AIBU to leave "ideal" job

[Nordicrain]

I have worked in my company for 13 years. In that time I have had decent progression and forged a career. I work a 4 day week in a senior "professional" job, and am relatively well paid. I can work from home as much as I likke, and I can basically do my job with my eyes closed. I have good benefits (car, private health insurance, etc). I get to travel to my home country with work once in a while so I can visit my family.

But I want to leave. I am paid less than I am worth IMO, my boss is impossible to talk to about anything like money or progression, the company is mainly men and has a rubbish gender pay gap. I think I am largely taken for granted. I just feel bored, fed up and disillusioned with it and struggle to see how I can progress from here. The last straw is a department restructure, where I am not demoted or anything, but not identified for progression either despite lots of great feedback, work achievements etc.

But I can't shake that I am throwing away the "ideal" job and I will regret it. Maybe I am just burnt out and a new job where I don't know what I am doing will just be worse. Has anyone done similar and how did it go? WIBU to walk away from a pretty cushty job?

I haven’t read all the replies, so sorry if someone has suggested this. Can you not raise an equal pay grievance due to gender pay gap so they cannot fob you off? Maybe speak to Acas for advice. I did this in 2007 and won. Surely you stand a good chance in 2023. I had mine backdated and stayed at the same company for another 4-5 years.

I could have written this myself. I decided to go, was offered the first job I applied for at 50% salary increase. I’m currently on garden leave so only time will tell if it is the right choice but I think you regret the things you didn’t do/try more than the risks you do take. I am nervous though!

I could have written you OP. Perfect hours, good pay but always given a bit less than the men. Not valued, tken for granted.
I have just gave them my notice. Feel the change is needed after such a long period. Its difficult to grow otherwise.
I read somewhere that life is movement

This

I think I it depends on where you are in your career OP. If you’ve been in your first job for 13 years then it sounds like time to move on. If you’re further down your career path then there’s a lot to be said for “better the devil you know”. However, your description of how you feel suggests that far from being your ideal job it is just convenient and not satisfying you at all.
I had a job like that a few years ago, after having been made redundant a couple of times and I wouldn’t have left of my own accord even though I was bored stupid and had no career progression whatsoever!! The company made me redundant so I had no choice and I was terrified of not getting something comparable. I did though, in fact the job I have now is far and away the best job I’ve ever had. I’m getting on a bit now and hope to retire in the next few years. I’ve been with my current company for over 10 years and don’t plan to move on!!

This is me, except I’ve been at my co for about 5 yrs. No wonder I’m up at stupid hour reading this thread!

the reason I won’t leave is the people here, they are not as nasty as I’ve experienced elsewhere. My field is very operations and mgmt heavy which is full of arrogant, selfish and bitchy. Makes work less fun. So I’m choosing mental health over career ambitions.

Good luck with your search, if there is no financial pressure I would say take a leap of faith and try other organisations. Apart from Glassdoor reviews, my tip would be to network with some of future companies employees and see what their feedback is like.

You’ll never know the answer to that unless you make the leap. I did it years ago because of new management, takeovers etc but I never found a position where I enjoyed the work as much again. Don’t regret it though my life has taken many twists and turns because I’ve always gone with my instinct. I just prefer that to security.

Good luck OP. I hope you find somewhere that values you more. And if/when you do move, make sure that you have an exit interview and talk openly about the gender pay gap!

It's a tricky one because I am not being paid less than a man in equivalent position. But overall my company is hugely male dominated and that gets more and more pronounced the more senior you get. I am sick and tired of being the only woman in the room/ meeting. So I am not directly discriminated against as such, but it's a male heavy culture and - clearly - it's men who are being promoted.

This thread has been great food for thought though, so thanks.I am so risk adverse sometimes and I worry this huge focus on stability can really hold me back, so it is great to see lots of encouragement and positive stories about moving forward. I had my first interview this morning and loved the company, she has already progressed me to the next stage. I don't think it will end up in a job (mainly because it requires relocation), but who knows. If not it was a great dip into job seeking, and I have reached out to a specialist industry recruiter too.

I noticed that you said this: And while I think he will be a better manager generally, my existing manager will be his and still refusing promotions and pay rises. I was honest with a senior leader in the team and said I really struggled to see were I could go from here.

You have been in a job for a long period of time and you have a boss won't give you the pay rise or promotion you deserve. You said this to a senior leader so if you hand in your notice down the line they can't be surprised.
My advice is to start looking for a job and see what is out their. Look at the salaries, benefits ect and how moving job can improve your own situation financially or benefits wise.
Once the right job comes and you have a signed written contract I would hand in my notice where you are. If they ask why are you moving I would say why in a nice way.

The truth is that you have tried to speak to your boss about things and they won't give you a payrise or promotion so what do they expect you to do?
I know people who are staying in jobs due to various reasons but when the time is right for them they are planning to move on.

If you are NOT HAPPY then the job is NOT the dream job babe .. ❤️

I am about to move on after 6 years and in that time have recognised out of sync my salary is with the industry (gender pay is less of an issue where I work). I have managed to secure a 40% pay rise and additional benefits, yet maintain a flexible/compressed work week which I was told I wouldn't get elsewhere.

I would urge you to look at other opportunities in your industry and know your worth! You don't have to jump at the first thing but keep your options open! Best of luck!

I could have written this. It’s the ‘flexibility’ trap…. I’m in a similar situation. Jobs easy but there’s not much scope for progression. I’m bored mentally but I’m scared to leave because I can balance it with my life.