to ask how do people afford all these things ?

[kermitspants]

Me & DH have a fairly good/decent income between us. What with the cost of living increases etc and general costs to run a house for 5 of us, we don't/cant afford to have many luxuries. I see FB posts with friends (acquaintances) who:

Were celebrating the coronation at home with Fortnum & Mason champagne & hamper

Purchased a brand new landrover as a gift for their wife for Christmas

Brought their DC a brand new car for their 18th

Pop up marquees in the garden with the biggest TV screen for friends to come over and watch England playing

Christmas and the gifts are ££££££ with some people taking the DC to lapland (in addition of the summer holiday they had) and buying top of the range gifts/food/hampers

Have the biggest Christmas trees (ours is usually around 5 foot and costs around £50 (real tree) which I thought was a hell of a lot of money for a tree). Goodness knows how much the bigger trees cost

New York trips for Christmas

My 'luxury' for Christmas food was a posh bottle of M&S prosecco for the table along side Tesco food. I splashed out on a £14 posh bottle of fizz for the coronation, and that was pushing the boat out.

Am I missing something here ????

NB - those who think I am jealous, need not reply.

Yeah it has managed to catch up with west well but
"Oh my. Our average house will be on par with slovenia" when talking about deprivation getting worse in uk is not really a compliment to Slovenia as people might think. 🙈
Quite a few of the post com countries are gaining really quickly on Western europe and already overtook some in gdp pc.

People always say 'oh they must be using credit cards' etc. on these threads. I mean really, some people just earn more than others.
Me and DP both have decent jobs and a decent income, we don't have kids (yet) so still have plenty of disposable income for meals out and holidays. Friends have commented on this and we just point out we don't have kids so it makes sense we can afford these things.

CREDIT. Duh

I think the real question here is, if you’re earning £100k+ annually, why are YOU finding things so tight? Are you frittering away small amounts all the time on small things that add up? Are you paying over the odds for a holiday and not looking for deals and different accommodation options? If you’re on that sort of salary a F&M hamper shouldn’t look so out of reach, right?

I can assure you that in my case, it’s not credit. I don’t know why people jump straight to this every time. We just have a high income.

Exactly. Those who say they earn over £100k but a £14 bottle of wine is a luxury… where is your money going? Do you have high mortgages?

Is this a joke? Women are overwhelmingly the primary caregivers. Of course it disadvantages women.

Everything is relative when it comes to how much people spend.

I’m sure others wonder how we afford what we do but it’s a mixture of canny decisions re investment/property at a young age leading to no mortgage and a steady income from rental property, cutting out things that aren’t priorities for us (eating out in expensive restaurants, luxury weekends away etc), having one child as opposed to several and family inheritance.

I appreciate our good fortune but I (not DH) have also really struggled financially in the past and so have seen both sides. I know what it is like to struggle and to see friends earning a lot more than you.

My advice is not to compare yourself to others, it’s futile as everyone’s circumstances are so different. Comparison really is the thief of joy.

I know a couple like you talk about here. Both of them are working. They have 3 adult children who are no longer living at home. She has a nice car and they have a house in one of the nicer parts of the town they are from.
They love taking holidays.
I was chatting to someone recently and they even said to me how can she afford the holidays, car ect with the current cost of living.

I found out recently they still have 10 years left on their mortgage. She mean while has loans over the years and still has one.
Her and her husband are now in their early 50's. She has some health issues. Her husband is in a physical job which will be harder as he gets older. At this stage they need to look at their income and make a plan to clear the mortgage as soon as possible. If they did this it would enable them to work less hours as they get older.

I can't see them doing this either but long term it would make their life easier if they did.

Some people are happy carrying a lot of debit say on a credit card or don't mind having a large car payment every month. Then other people don't want to be in debit. They will take debit on for X period of time say to change their car and own it fully after 3 or 4 year's.
They will have a mortgage but not gone for the biggest one possible on their income and are aiming to clear it before the end of it's term.

For some people they are willing to put up with short term pain for a long term gain.

If it's different people buying each of these things, they might not spending on all of them. So one person has an expensive car, another has lots of holidays, someone else has an extension - they don't have all of them. That could explain how they can afford it as they may only be spending more in one category, not all of them.

Credit, most likely. But also, they may have lower outgoings, different priorities etc.

This comes up loads and the answer is always one or more of the following:

• they earn more than you do
• they have fewer outgoings than you do (or just allocate their resources differently than you do)
• they have a different relationship with credit and/or debt than you do
• they have received help/gifts/inheritance from family which frees up disposable income

It’s that simple.

Someone asked me this a while ago. The hard, unvarnished truth is that 1) our income is way, way higher than they think it is, and 2) we benefit from family money (inheritance, access to holiday properties, etc). We don’t talk about either of those things, and we live beneath our means, so they wouldn’t know why we are able to spend on certain things like we do.

As an actual indication of where you fit in go here

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

It’s a basic tool and all it asks is income, council tax and dependant children. People have different expenditure, some is by choice and some isn’t so it cannot go in to the fine detail and it is just a rough indication.

I have always been careful with money, from poverty and a combination of both having quite decent careers, small family, investments making good, cheapish area for housing, being able to and enjoying doing a lot of our household upkeep such as saving 3k because we fitted our own kitchen.

I am in top 9% income wise.

@ColdBrewInSummer I agree some do look like they have money, I fly under that radar.

Three kids are expensive.

I assume they have more income, saving, inheritance or credit than you do and that is how they afford it!
We have 3 holidays booked so far this year and I'm hoping to take the kids to lapland at Christmas. I've been lucky with my job and salary and want to enjoy my time away with the kids while they are small enough. The money could probably be put to better use paying off my mortgage (which lots of other people would do) but I prioritise what I want!

Dh and I are fairly financially well off and I don't know anyone doing anything like you've described - maybe some people having a nice bottle of champagne from time to time. That's about it.

I suspect it's as simple as putting it on credit/going into debt or splashing out on that one thing. One of my dc has a friend, whose mum is a lone parent who works PT, (I don't know what she does exactly, but I suspect she may do farm work based on what's she's said/how she is dressed for school run, she only works in school hours as had no family help or other childcare). She drives a brand new Mercedes. Dh and I are high earners and I personally couldn't afford a Mercedes on finance, but that's because I already spend money on other things (mortgage, hobbies, etc.) I assume she must prioritise the car finance and they otherwise live quite simply. That's not a judgement, just an observation. I suspect that's the case for lots of people who spend money on that one thing that they really value, even to the point of going into debt in some cases.

That said, we have a nice house and expensive hobbies, and I imagine many people wonder how we afford those things too! I suspect we don't come across as people who earn what we earn, so people likely also make assumptions about us.

Different priorities … You have 3 DC which was a priority for you . Other families may choose fewer DC and more holidays . Some families choose branded clothes , others don’t .

Given the massive increase in house prices over the past decade, we are likely to see billions of pounds worth of inheritance trickling down over the next few years. Some of it may come from that.

I don't think she is.

When younger (& husband and I only had one child), we both occasionally wondered how others with more children and similar salaries/outgoings afforded more than us. There was no resentment and I didn't say so but I was in awe. I used to think we must be doing something wrong :-). In hindsight, we probably did but it doesn't matter now.

Op, I think you have to live with people to understand such things and none of us are going to do that. Please try not to think about it, we're all different. It isn't worth worrying about it and it sounds as though you have a decent enough life - good luck to you too, so you should.

I never understand why people don’t understand how other families afford things they buy. They either have more money than you, have different priorities, or are hugely in debt.

Earnings, choices, not being divorced and having to start again, savings, inheritance, gifts. Blown the pension.

Sold the house and are renting and spending.

Secret life earning big bucks.

Or photoshop

You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes, what their annual income is or expenditure or other factors.

examples of people I know

Im one of the few people who knows my friend is mortgage free, her family dosnt know and she dosnt want them to. Her, her DH & older kids have nice cars, house is nice, bought at a time prices were relatively low in the area, she only buys branded clothes and expensive makeup & toiletries. But will not spend money on food, she will buy everything in the clearance section and even out of date food including meat. She penny pinches absolutely everything else in her life to have the lifestyle she wants.

Another friend very similar, goes on holiday every couple of months, has a caravan in Spain she visits. She buys cheap flights and dosnt take luggage as she has clothes there. She only ever buys clothes from charity shops, eBay, vinted and car boot sales, she will wear it once and then on sell. She also only buys food from the clearance section of the supermarket. She actually knows each supermarkets delivers days and goes the moment she knows food will be going on sale.

Third friends, have loads and loads of holidays, school half terms and school holidays are packed with holidays and weekends away. Always in London for shows. Nice house, really nice house, lots of branded food & expensive wine. Trips to London and some overseas holidays they don’t pay accommodation as they use the husbands business accommodation, his company owns several properties, they can also write off a lot of his travel if he can connect it to business. They get free tickets to shows as perks from work, same with the fancy food and wine, lots of it is gifts or perks from work and clients. Their cars are claimed through the business.

DH & I would not be able to live as comfortable as we currently are ( no fancy F&M hampers, flat screens fancy cars) but we can afford an impromptu meal out or treat these days without breaking the bank. This is down to the perks and benefits from DHs current job. He has been able to claim back all his office equipment, including desks and furniture we get to keep if he leaves, we get a contribution towards electric and internet, his wellness allowance pays for his gym membership, trainers, bike, treadmill and other things we would not have been able to afford otherwise.

And then there are the people who are thousands of pounds in debt to keep up the image of their lifestyles.

I agree with this post. I earn quite a lot more than the national average salary, but am a single mum with two teenagers so my money gets gobbled up quickly each month. We do have nice things like holidays abroad and I recently got a new kitchen using a combination of savings and finance but I am also very careful with money. I have very little debt, a modest house and car and a low mortgage. I often wonder how people on jobs that definitely pay less than mine can afford fancy cars, holidays to Disneyland, getting swimming pools installed etc. I don't begrudge them that - couldn't care less about fancy cars, Disneyland or swimming pools, personally - but can't help wondering if there's some secret that I am missing out on! We're in a cost of living crisis, but a lot of people doing very average jobs seem to have money to burn. Owing money gives me sleepless nights, but I assume it must be something lots of people don't worry about (and they're probably right).

I don’t think the OP is jealous. I think she just wants to be told that everyone else is in masses of debt. And many posters have obliged!

My FIL get a fortnum and Mason hamper every year from work....we have a few bottles of fizz from them sometimes....they may have relatives who dish out a hamper or are well off.