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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be in the pub on my own with a pint, a cake and a book?

93 replies

Workyticket · 07/05/2023 18:13

Dh and 2ds' are at the match. We're going to a family house party near the ground after so I came into town shopping.

Forgot it was Sunday and that the shops shut early - and to be fair, I'm shit at shopping and got bored quickly

I bought a book and am on my 2nd pint (but 1st cake)

Text a pal and she thinks I'm weird and should have gone to a coffee shop instead of the pub!

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 07/05/2023 23:36

Good for you OP

I must confess, I go most places alone but haven't tried a pub yet. Do you get a lot of blokes trying to chat?

Original poster
Workyticket · 07/05/2023 23:36

Loving all the pint / cake debate!

I also had a pot of pork scratchings (classy! 🤣)

You know what - I loved it! When I was in my 20s I'd stand outside of a pub shivering waiting for friends in winter (I'm up north - we didn't do coats!) rather than go into a pub on my own. Feels really silly looking back!

OP posts:
Original poster
Workyticket · 07/05/2023 23:37

EmmaEmerald · 07/05/2023 23:36

Good for you OP

I must confess, I go most places alone but haven't tried a pub yet. Do you get a lot of blokes trying to chat?

None! I'm 45 though - the perfect age for being invisible

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 07/05/2023 23:46

I've been trying to work out what to do now DD is a teen and doesn't want to chill with me at the weekend. Cider and cake sounds like a winner.

There's a pub near me Dickins used to write in on his travels and it is the cosiest pub in the winter with the fire on and deep leather chairs. They used to have antique books behind the bar you could put a deposit down for and read.

echt · 08/05/2023 03:30

Workyticket · 07/05/2023 18:13

Dh and 2ds' are at the match. We're going to a family house party near the ground after so I came into town shopping.

Forgot it was Sunday and that the shops shut early - and to be fair, I'm shit at shopping and got bored quickly

I bought a book and am on my 2nd pint (but 1st cake)

Text a pal and she thinks I'm weird and should have gone to a coffee shop instead of the pub!

Your "pal" is tiresomely projecting her own hangups onto you, i.e. I wouldn't/couldn't do it, so you are by definition wrong.

Good on you. The more women do things like this, the better it will be.

Tarkan · 08/05/2023 03:51

I love going to pubs on my own. The "old man" type ones are my favourite as I never have to queue for the loo even if it's only a single one. Grin I'm often the only woman there but I've never been hassled by anyone. I don't tend to read a book though, I play Pokémon Go or just scroll MN or FB on my phone and people watch. Smile

DifficultBloodyWoman · 08/05/2023 05:08

Enjoy!

I’m a little bit jealous.

BarbaraofSeville · 08/05/2023 06:42

Workyticket · 07/05/2023 23:33

Yeah - we're over 40 so should be in coffee shops not pubs on our own apparently!

Show quote history

But coffee shops don't sell cider (usually).

From another 40 something solo female pub goer.

Although DM and DSis can't get their heads round me doing this. They're with your friend, it's something they would never do.

Abracadabra12345 · 08/05/2023 06:57

I am away for a couple of days and you've inspired me to do this rather than a coffee shop!

deplorabelle · 08/05/2023 07:13

Workyticket · 07/05/2023 23:29

I am - I'm a Mackem!

Show quote history

So am I 🙂 but we moved when I was really little (and Mackem wasn't even a word in those days...)

EsmeGythaMagrat · 08/05/2023 07:18

You go on to say you’re a Mackem but Sunderland play away today… don’t say DH and the kids go to watch the black and white ones up the road?!?! (Clutches pearls) 😂😂

Anyway YWNBU going to the pub, hope you enjoyed.

Original poster
Workyticket · 08/05/2023 09:12

EsmeGythaMagrat · 08/05/2023 07:18

You go on to say you’re a Mackem but Sunderland play away today… don’t say DH and the kids go to watch the black and white ones up the road?!?! (Clutches pearls) 😂😂

Anyway YWNBU going to the pub, hope you enjoyed.

They're staunch Geordies! DH has been a season ticket holder since he was 15 - he's taken a ship load (see what I did there? 😆) of grief for marrying a Mackem!

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 08/05/2023 09:17

We're on AIBU and the replies are far too reasonable, why has no one mentioned all the calories or the alcohol or whatever

Funkyslippers · 08/05/2023 09:20

Nowt wrong with that and you'd probably be hard pushed to find a coffee shop open at that time anyway. I had to take my daughter ta concert few years ago so I went to the local Spoons and had a glass of wine and read my book

CelerEtAudax · 08/05/2023 09:46

Substitute "pie/pasty" for "cake" and I'd be with you in a shot OP.

BIWI · 08/05/2023 10:04

Back in the day, when I just starting out in advertising - early 1980s - one of our clients was Allied Breweries, and we went on a pub visit in Glasgow. (I fail to remember now why we had to go all the way up to Scotland from London, but it was obviously important at the time.)

One of the pubs we went to, women weren't even allowed into one of the bars!

Thank goodness things have changed now. Although @Workyticket it does sound like your pal is stuck in the last century.

Desperatelyseekingcommonsense · 08/05/2023 10:06

Like Pp I’m completely against cider/cake combo but pub/ pint/book and a toastie sounds like heaven.

FrogSplash · 08/05/2023 13:48

I'd be all in for this. Can recommend a pint of Guinness with a big slab of chocolate fudge cake.

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 08/05/2023 13:51

Workyticket · 08/05/2023 09:12

They're staunch Geordies! DH has been a season ticket holder since he was 15 - he's taken a ship load (see what I did there? 😆) of grief for marrying a Mackem!

Show quote history

I've no problem with cake in the pub but I can't support a mixed marriage like that. It's not right.

AdoraBell · 08/05/2023 13:52

YANBU. I would prefer coffee but if you like a pint or 3 it’s your choice. Hope you enjoyed your “me” time.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/05/2023 13:53

When I'm Queen of the World, it will be compulsory for every pub to sell cheese and onion toasties.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/05/2023 13:56

I can remember when a woman wouldn’t go in a pub without a man in case she was assumed to be a prostitute, but I assumed we’d moved on in the last half century.

NellyDElephant · 08/05/2023 13:57

I went to the pub, alone, and ordered a glass of wine and sat at the bar (I was an hour early to collect my DC from their Dad, I thought a nice little local village pub would be a warm, cosy place to wait rather than sitting in my car in the cold)
The loud comments from the man at the bar, with his family, also there having drinks “she’s been stood up” “look at her, she’s been stood up for her date” etc etc
I was so embarrassed, I finished my drink and went and sat in the car. Clearly, a woman cannot go and sit in a pub by herself!

SisterMaryLoquacious · 08/05/2023 13:57

I really can't get past the cake/beer combo.
Pork scratchings were the better option. Personally I'd have gone for a bowl of chips.

AuntieMarys · 08/05/2023 13:59

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/05/2023 13:53

When I'm Queen of the World, it will be compulsory for every pub to sell cheese and onion toasties.

Oh yes!!