The strangest thing you've ever taken home?

[Simonlebonbon]

I'm sure plenty of us took traffic cones or the occasional pint glass home once or twice, but what was your strangest?

Mine was a pig.
He needed homing (or he was due to me put to sleep) and I wasn't able to say no so I brought the fella home.
Had him 6 months until a proper home became available for him.
People would come into my house to find the dog just lying on the pig. Didn't tell people prior to this I had a pig, just because I liked to see their faces when he trotted in 😁
He wasn't massive, but "micro" definitely not!

My friend who is sadly deceased found a Adult only enjoyment tool at of all places a Ukip office
that he used to frequent at times,

A washboard - one of those wooden frame things with a corrugated metal sheet. It was in a pile of junk at the end of someone's drive - I think they were clearing the house - and I needed one for work (producing a play), so I took it.

I have found at my local weatherspoons pub restaurant, whilst enjoying hot chocolate beverage ☕️, back then, often used to have,

I found a knuckle duster...

Not me but my brother came home after a drunken night out with a papier mache figure of Policeman Badger that he had nicked from a Tufty road safety campaign. (This was in the early seventies). That thing was about 5' tall and 4' around his very rotund belly, my brother kept it in his very small bedroom for several months. Never knew what happened to it.........

I bought home some 4ft cardboard cut outs of the hobbits. They lived in my lounge for a couple of years.

I really wish that I had a pig! Was he easy to care for?

Mine was a classic car. Don’t judge!

A puppy when I was about 7 or 8 (manybyears ago!). We found some boys chucking a sack in the river. It had puppies in, 3 if I remember. Me and my friends all took one each home. She was about 3 weeks old the vet said and we fed her SMA milk in a bottle. she used to go everywhere with us in my mums jacket pocket and then when she got bigger inside the actual jacket. I remember my mum getting chucked out of Sainsburys when a member of staff spotted her.

I went to the cinema once and after we'd watched the film, we noticed the staff taking down a Toy Story display. I asked for and was given a huge Buzz Lightyear cut-out which lived in my apartment for a few months before moving to my parents' house.

Oh and one time we brought home a random Australian backpacker who was about 18 and had come to town for a few days and couldn't find a place to stay. She stayed with us and we called her parents to let them know she was safe, they then sent us a thank you card for looking after her a couple of weeks later.

Not me, but my adult children -

A natural pest control chap who needed a safe place to park overnight with his van full of birds of prey. They got talking to him in the pub and invited him back to our large dilapidated shared rental house which had concealed parking and a huge garden.

Opened my bedroom curtains on a Sunday morning to see about 8 gorgeous birds being given their breakfast, all sitting on their little hoops pushed into our lawn (which was no prize so not a problem).

I actually closed the curtains, convinced I was hallucinating and opened them again, proper cartoon style.

Then I said to my DP "You're not going to believe this....."

Ten minutes later we're in the garden being introduced - it was magical.....

Sadly DP died last year, and one of the loveliest photos that pops won Facebook is him nose to nose with a kestrel, squatted down in his dressing-gown with his signature New Rocks poking out underneath.....

Ex husband 😅

@MistressoftheDarkSide - I had to google "New Rocks"; I thought you meant his gentlemen's bits were poking out the bottom of his dressing gown! 😁

A video recorder, a rice cooker, a brand new mattress in cellophane and enough carpet to recarpet our flat. "Us" being a flat full of year-round postgrads/mature students, and the spoils being things abandoned by undergraduates leaving town at the end of the academic year.

A skateboard. I found it once when out with dd. It was in a car park. I didn’t take it straight away, waiting some time to see if anyone came crack for it. Dd kept it on the garage for a few years until she outgrew it.

My violin teacher found a chicken that had fallen off the back of a lorry and took her home - but couldn't keep her and gave her to me - we eventually found her a home with other large hens as we were scared she might kill our bantams if she got annoyed at being the bottom of the pecking order.

I did have an interesting school run one day - took DS to reception and found a lovely staffie by school - very friendly. Managed to get someone else to take DS in to school and took the dog home (DH working from home) and he was relegated to the kitchen / safe garden, with our dog in the other part of the house until the dog warden managed to pick him up.

A mannequin head and torso! He became our new pal for the night.

Not home but to school. Walking to school with my mum when I was about 6 and a tiny little brown dog began following us. We chatted to it a little but mostly tried to ignore it so it would wander away to its owner.

But it kept trotting along beside us. "What if it follows me into school, Mummy?" I asked. "Oh, it won't, don't worry." She replied.

It did follow me into school and down the corridor and tried to join me in my classroom. It was, of course, swiftly ushered out again and my mum was in trouble for allowing me to bring my dog in. Not sure anyone believed we'd never seen it before.

Sadly, I never found out what happened to it after that.....

A tortoise found up a hill in the Cheviots. I was about eight years old, leaping from stone to stone down the hill and thought, that next stone looks like a tortoise. So I didn't land on it. Then it moved! Lived with us for a few years.

A stray polecat (although I thought it was a ferret). It was running about loose in my neighbour 's front garden and the neighbour was too frightened to approach it. There was no way of identifying an owner, it was years ago so no Facebook or Twitter. We took it to a local rescue who correctly identified it as a polecat and said it was underweight so had probably been loose for a while, the poor thing. A friend of a friend ended up adopting it

A ‘German‘ oompah band ( actually all from Wakefield of all places) In full costume. After a very drunken night in the pub where they were playing.

the pub shut and we — band, hangers on and pub regulars all decided to carry on the party

A pigeon. More than once actually.

Found one a mile from home in a rural area. Loads of feathers missing, unable to fly. Kept it in the shed recovering a few days but it was killed by a rat.

Found another a mile away from home in the city. Picked it up, took it back to halls, and put it far up in a hedge. Fed it and gave it water. Recovered a few hours later.

I'm waiting for pigeon no. 3.

A bar stool. And a disco ball.

2 separate drunken nights out in my youth.

A married man! Told me he was single and during sex he broke down in tears about guilt for his wife! Most bizarre night of my life

You might like this:

https://www.estherthewonderpig.com/