DD is 25 and wants to study veterinary medicine in Europe!

[SouperMario]

Hello,

DD is 25. She has worked in politics/journalism since she graduated uni. Most people in her position I think would be very pleased with how their career is going, but I think she has become disillusioned with it all and she wants to change career.

Ever since she was little she has adored animals and wanted to become a vet until she turned 16/17. She regrets not following through with this dream and now claims there is nothing else she wants to do. She still lives at home (because she cannot find accommodation in London that will take her pets 🙄).

She cannot afford to study in the UK as she is not entitled to any government funding. She recently inherited 40k from my father and has announced she intends to use this to fund her studies abroad in Eastern Europe and become a veterinarian. She can just about afford it but she will use up all of her savings as well as her inheritance.

Am I right in thinking she is mad to consider this? I wanted her to use that money as a deposit for a house in the near future, if she goes ahead she’ll stand no chance at saving up a similar figure in my lifetime. By the time she graduates (if she actually does) she’ll be 32 and at the early stages of her career - will she be giving up the chance to start a family?

I might be overthinking this, as she hasn’t even been accepted. She’s just at the very early stages, that being said, she is incredibly stubborn and if she wants something, she tends to work until she gets it. I just think she will be making a terrible mistake if she does it.

But I would advise her to talk to some actual vets and spend some time in practice first.

This is key.

There is nothing wrong with making a career change at her age. But for such a significant change in terms of specific focus & duration, and that she will use all her savings, it's important that she is sure that this is what she wants.

I know someone who just qualified as a vet in Bulgaria and another one who is about to start her studies in Romania. Both are English and were taught in English but are/will be qualified to work as vets in The UK for a fraction of the cost. One actually trained as a Dental Nurse before changing direction in her early 20s.
However, I do have a few vet friends and DD works there in the holidays and it’s a very stressful job with long hours for not as much money as you might think, suicidal rates are high.
Would she consider a vet nurse degree or degree apprenticeship?

Would she consider something like becoming a farrier?
Specialised , can work self employed
In demand
Working with animals

She is only 25, not dead. Of course she can change for a career she loves. Don't be a twat.

A friend of my was a vet and had to leave. She was fine with consultations, dealing with people, etc. But in the practice she worked, operations were allotted a set amount of time. She was meticulous and did a greatv job for the animal, but she was too slow. She's was constantly under pressure to speed up. But she felt to do that, she'd risk compromising the quality of outcome. So she had to leave.
In my job I worked with a lot of vets. It's not always the fluffy, positive, heart-warming job that you might think.

Around £16 per hour for an employed vet who's been qualified 5 years. (40 k for a 48 hour week). Vet employers usually don't offer any extra perks either - no gym memberships or private healthcare. Often only the legal minimum pension, sick pay. Enhanced maternity pay is just starting to become more common.

It's not that much for someone who's got a 5 year degree.

On the other hand there's a huge vet shortage currently, and I don't see that changing in the next few years, so she should have no trouble finding work

I did my degree at 43. 25 is nothing, she has plenty of time to establish herself in a career and have property and babies if this is what is important to her. Its her life, and if you want to remain part of it, be loving and supportive of her choices.

What made her change her mind at 17 when she was thinking about University choices

Let her do it, it sounds like she has a plan. Also you’re implying at 32 Luther life will be over and she will have given up the chance to have kids… it’s all a bit dramatic really.

She sounds motivated and determined. And it's a respectable job!

I just think she will be making a terrible mistake if she does it.

FFS it's her life!

I wonder if you've limited your options in your life, and deep down you are either scared or envious of her courage & determination.

It sounds like a great plan.

I’d urge her to get some proper work experience at a vet first. If she does this and is still happy I’d wave her off and hope for the best.

I understand you want her to use it for a house deposit as it’s so difficult to get into the housing market but honestly I think she’s being very sensible in investing it in her future.

Does she have to pay it all at once or is it a yearly fee?

It would be better if it’s yearly as that way she can drop out and not lose as much money if she doesn’t like it.

Are her and her DP even thinking about kids yet?

If this is concerning you you can mention it but I’m pretty sure she’s thought everything through, she is a grown adult and seems intelligent.

Um how much does it cost to store embryos... if she is that concerned about children
I think it might be a good idea to volunteer at a vets to get some insight about conditions
And look at the course and feed back from students

Stop interfering and start supporting. She is 25 and it’s ridiculous to say changing career might sabotage chances at a family and children. There is no point using money to buy a soulless pile of bricks if it means you are going to be unhappy in how you spend 1/3rd of your life.

I agree with the PP about getting some veterinary experience.

Vets do not get paid that much considering they train as long as doctors and it’s a very challenging job.
Its not enough to just love animals.

High earning career without the politics and her life. She is 25 not 55. She is funding it. You know a lot less about this than you think.

Very kindly, you need to let go. This is her life. Give her all the love and support she needs.

She's 25. She cannot spend the rest of her life miserable in her job.

I was going to say the same thing.
If it's really what she wants to do and it takes 6 years of study then better to do it sooner rather than later.

It's not a silly idea in principle, and vets, doctors, and dentists are all quite common as train abroad options, but if I were you I would be encouraging her to research it fully before making a decision: try to get a shadowing placement with some UK vets (general city pet vet, farm specialist, equine specialist if you can find one); sit down and look at salaries, career prospects, obviously check whether her chosen course is recognised in the country she wants to live in afterwards and, if not, what the process is to register there ... etc. Having said all that, she's 25 and it's her money, she can do what she wants with it.

Assuming she does her due diligence it sounds like a sensible plan to me. Journalism isn’t exactly a career choice that is expected to increase over her working lifetime. Veterinarian appears to have a shortage in the outlook.

She's an adult and this is her inheritance and savings, so this is her choice. It sound like an exciting adventure and she's following a passion! Be excited for her.

Quite apart from the fact that you don't get a say, consider what happens if she doesn't do this. Does she stay in a job that she doesn't enjoy, and leave it because she is looking for something else, but later, when it is even harder and she perhaps has children and a mortgage? And what does your relationship look like if you oppose the move and she regrets it?

I know two women who changed careers way older than your daughter. One was my mum (trained as a teacher mid 30s) and another a friend who changed career from nursing in her 50s. Both very happy.