AIBU to leave "ideal" job

[Nordicrain]

I have worked in my company for 13 years. In that time I have had decent progression and forged a career. I work a 4 day week in a senior "professional" job, and am relatively well paid. I can work from home as much as I likke, and I can basically do my job with my eyes closed. I have good benefits (car, private health insurance, etc). I get to travel to my home country with work once in a while so I can visit my family.

But I want to leave. I am paid less than I am worth IMO, my boss is impossible to talk to about anything like money or progression, the company is mainly men and has a rubbish gender pay gap. I think I am largely taken for granted. I just feel bored, fed up and disillusioned with it and struggle to see how I can progress from here. The last straw is a department restructure, where I am not demoted or anything, but not identified for progression either despite lots of great feedback, work achievements etc.

But I can't shake that I am throwing away the "ideal" job and I will regret it. Maybe I am just burnt out and a new job where I don't know what I am doing will just be worse. Has anyone done similar and how did it go? WIBU to walk away from a pretty cushty job?

It doesn’t sound like your ideal job?

It sounds like parts of your job are making you unhappy.

So, my recommendation would be to start looking at other jobs. Do some research for what you might prefer to do, look at companies on Glassdoor for what employees have said. Send some applications out and even go to the interviews if you get offered them. You don't have to accept the jobs if the interview doesn't make you feel the place would be a good fit. But then you'll have an idea what else is out there and what places might accept you if you did leave.

Agree above it's not your idea job, it's a convenient job. I recently left a job I loved for more money and convenience and honestly I regret it.

I find boredom in a job is worse than stress for my overall enjoyment.

Find something that will challenge you, and pays you what you're worth, hopefully then you'll find the ideal job :)

It's quite unusual for somebody who has stayed at the same job for 13 years to NOT be underpaid and undervalued. Companies like 'new talent' it makes them feel fresh and like they've got one over on their competitors.
You sound utterly stale and like you'd welcome a new challenge. Why not speak to some recruiters and see what's out there?

Sign up at an agency and make yourself available to work on your day off. You'll get to try lots of different organisations and environments while keeping your current job, but also many of the places you'll work will be desperate for staff and may well make you good offers to come on board permanently.
I've done this before, and am about to do it again.

What do you like about your job? Pay? Well you’ve already identified you are underpaid for your sector. WFH? If this is usual for your sector then nothing to worry about there-I would just have it written in on any new contracts as some companies are changing the goal posts now. Colleagues? They sound like dicks.

personally I would start exploring my options. Just because you see another job doesn’t mean you have to apply- and if someone offers you another job you don’t need to take it. But it would be good to understand your options?

I think it sounds like an "easy" job rather than an "ideal" job. Easy because you know them, you know how things work, and better the devil you know.

Have faith in yourself, and take the leap!!!

I suppose that's true. It's not so much ideal as very convenient.

I couldn't work somewhere else, that would be against my terms of employment, but I will start looking for something else I think. Like you say, i don't have to actually take another job if I don't think it compares.

Start looking around you might be surprised. Also with 13 years in one place even if you take the leap and it doesn't work out it really isn't the end of the world.

Big companies survive on the basis that many people are reluctant to change and take risks.

Plus I agree it sounds very far from "ideal"!

The pay is ok, the flexibility is great. I am established here and well thought of which makes my job easy.

I feel I was lead to believe there was a great career here for me, but as time goes on I am getting more and more sceptical about that as, like I said, I feel taken for granted.

I'd fully admit I am a coward too. I am scared to lose the elements of my job that makes me life easy! But yes, it's right that it's gone stale. And the smaller things are really starting to bother me a lot.

I think it depends what else you've got going on in your life and your priorities. For example, if you've got very young children and caring responsibilities for a parent, maybe the easy job is the right job for now. If not or you think you want to manage a new role regardless, leave. It always takes time and effort to establish yourself somewhere new, and the grass isn't always greener, but it may be worth it. I would just be picky about the next job, and make sure it's the right one, before leaving.

Agree that it doesn't sound at all like an "ideal job". It sounds like a convenient and comfortable job.

Yes you have some perks and flexibility but you're not being paid enough and your manager isn't supportive.

FWIW I think 13 years is quite a long time to have been in any job. Unless you are advancing steadily I don't think it's great to stay in a job this long.

I think you should start speaking to some recruiters and see what's out there.

I walked away from a similar type role 5 years ago for similar reasons and started working for myself. It’s definitely been difficult but I’ve made just as much money and don’t regret it for a minute. The loss of stability and safeness is made up by not dealing with company BS 100x over. I have freedom now and work on more interesting projects and feel more valued by my clients. Perhaps you’re not in a position to work for yourself but definitely look around for other options.

i mean heaps of jobs have remote and flexible working now - so find a better one!

it's not unusual to work 4 days or work at home

Nothing is ‘ideal’ about a woman underpaid and taken for granted in a male dominated workplace, where the boss refuses to talk about progression or a pay increase in order to close a gender pay gap.

You will definitely be underpaid if you've been at a company for 13 years- the quickest way to advance your salary is to move jobs.

It sounds like you're bored which is understandable after so long- if you think you can find somewhere with better pay and comparable benefits then I would make the move!

I jumped for much the same reasons two years ago and regretted it almost immediately. I missed my job. I moved again a year later and I'm much much happier again, but it took two job moves it certainly wasn't easy

Honestly this is part of what grates. I feel this is against EVERYTHING I believe in, and I am somehow complicit by putting up with it. But equally I am not prepared or motivated to take the battle about it here (mainly because where I have even tried before I was absolutely shot down and I can't be bothered with the greif it will cause), so I can't help but think I need to vote with my feet.

I worked somewhere similar. The boss was appalling. Actively paid newly qualified men more than extensively qualified and experienced women. He’d run away from me when I’d arrange meetings with him. Literally. It was astonishing. So I left. And I voiced exactly why in my exit meeting, to colleagues and to others in the industry who asked. It’s a very ‘networky’ business and fortunately, it only reflected poorly upon him.

I left my one and only job of 15 years back on 2021 and it was thr best decision I ever made. Yes it was scary being thr new person again and I had many sleepless nights but once I knew what I was doing I fit right in.

Follow your heart and look elsewhere. I too felt undervalued and couldn't move any further up the ladder. Was doing the same crap day in day out. My new place is completely opposite field and I love it

Good look @Nordicrain what ever you decide

Is it a case that the people who are seeing progression work 5 days a week and are in the office more, but the boss is maybe too scared to say that to a woman?
This happened to me: the male bosses were too scared to say anything for fear of a discriminatory claim. The first woman boss I had said it outright. I changed my working practices and boom, got promoted.

Just a thought..

If you have a skill (and it sounds like you do) then that kind of job is not unusual these days - I work for an insurance company and they've embraced work at home to the point that they're closing one of their two big offices and the smaller ones. I work 16 hours a week with no pressure to do more, lots of people do 3 or 4 days. If the kids are off school for some reason I can do my hours on a different day with no issues.
Career progression isn't a concern for me at the moment (I'd be doing more hours if it was) but I still get 3 monthly reviews to discuss what I want to do and how the company can support me. Pay is competitive.
This is my 4th job in probably the same amount of time you've worked with the same company (including 3 years of maternity leave), and each has been better than the one before. The last job I had definitely got worse the longer I stayed,and I think I stayed as long as I did due to a combination of fear and remembering what it was like when I started, when actually a lot of the things that had made it good weren't true anymore.
The point being you are not being unreasonable, and you should definitely put your CV on LinkedIn and see what happens.

Get another job and a good salary offer then go back to your current company and say you’d like to stay but can they match the offer.

Definitely see what's out there. Do you have a specific area of expertise? I'd imagine 13 years of experience would make you very employable elsewhere.

I've just moved after 5 years somewhere ( and after being passed over for promotion despite very positive EYRs etc). It was very freeing and nice to be wanted. I worked a 4 day week so whilst interviewing was clear with HR that I wanted to continue doing that and would ideally work hybrid 50:50. I got what I wanted, and a pay rise. I have the same amount of holidays and better health benefits now.

Sadly it's generally true that you need to move to get a decent pay rise.

I was you. But throw in a major restructure too. I've just changed job. It's early days and it is a shock to the system but I'm getting paid 40% more and working on more interesting projects. I think sometimes you have to make the move or you never will.