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Original poster

Strip club on stag do

58 replies

preemi · 06/05/2023 10:25

Just that really, and I'm sure other threads have been done in relation in the past.

Always thought I wouldn't be bothered. Now DP is due to go off on a stag where they're attending one. Apparently I'm not as cool with it as I thought.

What's everyone else's stance on it?

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 06/05/2023 11:15

Geordie01 · Today 11:03
DH went to one on his and I had a stripper on my hen so could hardly say anything 😂”

The perfect couple.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 06/05/2023 11:17

My DHs soon to be daughter in law had a hen do which I went on, she had a stripper and I sat outside in the hot tub while they did their thing inside.

Totally grossed me out.

TheGuv1982 · 06/05/2023 11:20

Despite me being pretty clear it wasn’t to be on the list of activities…guess where mine ended up?

It was grim. I escaped after 20 minutes, which turned out well because apparently the “entertainment “ was to be dragged up on stage so I avoided that.

Shoxfordian · 06/05/2023 11:21

Wouldn’t be thrilled about it either tbh

CheersForThatEh · 06/05/2023 11:21

Urgh, strip clubs are so stupid.

Hey wife-to-be, I wannabe go and look at tits all night, maybe pay to get some rubbed in my face. But I dont want you to grind all over a dude on your hen night or get your tits out and rub up on another man. Cool?

The double standards are what piss me off to be honest.

SinglePonders · 06/05/2023 11:27

Nope, nope, nope.

I would not want to be with someone who thinks going to strip clubs / paying for sexual whatever, is okey.

Sex work belongs in the dark ages and I am a progressive person.

It says so much about the person who goes into these places.
And no, I do not believe that ’boys will be boys’ and this is the best women can hope for when it comes to men.

Tailfeather · 06/05/2023 12:37

But we are not only talking tits. Fully nude lap dances with legs akimbo on their laps/in their faces.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 06/05/2023 13:13

I would not be happy about this at all but most men who do go on stag do's and say oh I stayed in my room or went for a curry so did not see lapdancers are lying, most of them, am sure or hope there are some good men out there. Gross that someone is getting married but first have to have women naked all over them and they pay for it. Am happy am single. But now it is stag weekends and trips abroad and not just a stag night.

Backtobed · 06/05/2023 13:16

If my DH went to one he'd be told not to bother coming home after.

IrregularChoiceFan · 06/05/2023 13:18

I would pay to be a fly on the wall of my partner in a strip club. He'd absolutely hate it but would be an awkward fucker in the process not knowing what to do whilst trying desperately to be polite it would be a very funny sight.

ohblush · 06/05/2023 13:23

You both have to be 100% on board, obviously. It's a sexual service. I don't get this attitude 'oh but I'll have to put up with it just this once, it's tradition!'.

Err, no it isn't and no you don't.

HRTQueen · 06/05/2023 13:27

Why should you be ok with it

Paying for a person to sexually excite you is a grim way to have a bit of fun

Tinkerbyebye · 06/05/2023 13:28

I wouldn’t like it, and in fact would be very unhappy if they went

to me it’s exploitation (and yes I feel the same about male strippers)

MintGreenLife · 06/05/2023 13:33

I wouldn’t be particularly bothered. I’m guessing it’s not his stag, so he probably doesn’t have a lot of say in what goes on. As long as he behaved respectfully towards the women at the strip club it’s just part of a stag do I suppose, doesn’t mean I don’t find strip clubs a bit gross etc, but I wouldn’t be upset about my husband going to one on a stag.

MintGreenLife · 06/05/2023 13:34

IrregularChoiceFan · 06/05/2023 13:18

I would pay to be a fly on the wall of my partner in a strip club. He'd absolutely hate it but would be an awkward fucker in the process not knowing what to do whilst trying desperately to be polite it would be a very funny sight.

Haha, I can’t imagine my DH being majorly awkward too!

Doggymummar · 06/05/2023 13:42

Geordie01 · 06/05/2023 11:13

Im absolutely gobsmacked that you were told YOU were being unreasonable!!

Show quote history

Ah the 80s were different. I was raging.

SunnySaturdayMorning · 06/05/2023 13:45

No it wouldn’t bother me 🤷‍♀️

Qilin · 06/05/2023 13:49

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 06/05/2023 13:13

I would not be happy about this at all but most men who do go on stag do's and say oh I stayed in my room or went for a curry so did not see lapdancers are lying, most of them, am sure or hope there are some good men out there. Gross that someone is getting married but first have to have women naked all over them and they pay for it. Am happy am single. But now it is stag weekends and trips abroad and not just a stag night.

Why assume all these men are lying rather than assuming they simply have morals which mean they don't consider seeing young naked women as entertainment?
I trust dh to have told me the truth - infact I know he was anyway as I ended up having to call him due to his grandad becoming ill. He was exactly where he said he was, and definitely not lying and really going into a strip club.

Ime a lot of men simply don't consider strip clubs to be their choice of entertainment. Dh really would rather go and play gold, have a few beers and finish the evening with a curry. He isn't unique in our friendship groups.

Certainly as dd has got older he finds the idea even worse. Many of these young women are barely out of their teens.

TheaBrandt · 06/05/2023 13:56

Dh is an adult he can do what he wants but I would find it utter cringe and tacky if he chose to go and I would wonder if I really knew him.

The only stag he went on where this happened was one I made him go on as it was my friends Dh one he didn’t want to go anyway. I got constant texts about how shit it was as it was in a rough town the going to a strip club was the last straw Dh and a few others didn’t go to that bit.

PomTiddlyPom · 06/05/2023 13:57

I wouldn't like it. But I don't need to worry about DP. He barely knew how to touch me, let alone a strange woman and the one time he got dragged to a strip club with his mates he couldn't escape fast enough.

I wouldn't mind maybe burlesque, or if it was a proper show. I'm a pole dancer myself and did enjoy Magic Mike so it's hypocritical of me to deny him. But strip clubs.. they aren't there for the artistry are they?

CarpetSlipper · 06/05/2023 14:00

I wouldn’t be with someone who had such a massive sense of entitlement and lack of respect for women.

Megifer · 06/05/2023 14:02

Dealbreaker for me I'd have no hesitation to end it. Being a Hippo about what goes on in these places (wallowing in de Nile) isn't my thing.

Ahsoka2001 · 06/05/2023 14:06

Depends whether he gets a private dance or not surely?

flutterbyebaby · 06/05/2023 14:07

It's all very slimy and grubby really.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 06/05/2023 14:14

I think it's grim and firmly believe that men who feel likewise should simply stop going along with it. My stepson got married a couple of years ago and I was invited to the stag which was to be in Amsterdam. I declined the invitation and explained to him my reasons why - strip clubs, sex shows and hash cafes simply not being aligned to my values. Turns out it was really the best man's idea and my SS wasn't that keen either but was just going along with it. I got a call a few days later to say the venue was being changed to a UK outdoor pursuits centre with a pub crawl after. I was very proud of him.

If your husband thinks it's OK to ogle other women performing naked then I would seriously question his morals. If he isn't OK with it but can't find the backbone to decline the invite I would question his strength of character. If he thinks the sex industry is just victimless, harmless fun then I would question his intelligence.