To be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

[Rainfull091]

I get really bad plaque which embarrasses me and so haven't been since 2020. Probably been booted off the books as well. How do you overcome the embarrassment? My dentist does judge as well, not in a critical way but still says it's bad which makes me feel really ashamed.

How do you overcome the embarrassment?

Surely it’s worse to go around with terrible plaque on your teeth? Not only is it visually awful but it’s ruining your teeth and gum health.

Well, it's only going to get worse if you don't go. They're telling you it's bad because it is - plaque is awful for your teeth and gums long term.

Once they're cleaned you should be able to keep things under control by flossing and brushing properly twice a day. It's important to stick to it and keep your appointments.

To reassure you I'm the same, I have seen my dentist since lockdown but their hygienist suddenly only either 9-3 and no longer Saturdays or late nights so I've not been, I'm sure I'm due another appointment but nothings gone through yet so suspect I've been struck off
I can see I have plaque and want it gone but hate my dentist who bought the practice a year before lockdown. I did or g he's struck me off nhs as not had an appointment cone through yet

My favourite patients are the ones who actually care about things like tartar, which are comparatively minor. I have plenty who don’t care about totally rotten infected teeth.

Please don’t let it stop you going to the dentist. We have to do the ‘lecture’ bit about prevention or we could end up getting sued! And plenty of us don’t floss every day and get tartar buildup that the hygienists clean for us.

You could always get a ‘direct access’ hygienist appointment first if you can afford to go private.

I didn’t go for nine years once. After a few years I was embarrassed to go as I assumed I would need a lot of fillings and that the dentist would be able to tell that I hadn’t been for ever. In the end I needed zero fillings so all the worry was for nothing.
If she says anything just politely give her honest feedback that she’s worsening your dental health with her attitude.

Dentists will have seen this before and will understand some people find it really difficult or traumatic and embarrassing. But they really have seen everything and won't judge you. Try to be brave and book an appointment. You'll feel so much better once you've go over the initial worry.

And that dentist above proves why I am best off avoiding them! Dentists are almost as judgey, cold and indiscreet as hairdressers. I've always been unattractive and I've always absorbed the side eye and gossiping. I just can't face it anymore. I'd literally rather die.

I plucked up the courage to make an appointment but I'm so nervous.
Very embarrassed about the tartar build up and definitely need at least 3 fillings and possibly an extraction. I just hope they aren't horrible to me. Feel bad enough as if is.

The dentist above was really nice and literally explained why they have to give you the “lecture”?

I’m sorry you’ve clearly had bad experiences but that’s hardly going to help the OP and I also really don’t think a dentist is going to care that you think you’re unattractive, they look at hundreds of people’s faces a day most of the time sitting their with their mouths open dribbling!

Why ever would you think they'd be horrible to you? It's their job to look after teeth...that's what they do. If they tell you you should look after your teeth better they're not being horrible, they're giving you their professional opinion.

They are there to help with all of the above, and will have seen all the same things from other people. Don’t be embarrassed!

I am on methotrexate and been on steroids long term. My teeth as well as my hair have suffered hugely.
I just hope they understand that and don't judge me too harshly. Already feel quite ashamed. I brush twice a day but clearly not good enough.

Op I completely feel for you. I have huge dental phobia and had a hygienist appointment last week. I'd had nightmares, a few tears and sleepless nights about it. I was convinced I had gum disease and was losing my teeth. I emailed to make the appointment and said how incredibly nervous I was, they then passed it on to the dentist so that they were aware.
It turned out to all be absolutely fine, he lectured me (gently) about flossing and and cleaned my teeth up beautifully. Honestly, just do it, as my 7 year old son told me 'things will only get better if you go' and he's right, you're making the first step in the right direction. You can do it!!

That’s great that you booked your appointment well done! Hardest thing to get is started.

I hope they’re lovely to you and help rebuild your confidence. Once any treatment needed is done you will have a ‘blank slate’ that will be much easier to keep on top of.

Don't forget you have to fill in a health declaration, with a list of medications. Your dentist will know that medication is a contributing factor in this case.

I didn't go for almost 20 years, I was completely terrified. Ended up being referred to the dental hospital because they were so bad. The dentists at my local practise and the hospital were lovely, although that might be because I was crying in the chair and could barely speak because of how terified I was/am.

Why did you have to go to a dental hospital @slashlover if you don't mind me asking.
I am very nervous but it has to be done. In the past I have had fillings, crowns and root canals but the idea of a tooth extraction really frightens me.

The problem is dentists the more you lecture the less we want to come and see you. So the lectures don’t work.

I understand OP - I go regularly now but got told off in my 20s I didn’t go for about 6 years.

I’ve finally found a dentist that doesn’t lecture so I go more regularly. Though the hygienist gave me a lecture and I haven’t been using the tooth things she told me to, so now I’m putting off going again.

I had to get LOTS of work done and some of my teeth had literally crumbled. They had to do the extractions in four appointments and did a quarter of my mouth each time, the total was in the teens. I was also given gas because of how much of a wreck I was, it was just over a year between referral and first appointment.

I hate going to the dentist and recently went back for the first time since 2020. My dentist always talks to me like I don’t brush my teeth but I’ve never not brushed them. I don’t know why mine are so bad (not plaque but cavities) because I’ve always looked after them. He even said he was surprised my kids have great teeth when mine are so bad. It really puts me off going.

I was the same, except it was probs 10 years since I was at the dentist 😭 I get v bad mouth ulcers and it totally put me off going in case there was any tip of an instrument and I ended up with more. And then as time went on was mortified and like you afraid of what they’d say - I was so convinced I’d need every tooth pulled I was looking up flights to turkey to get them replaced 😂 but I went and I only needed 2 fillings, moral of my long story is that it’s never as bad as you think it’ll be, half an hour and it’ll all be over and you’ll save yourself so much time and hassle and money the sooner you go - it’ll be ok!

Don't be ashamed OP, it's what dentists are there for. You probably need to see the hygienist too and they will help sort out your plaque build-up and gum problem :-)

Me too. I’ve always brushed my teeth. Use an electric toothbrush don’t eat sugar/sweets. Have had lots of fillings. Husband brushes his less/ for less time, he avoids dentist, goes very rarely yet no fillings. I’m the one who doesn’t look after my teeth apparently.

Some people just have stronger/better teeth than others. Yet dentists don’t seem to acknowledge this.

Yes, my sister rarely cares much for her teeth, only brushes once a day, no issues.
With me, always brush twice a day but always have issues 🙄. Yet I am the one who gets lectured to by the dentist.

Please go..I didn't go for 20 years. Finally had enough of abscesses and plucked up courage to go. Once you get that initial visit over and have a plan of what needs doing, you will be relieved. I go to my appointments...still not keen but I know it's for the best. Sending reassuring hugs.