The strangest thing you've ever taken home?

[Simonlebonbon]

I'm sure plenty of us took traffic cones or the occasional pint glass home once or twice, but what was your strangest?

Mine was a pig.
He needed homing (or he was due to me put to sleep) and I wasn't able to say no so I brought the fella home.
Had him 6 months until a proper home became available for him.
People would come into my house to find the dog just lying on the pig. Didn't tell people prior to this I had a pig, just because I liked to see their faces when he trotted in 😁
He wasn't massive, but "micro" definitely not!

@OliveWah

Oh that gave me such a chuckle - thank you x Fortunately he did have his undies on too 😅

My Dad (worked at the BBC) once brought home Oliver Reid. I was about 10.

They got quietly drunk at the kitchen table, Oliver slept on the sofa and left in the morning!

He brought home other randoms occasionally but that was the weirdest!

Was it possibly Barnsley? I live between Wakey and Barnsley, and Barnsley has got an amazing punk oompah band.

Roadwork lamps
Hanging baskets
A pub kettle
Several traffic cones
A round pub barstool
A round pub table with cast iron legs
A 3 seater garden bench, again with an iron frame
About 200 beermats
Many, many pint glasses and big ashtrays
Several drunk young men
All on separate occasions and many years ago. I only have one item left - one of the drunk young men, who is now a reasonably sober middle aged man.

Fossilised dinosaur shit. I found a lump of it in a field.

Frumptarn Guggenband are still going strong! Epic at festivals http://www.frumptarn.com/

A guillemot. Walking home from pub, through town ( not a seaside town ) with my flatmate, we saw what we thought it was a penguin waddling infront of us. We were very drunk. It looked lost, so we took it home and stayed up all night with it watching telly, eventually got through early in the morning on the phone to a bird sanctuary who collected him. We had an update a week or so later, he was a guillemot who was released into the wild successfully. No idea how he got into the town, probably hopped on a delivery truck they thought. Weirdest night ever.

How did you know it was fossilised dinosaur shit and not just a lump of rock? (Genuine question!)

Also, I’ve learnt from my son’s book that it’s called a coprolite! <proud> 😂

I had a massive road sign that I and my housemates carried back one night. Bloody heavy.

A life size Bradley Walsh cut out figure thing is in my house at the moment. Yeah.... I don't know either.

These are fantastic 😂

Robert

I have both Henry Cavill (a Xmas present!) and the Queen (a prize at Drag Bingo) hidden in my closet right now...

An African Grey parrot. DH and I went to water our allotment and take the dog for a walk after a hard day at a friend's funeral and found it tied to a tree up the hill in the centre of town near the allotments at about 9pm. Tied with a proper reef knot. We took it home and put it in a dog crate overnight with a yoghurt pot of water and a yoghurt pot of sunflower seeds that I thankfully had in the cupboard. I had a random piece of dowling leftover from making my sister's wedding cake that I managed to make a perch out of. kept apologising to the poor parrot that the dog crate was barely big enough for it. I told it repeatedly that the vets would have better accommodation for it when I took it there in the morning. Got to the vets in the morning and they were in fits (they knew me quite well and that was exactly the sort of thing that they would expect from me). Although they were utterly insistent that he couldn't possibly have been tied and his string must have tangled up. Then they went through the back and then came back and asked if they could borrow my crate as they didn't have a place suitable for the poor parrot to go. The SSPCA came and collected him and put a piece in the local paper. Amazingly his owner contacted them to say that he had taken the parrot out for a walk 3 days before I found him a few streets from where I found him and he had been bombed by seagulls and the bird got a fright and flew off. Nobody knows where he was for the 3 days. My suspicion is somebody found him, took him home and then discovered that he was quite good at giving you a nip if he wasn't impressed by something and took him to the tree and tied him up. Which sickens me as he would not have survived the foxes and gulls long had we not found him. Impressively said parrot apparently spoke 3 languages.

I dragged a solid single bed base home when I was a drunk student. Made a great coffee table!

Me too! Was it the bloke who murdered Joanna Yeates?

A camel’s pelvis

Seriously? You made a habit out of stealing stuff on nights out?

One of my friends stole a vibrator from an Ann summers party. She was pretty drunk!

Duestothedirt absolutely.

A camel’s thighbone

@ifIwerenotanandroid me also 🤣 had visions of a full sized taxidermy gorilla in my head!

I went through a phase of ‘borrowing’ labelled glasses from bars. They had Southern Comfort, Jack Daniels, John Smith, Stella Artois etc emblazoned on them. I still have some in my cupboard to this day 😳 it was over 25 years ago. Not sure what sparked the drunken kleptomaniac in me.

We’ll be able to make the whole MN camel skeleton if this thread carries on 🐫🩻

Jim Tavaré

A 7ft cardboard cutout of Borat in a mankini when I was a drunk teenager 🤦🏻‍♀️