To be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

[Rainfull091]

I get really bad plaque which embarrasses me and so haven't been since 2020. Probably been booted off the books as well. How do you overcome the embarrassment? My dentist does judge as well, not in a critical way but still says it's bad which makes me feel really ashamed.

Dentists aren't there to judge you, though they may try and give you guidance on good oral hygiene which can sound judgemental.

I hadn't been for 4 years and went last week. I need 3 fillings (on wisdom teeth) and have a broken filling that needs repairing.

I'm annoyed at the situation, but never even thought to feel embarrassed to be honest.

I've always had weak and overcrowded teeth.

My teeth are very close together, so that just brushing isn't enough to keep them plaque free.

Regular use of a water glosser has been a game changer for me. Dentist told me to leave a whole year before coming back.

Once your teeth have been 'scraped and polished' I'd really encourage you to start water flossing. And use disclosing tablets occasionally to check that you are using it correctly and really stopping any build up of plaque in its tracks.

Absolute game changer for me.

I don't know how its got so bad on the back teeth. I guess I'm not brushing back far enough. Very embarrassing.

Honestly @Rainfull091 its not embarrassing! It’s just one of those things. In the nicest possible way the dentist won’t care at all - they aren’t going to go home and talk about it! You’re one patient in a day. Don’t stress x

Thanks all. Will update when I can

Really starting to panic now. The appointment is on Friday.
Plaque keeps falling off some of the tooth. Makes me feel so disgusting.
I brush twice a day but it looks like I haven't even bothered.
I'm sure there will be a few fillings and an extraction at best. 😔

The longer you leave it, the worse it will get. They will always have seen worse so please don't worry.

I find the lectures totally counter- productive. In fact they just made sure I didn't go near a dentist for 10 years and triggered a huge phobia.

I've just left a practice I've been with years as the new hygienist insisted on lecturing me about my (non existent) flossing. I've been avoiding dental floss for 60 years and I'm not going to change now*. The previous one understood that and just got on with doing what needed to be done

She also insisted on talking at me through the session even though I told her I didn't need or want to know what she was doing as I'd be using deep relaxation techniques to cope and talking directly to me makes it almost impossible to maintain the correct meditative state.

My new dentist and hygienist are lovely. No lectures.

*I have all my teeth (bar my wisdom teeth) and 4 fillings. Not bad for a child of the 1960s!

Aw, don’t worry about tartar fall off, maybe means your brushing is dislodging, so less to be removed?! My dentist says I just have some sort of saliva that means I get more tartar more quickly, especially where saliva pools overnight. I brush twice a day and now use interdontal toothbrushes (unless you do flossing perfectly, interdontal is better) and things are a bit better now. They see it all, and will have seen worse, honestly. You’re doing the right thing, and it’ll all be over so soon and not as bad as you worry. Let us know how you get on!

@Rainfull091
How did the appointment go?

Find another dentist especially if you’re paying! NHS is obviously a lot harder and you might just be stuck.

I broke a tooth and I am terrified of the dentist. Found one who supposedly deals with nervous patients….she was horrible! And she accidentally hit me in the head 3 times with her chair. She then told me the tooth needed to come out and she’d have to cut into the bone 😳😳 I walked out and cried. It had taken a lot to get me in there in the first place.

So I panicked and left it a few weeks, and the tooth got a lot worse. I ended up at an emergency dental clinic last weekend and it was a completely different experience. I was having a full blown panic attack when I walked in, they got me a drink to calm me down, talked me through it all. I was sent through to see an oral surgeon, who was the nicest man, he kept me calm through the whole thing even though my stupid tooth broke up as it was coming out. So I’d say go to a couple of dentists if you can and see who works best for you.

It isn't until later on this afternoon. I am terrified.
I don't know how I will react if he says I need an extraction or lots of fillings
😞

You will be okay @Rainfull091! xx

@Rainfull091 deep breath. Remember it’s your body and you choose if and when it needs to be done. Take his advice and then go home and think about it a bit before you decide what to do. I’ll be thinking of you!

@Rainfull091
Hope it wasn't as bad as you were expecting.

If it makes anyone feel better -

I ended up with really bad gum disease during pregnancy and lost a lot of bone in my jaw - literally went from zero to bone loss in 6 months

my dentist is so lovely and told me not to feel too bad

apparently 20% (ish) of the population have a gene which means they are likely to get gum disease if they don’t look after their teeth/other factors. They can be really sensitive to any change in brushing etc. The other 80% could not look after their teeth at all and would be much less likely to get it.

I mean it sounds a bit suspish to me and I did wonder if he was just trying to make me feel better…. But it worked 😅

And after 18 months of some really intense treatment my teeth look great - there is SO much that can be done!

Really hope it went ok.

and absolutely yes to the lectures. The lectures don’t work - all the do is make us feel judged, embarrassed and like we are being told off.

I now have the kindest, most empathetic dentist I’ve ever had and she’s just wonderful. My teeth are a bit of state but her kindness, patience and empathy means that I’ve kept my appointments and actually got the work done.

she said she’d had a filling, a crown and a tooth extraction and she herself was scared even though she knows the theory behind the work so she said she gets it.

do I judge her as a dentist for needing work done? Absolutely not, her lived experience gives her empathy and patience. And now I’m getting the work done

How are you OP?

How are you op?? I completely feel your pain and have also been putting it off, I really need to book an appointment. I had a lovely dentist who just did what needed but he retired during covid and then my new one made me feel awful and even the hygienist tried to get me on denplan and mentioned whether o was going to have another baby or not.
I wouldn’t mind but my teeth really aren’t that bad and I don’t have any fillings etc

Most dentists haven't caught up with their backlog yet. I'd fake it, make your appt and apologise to dentist that you haven't sen one since 2019 cos of the pandemic

You could always go to a dentist that isn’t a complete dick, if you can find one. The one I have now is lovely.

Also if everyone has perfect teeth they’d be out of a job 😊

Sorry it has taken me so long to update.
I didn't need anything done but he did say that the plaque build up was really bad. When I said I had trouble cleaning because of the RA, he asked 'Why?' which then made me feel self conscious. He said I need an electric toothbrush but can't afford it right now especially as he has booked me in for the hygienist next week which I am really scared about. More judgement no doubt and £70 for the privilege. I find it so painful too so am very worried.
Thanks for all the support x

You don't need a fancy electric toothbrush, don't let the dentist try sell you one or recommend something for £100, you can get good oral B ones for £20 x

Well that’s good news so far! No actual dental work is a definite win.

Electric toothbrushes do make it much easier. My new (nice) hygienist suggested interdental brush heads for me as a substitute for flossing too as I don’t ever do that.