say. Apparently our house has been mentioned in therapy! Leaving that house was the best decision we ever made. Keep it as a dream OP, honestly it’s the best way.

Timeisallwehave · 15/05/2023 08:52

Being mortgage free right now is very beneficial given the interest rate rises.

neverenoughchelseaboots · 15/05/2023 08:52

It sounds very similar to what we did, but with a baby and toddler. We’re 5 years in, half the house is done and amazing. It’s hard work but we’re relaxed about living like this.

But, DH works harder and is more capable than anyone I’ve ever met. I can’t imagine it would have worked without his energy and tenacity.

Dibbydoos · 15/05/2023 08:56

I see so much risk aversion in the responses, it makes me wonder if people just get comfortable or have so little miney spare they cant conceive of improving their own situation so are reflecting that negativity on you.

That house will probably worth many £00s of thousands more than you'll pay for it and once you've sold your house, you'll be mortgage free again, so do it.

You've done a lot of work in your house whilst living there so you know how much stress that is. You also sound like rolling up your dleeves to do work isn't going to faze you.

Ref the DCs. Imagine what they can explore in a 1 acre plot whilst you crack on with work in the house. I'd get them to start thinking about how you should use the garden. They could have an area where they bring friends round with a building they can use when the weather's a bit crappy, for example, a flower garden, a veg plot, a play area where the trampoline and other play kit can go etc. Give them a budget to work with, get them to agree what they want to prioritise and spend the money on. Check at the end if each day on the progress they've made, add comments for them to think about in their next day on site. Give them skills today, don't worry about uni tomorrow. By the time your eldest is 18yo, uni might not be the vogue anymore because AI has started to take over certain jobs....!