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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Strip club on stag do

58 replies

preemi · 06/05/2023 10:25

Just that really, and I'm sure other threads have been done in relation in the past.

Always thought I wouldn't be bothered. Now DP is due to go off on a stag where they're attending one. Apparently I'm not as cool with it as I thought.

What's everyone else's stance on it?

OP posts:
Gtsr443 · 06/05/2023 10:28

As long as I don't have to know about what they did/saw I don't care.

Battlecat98 · 06/05/2023 10:31

I wouldn't like this at all. I am sure I will be told I am uptight. I wouldn't do it to my husband either. What can he do though? I assume he wants to go. What does he say about this? Is it something your husband would like?

MsMoney · 06/05/2023 10:31

I wouldn’t be happy.
It’s ok to expect your DP to not go to a strip club.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/05/2023 10:32

My husband wouldn’t go.

Didimum · 06/05/2023 10:34

Big no from me. My husband would decline and if he wasn’t the type to decline by himself I’d let him know it’s a dealbreaker.

Original poster
preemi · 06/05/2023 10:34

@Battlecat98 just that it's a novelty for a stag do and all 20+ of them are going. Doesn't think it's a big deal

OP posts:
JamSandle · 06/05/2023 10:34

It would be a no for me and a deal breaker.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 06/05/2023 10:35

I have made it clear its a deal breaker, I wouldn't stop him, but it would be the end of us.

DH isn't interested anyway, he is very much a TERF as am i

Mama05070704 · 06/05/2023 10:35

Wouldn’t bother me unless he paid for a private dance

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 06/05/2023 10:37

preemi · 06/05/2023 10:25

Just that really, and I'm sure other threads have been done in relation in the past.

Always thought I wouldn't be bothered. Now DP is due to go off on a stag where they're attending one. Apparently I'm not as cool with it as I thought.

What's everyone else's stance on it?

Partner went on stag do when this happened (not planned), him and few others decided to not follow, some did go. I would not have been happy either.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 06/05/2023 10:37

It's completely normal not to want someone else to rub their tits in your partners face. And be in somewhere where people are paying to touch womens (who are often teenagers, and generally think the men are twats) bodies. I've seen the no touching rule broken a few times.

If he is so cool with it see how he feels about you asking Dave down the road to see his dick for a tenner

BatshitCrazyWoman · 06/05/2023 10:38

Ah yes, let's celebrate my forthcoming marriage to a woman I'm lucky to have by looking at other women naked 🙄

I'm not okay with it, I think it's tacky. If I was married (I'm not anymore, thank fuck) I'd be disappointed, and would hope that he would decline and go and have a drink somewhere else.

Hiddenvoice · 06/05/2023 10:40

I’m not okay with it. My dh didn’t understand the big deal at first so I said I was going to pay to have a man grind on me and then go into a private room with him for some extras. He soon realised that he wouldn’t be happy with me doing that. He refused a stripper/ strip club for his own stag and didn’t go with some friends when he went on another stag. Instead he sat and face timed me from the pub 😂

Soontobe60 · 06/05/2023 10:43

My DH wouldn’t go!

Petrarkanian · 06/05/2023 10:46

My husband wouldn't go, he has brilliant principles and isn't afraid to stand by them.

Qilin · 06/05/2023 10:54

It's a big no here.
Dh agrees fortunately and has already skipped one on a stag do he went on. He just said he wasn't going and wasn't the only one. The groom went with some of his friends.
Dh and a couple of the others blokes went for a curry instead. Just not their thing at all. Should have been another one with them but he fell asleep in the hotel and slept through from about 7pm instead - he had a very new baby back home!

It's never been something dh is interested in but certainly since having a daughter it's cemented his view. I've never liked it and don't feel it should be normalised as something men do in a night out.

blahblahblah1654 · 06/05/2023 10:56

I wouldn't care. My husband would try and avoid the strip club if possible anyway. It's not his cup of tea.

Qilin · 06/05/2023 10:56

Ah yes, let's celebrate my forthcoming marriage to a woman I'm lucky to have by looking at other women naked 🙄

That's one of the things I've never got. Why is is seen as something grooms do before getting married? Celebrating being joined with a women they presumably love by watching other women strip,or perform lap dances for them. It doesn't really make sense!

Geordie01 · 06/05/2023 11:03

DH went to one on his and I had a stripper on my hen so could hardly say anything 😂

BarbedButterfly · 06/05/2023 11:04

It would be a deal breaker for both of us. The last night of freedom idea is nonsense. He has also said how awful it was when a friend had a stripper to his bachelor party. She was naked and rubbing herself all over him and trying to get him to lick cream off her. The wedding was called off.

Start by talking to him.

Doggymummar · 06/05/2023 11:07

My first husband came back from his stag with lipstick on his penis and I love you written on his stomach in red lipstick. I kicked him out. His mum told me I was being unreasonable and I let him back. We had a very happy marriage for 10 years but I thought it was a low blow.

Tailfeather · 06/05/2023 11:09

My husband has been on stag dos and a number of them have opted out of the strip club part and I have much more respect that they stood up to the peer pressure. (Although many others told their wives and girlfriends that they hadn't gone when they did).

Geordie01 · 06/05/2023 11:13

Doggymummar · 06/05/2023 11:07

My first husband came back from his stag with lipstick on his penis and I love you written on his stomach in red lipstick. I kicked him out. His mum told me I was being unreasonable and I let him back. We had a very happy marriage for 10 years but I thought it was a low blow.

Im absolutely gobsmacked that you were told YOU were being unreasonable!!

happypoobum · 06/05/2023 11:13

I wouldn't marry someone whose idea of fun was going to a strip club.

But to be honest, that's irrelevant. It's how you feel that is important. It sounds like you don't feel your views are valued or important.

Beautyhoard · 06/05/2023 11:14

Doggymummar · 06/05/2023 11:07

My first husband came back from his stag with lipstick on his penis and I love you written on his stomach in red lipstick. I kicked him out. His mum told me I was being unreasonable and I let him back. We had a very happy marriage for 10 years but I thought it was a low blow.

Holy shit!! You married someone who cheated on you on his stag do?!