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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 3 pets is too much for a solo person?

73 replies

ojaynein · 13/05/2023 22:24

Hi, I am currently seeing someone and they have 2 cats and a dog. It's very early days, but was thinking about this (haven't been to his or met them yet). I have one cat myself which I personally think is plenty, I work full time but obviously living alone the company is nice, etc. I'm certainly not judging anyone's choices in a negative light but I suppose I worry about things like finances going onto it, is being restricted in what we can do if things progress etc. I

Is this something that would rule that person out for you? As I'm honestly considering going that route but don't want to be too quick because my first thought is "that's too much for just"

AIBU?

OP posts:

Sissynova · 13/05/2023 22:26

It’s a pretty arbitrary rule really but you can find any reason you want to not date someone.
Pretty weird to think finances are going to be so severely impacted by a dog and 2 cats.

Ponoka7 · 13/05/2023 22:27

Two cats can be easier than one, as long as you are prepared to pay the extra boarding costs. Dogs can be restrictive. You're starting to see stuff that makes you incompatible, don't ignore that.

pd339 · 13/05/2023 22:27

Wow

Frances24 · 13/05/2023 22:29

I would be more focused on whether or not you thought your lone cat could blend with their 3 pets if things progressed down the line and you wanted to cohabit.

I think as long as someone can provide for them adequately then they can have as many pets at they like

PollyPeptide · 13/05/2023 22:29

Unreasonable. I've had all sorts of permutations of animals. It never stopped me holding down a full time job, going out and having a good life.

Gymmum82 · 13/05/2023 22:30

No I wouldn’t say it’s too much. 2 single friends, one has 3 large breed dogs, one has 2 cats and a dog. As long as they have the finances or pet insurance in place it’s an odd thing to consider as a deal breaker.
I personally have 5 cats. Some might think it’s too many. I think it’s too few. One can never have too many cats

Bathroomlove · 13/05/2023 22:33

I don't think the pets are going to be the problem here, but I think you should stop dating him.

iwantabasketbag · 13/05/2023 22:33

I don't think it's too much, however it might be too much for you, if you're seeing someone with a dog, you may find yourself over his a lot, also does this work for your cat, if you're staying over his, you have to think who or how will you be able to be there for your own cat. I have two cats and I wouldn't date anyone with a dog in the first place because I can't see how it would work with my pets.

WunWun · 13/05/2023 22:36

As an elderly cat owner, someone having a dog does put me off. I love dogs, but I don't want to live with one again. I don't want one visiting my house and definitely don't want one shitting in my garden, even if it's picked up straight away.

Blackbutler86 · 13/05/2023 22:37

I mean I’m not seeing a problem here. 3 pets can’t cost that much unless they have medical costs on top of the usual food/toys etc. There are pet sitters, boarders or maybe friends/family if you want to go away anywhere. I have 8 dogs, 2 cats, 3 rabbits and a gecko. I also foster dogs for rescue. They cost me about £600 a month and if we want to go anywhere longer than 4/5 hours it’s a massive ordeal to get pet care but we still make it work.

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 13/05/2023 22:39

Yabu but at the same time, yes rule this person out as it doesn't sound like you are well matched.

Findyourneutralspace · 13/05/2023 22:40

This seems a strange thing. Does he cope with them? If he does, I don’t see an issue at all. So long as the pets are well cared for, it makes no odds if he has 1, 3 or 25.
Is that the only thing that’s making you feel incompatible?

Floralnomad · 13/05/2023 22:42

Wow , lucky my husband didn’t think like you @ojaynein as I had 3 horses and a Shetland pony when we met .

besyhgt · 13/05/2023 22:45

"I'm certainly not judging anyone's choices in a negative light"

Yes you are 😂 What's worse it seems like you're mainly worried they won't have enough money for you 😳

Atethehalloweenchocs · 13/05/2023 22:45

Yes, you are being very judgemental. And no, it is not too much. I have two cats and two dogs. If you thought that was too much for one person, you could f off.

BoxOfCats · 14/05/2023 08:47

I have two cats, does that make me undateable? 😂 My ex and I adopted them as kittens, they were jointly ours until he suddenly announced he had met someone else and off he went. Both cats are insured.

PetitPorpoise · 14/05/2023 08:52

Depends on the person. There are 'people with pets' and then there are 'Pet People'.

I wouldn't be with someone whose life revolved around a pet, and had no way (or willingness) to have the pet looked after while we did other things sometimes.

I am very much not a Pet Person and therefore would never get one myself.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 14/05/2023 08:53

I married a farmer, so am chuckling a little at your post.
A dog and 2 cats is really easily manageable. He probably enjoys walking and cats are probably the easiest of pets, being so independent (usually). I would judge if the pets weren't well cared for and the dog wasn't walked daily, or he had a working breed stuck alone in the house all day. If anything a couple of dogs would be better than just one if they are alone for long periods.

Dozycuntlaters · 14/05/2023 08:59

Blimey, I have a dog, two cats and tropical fish. I did not realise this could make me undateable. What a bizzare thought process.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 14/05/2023 08:59

I think you're being very odd!

Two cats is no more work than one and loads of single people have a dog (or even multiple dogs).

Why on earth do you think it's too much?

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 14/05/2023 09:00

I think your threshold is just lower than his in this sense. I was single with a child, dog, cats, pony & chickens whilst working full time and enjoying a good social life.

I just don’t think you’re that into him if this is problematic for you.

Greenfairydust · 14/05/2023 09:24

I would rule you out for being a judgemental person who thinks they can tell another grown adult how many pets they should keep...

You sound like hard work.

Butchyrestingface · 14/05/2023 09:27

I suppose I worry about things like finances going onto it, is being restricted in what we can do if things progress etc.

Tell me you’re a gold digger without telling me you’re a gold digger.

burnoutbabe · 14/05/2023 09:30

Well I wouldn't date anyone with a dog as I don't like them and don't like the tie
2 or 3 cats would be fine.

So it's the type of animal not the number. 4 hamsters would also be okay.

PetitPorpoise · 14/05/2023 09:58

Butchyrestingface · 14/05/2023 09:27

I suppose I worry about things like finances going onto it, is being restricted in what we can do if things progress etc.

Tell me you’re a gold digger without telling me you’re a gold digger.

Why is that in any way a 'gold digger' thing to say?

Pets can be expensive if you need to use dog walkers and boarding kennels etc. It makes simple things like a weekend away, or going to an event and staying overnight more complicated and more expensive. It takes spontaneity away from days out because you've always got to get back for the dog.

I wouldn't want my social life to revolve around an animal that wasn't even mine either. I don't think it's wrong to say that. If his whole life revolved around watching his football team for instance people would be saying OP was well rid.

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