To be embarrassed about going to the dentist?

[Rainfull091]

I get really bad plaque which embarrasses me and so haven't been since 2020. Probably been booted off the books as well. How do you overcome the embarrassment? My dentist does judge as well, not in a critical way but still says it's bad which makes me feel really ashamed.

OP, I have the utmost sympathy for you as I’m terrified of the dentist. But, and I mean this kindly, you seem very sensitive. His comments aren’t personal, he’s doing his job. You know the plaque isn’t good, he isn’t telling you anything new. You don’t need treatment, which is fantastic news. Don’t fear the hygienist appointment. I plucked up the courage to go a couple of months back after about three years 😬 I can’t say I enjoyed it but it wasn’t as bad as I thought and my teeth felt sparkling afterwards. Good luck 👍🏻

Please go.

my weird bupa dentist exceptionally quite kind - last time I was there early 2023 - the second neat repair of front teeth in 2020 but he did it, not as straight and dainty as before surgery when broke but still effective today.

i regret saying no loose teeth January 2023 but knew no better.

Hygienist appointments are less scary. Your teeth will feel amazing after. It doesn't hurt. Good Luck

I was a dental nurse a million years ago (well 1992 ish). One patient who sticks in my mind... a gentleman affected by thalidomide. He had no arms or legs. He cleaned his teeth with a manual toothbrush using his foot. He had AMAZING dental hygiene

I still use a manual toothbrush 🤷‍♀️

Flossing is important. Floss everyday.

If it helps, I had this toothbrush for ages and it comes with loads of spare heads so you don't have to worry about cost of replacing for a while. It still works fine, I just upgraded on a Black Friday deal

Electric Toothbrush, Rechargeable Power Toothbrush with 8 Brush Heads, Sonic Toothbrushes 40,000 VPM with 2 Minute Smart Timer, 5 Cleaning Modes with Teeth Whitening, Gift for Family, Black amzn.eu/d/4Rae0rH

Also I know people judge it but I use zilch sometimes to spread the cost of stuff (it splits it into 4) and it doesn't charge any fees on Amazon

I understand where you are, I have really bad plaque on my teeth as well that has caused bone loss and gum recession.

My teeth were really bad and in May after 5 years and plucking up the courage to go. I have some photos of my teeth and they were disgusting.

Anyway one dentist visit, nothing major apart from 2 sessions with the hygienist and my mouth is different.

I was told to get an electric brush which were on offer at £29 at Tesco and they had some compatible toothbrushes for 4 for £2 on an end.

He just embarrassed me and made me feel unhygienic. I made it clear I was embarrassed so he should have just left it there.

But it’s his job, op. Unless he said anything unprofessional I really think you’re taking it too personally.

I went through a period with really bad plaque too. My dentist suggested cleaning every 3 months instead of every 6 and managed to stay on top of it. Electric brush helps for sure. If you can’t afford it there are cheaper battery ones that are better than the manual in the meantime

Honestly I think it's a dentist thing
I saw the hygienist and felt like I never brush my teeth. I actually brush, floss, use interdental brushes, gum gel and a water flosser but I swear they act as if I've not brushed them for a year!

The dentist in my town tut-tutted and heavy sighed and was generally unpleasant. I put up with it because he was local.

Then he bought two homes next door to one another, knocked them both down and built one gigantic house, right on the main road where everyone would have to drive by and see it.

That was what got me - the greed, the avarice, the flaunting behaviour.

OP, once you've had the plaque removed by the hygienist, can I suggest that you buy some plaque disclosing tablets, and use them regularly so that you get to realise just how, and where you need to brush more. All they do is turn any plaque on your teeth a reddish pink colour, which you can see in the mirror when you brush. Once the red/pink colour has gone, so has the plaque. It really is quite simple, and even if you can't afford an electric toothbrush, it will help you to get to grips with where things have gone wrong in the past. I would however, strongly recommend getting a cheap electric toothbrush, someone else suggested one with a link further back which was only about £20, so with that and disclosing tablets, for about £2.00 from Boots, you could well save yourself both embarrassment and money, as you won't need to see the dentist or hygienist so often, although always better to go for regular check ups, and no, I'm not a dentist! lol

Look if everybody's brushing and flossing and water picking was impeccable dentists and hygienists would be out of business. The dentist makes money by fixing damaged teeth. The dental hygienist makes money by cleaning tartar and what not off teeth. They are simply like tradesmen/persons providing a service. They don't have some special moral sensing compass or something. I go through periods of getting extra tartar and I once got a talking to from a dentist for my tartar and I go to a dentist hygienist every six months! The next appointment he told me I was overbrushing. Every time s/he starts just think to yourself, this is his/her job. My current dentist is lovely and calming though.

For what it's worth, I found getting a filling or crown worse than an extraction. I had teeth extracted for orthodontic treatment and they turned out to have double roots! My son had four teeth out for braces too and he was dreading it. He said it was much less painful than getting a verucca burnt off his foot and straight afterwards insisted on going to the shop to buy his promised "reward for being brave". Strangely he had double rooted teeth too. It was very quick and you are all numbed up.

A lot of people think they're being lectured when really, the dentist is just doing their job and pointing out that they need to do a better job of cleaning their teeth if they want to keep them. Trust me, a little embarrassment is better than the endless toothache, root canals, crowns, bridges etc that will fill your life if you don't pay attention!

Well you've been, it's not as bad as you thought and you've been given advice by the dentist. The hygienist will make a massive difference.
As others have said, electric toothbrush and disclosing tablets going forward.

But what I and others have been saying is that the lectures do not work…

All the lectures I got (after asking him not to) just resulted in me not visiting a dentist for 10 years. The recent hygienist has lost her practice a paying client. Pretty poor way of doing your job!

Do they really not think we’ve heard it over and over again and I’m not going to change my behaviour whatever they say.

....what? What on earth has his house got to do with OP being nervous about the dentist? I don't think buying a big house and flaunting it by it being - gasp - on the road has anything to do with being worried about being told off for not flossing.

So I had pretty much exactly the same experience you described! Finally plucked up the courage, booked a dentist appointment because I knew I had a lot of plaque. They told me I didn’t need any work done, I had a lot of plaque, generally made me feel naff, and in the end didn't really do anything at all, just told me to book to see the hygienist.

But the hygienist! They are a 10/10 for me. The first appointment was, admittedly, a bit pants. I won’t lie. But I was clear that I was a bit nervous and felt pretty embarrassed about the state of things and they were so, so nice. Offered numbing injections if I needed but in the end we got by with a bit of gel on the inflamed bits. Did a really thorough job and made recommendations.

Like you they recommended an electric toothbrush and I held off until Christmas sales to get one. It doesn’t have to be all singing and dancing but it really really does make a difference. I’ve had noticeably less plaque build up (as in barely any) compared to using a manual toothbrush.

And the nicest thing about the hygienist is that they remembered me and was so chuffed with how much better things looked since my previous visit. Now I just see them every 6-12 months rather than going to the dentist because she’ll let me know if I have issues that need a look at.

Everything crossed that you have a good hygienist that will offer the same excellent experience and support! :)

Wtf has that got to.do with the OPs fear of the dentist.

Most dentists are actually nice humans, and while they would have preferred to see you sooner they will also be glad that you are there now, to get treatment.

They do have a job to do and I don’t think they can just ignore what’s going on in your mouth and not say anything because you’re embarrassed! It’s great that you went and don’t worry about the hygienist either

I was literally thinking the same thing😂 I was so confused reading that!

My dentist is a Russian grandmother . She has expert level guiding powers. So my new game is to try and get through an appointment with fewer ‘hmmm’ and ‘tttutt’ and ‘oh dear’ each time. I’ll never walk out with zero and it’s becoming an amusing game to me.

I think it was the time when she praised me for very little plaque and in the same breath told me I was brushing too hard against my gum line that I knew it will never happen. When I said, “well I guess I can’t win” and she patted my arm and said “No dear, you can’t”

She is an amazing dentist and is the best dentist I’ve ever had. I’m a little afraid because she’s semi retiring and I’m going to miss her when she fully retires.

Guilting not guiding.