Is this acceptable? Should I ring child services?

[JasonMomoasnextgirlfriend]

I’ve just found out that next weekend when he has our kids that my ex is planning on paying my 14 year old son to babysit his 11 year old sister whilst he buggers off to participate in a pole dancing competition (of all things)! I’m furious but I don’t know about whether other people would find this acceptable, or whether this is classed as neglect? Can anyone help?

good luck to him in the tournament! with a hobby like that he'd definitely not be an ex if it was me 😍

It feels weird to think of it as babysitting when there’s only 3 years between them. I’d just think of it as leaving them home alone for a few hours with the 14 yr old obviously more in charge, but really, what would he actually need to do for the 11 year old?

What's your problem with it exactly?

I babysat for a relative when I was 12 the baby was very poorly with whooping cough and asthma too! Although I wouldn't have left my own children in that particular situation I think a 14 and 11year old is fine as long as they don't fight like cat and dog and it's only a few hours.

I babysat for everyone in the neighbourhood at that age thankfully no one called social services how bizarre you think you need too.

14 and 11?
Surely they are both home alone regularly by those ages? What is your problem?

I guess you like to keep control and still fight with your ex but you need to let it go. It gets to a point where you just embarrass yourself. You will embarrass yourself if you kick off over this.

I’m a CP social worker and this wouldn’t remotely be on my radar unless there were complicating factors such as one of the children having additional support needs, them being left with no means of accessing help if they needed it, being left overnight. I’m assuming the 14 year old is usually responsible and level headed and your ex isn’t going to be home excessively late?

If something happens to either child your ex might have a case to answer but that’s assuming whatever happened was beyond the capacity of either child to seek help for or no help was available.

If it's just for an evening I honestly couldn't get to worked up over this as long as he's home by a certain time

I see no issues with this.

Dear God!

Is there a drip feed like the younger child having additional needs that makes it difficult to look after them ?

Are you annoyed about the pole dancing or babysitting ?

No it's not fucking neglect.

Neglect is a serious form of abuse.

Your child will be looking after a sibling.

Give your head a big wobble

I think staying home alone for a few hours is pretty normal at those ages.

As long as 14 year old is happy it seems fine to me. I used to babysit at that age.

I used to babysit strangers kids at 14...

Surely you aren't being serious here.

Something tells me the OP won’t be back!

Did you mean 11 month old?

Still think that's fine, but I can't imagine someone worry about a 11yo.

Dd was in a performance with pole dancing when she was 11yo. She loved it. It was about upper body strength, not being "sexy", assuming that's your concern.

I’d expect the 14 year old to doit without being paid but assuming it’s not overnight I think it’s fine.

Sounds like you're looking for an excuse to land your ex in trouble & your clutching at straws with this one

What on earth is the problem?

Or is this a reverse 🤔

I don't understand. What is neglectful here? Child services! Gosh!

My 14yo loves being left at home.

If you are not comfortable with it ask him to bring them to you and he can have them back next morning he can still pay 14 as it’s a bit mean not to once promised.