Ear phones when sleeping

[Diggin]

AIBU DH insists on having his ear buds on loud to help him sleep or get back to sleep if he wakes up. The noise is so loud it wakes me up. He says it needs to be that loud or he is straining to hear well enough to help him drift off. When I turn the volume down on his phone and he wakes up he goes into one and says I am being unreasonable and maybe he should just sleep in the next room! The sound is limited to 85db but with volume turned up I am sure he is also damaging his ears. He had a hearing check and the doctor said hearing wasn't bad enough for hearing aids but that was five years ago.

What sort of ear phones is he wearing?

Better fitting in-ear ones should mean he doesn't need them so load and also that the sound doesn't 'leak' so you can hear it.

I sleep in in-ear earbuds for similar reasons to your DH. My DH can't hear a thing. When I used to wear headphone-headband instead though, the sound wasn't going straight into my ear so I had to have it louder, plus DH could hear it.

That would drive me nuts

I have a speaker under the pillow. It's just about loud enough. Maybe I need a thinner pillow!

My partner sleeps with AirPods in and I don't hear them at all

I'm the same, I need to be listening to something to drift off. I listen to BBC sounds and use the sleep timer so it turns off and doesn't disturb DP. Perhaps he could do something like this.

He's being selfish to not find a compromise.

I use this. https://amzn.eu/d/e68D51I

Perhaps he could give it a try.

If he won't meet you halfway then maybe he should sleep in the spare room. At least that way you'd get a good night's sleep.