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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread bank holidays?

103 replies

Nellie8 · 06/05/2023 07:24

I wish we didn't have bank holiday weekends. I've got 2 pre school kids and family stuff I have to go to.

I just like our routine and I like my job and I struggle with bank holiday weekends. It just seems too much time to fill. The noise is constant. My mum is difficult and expects certain things. My 4 year DD is very full on and often has mini meltdowns. She just wants to watch screens or she is so hyper (think loo rolls being run about, her emptying the washing machine, stuffing food down the back of the sofa).

I just feel I should be all positive about not having to go to work but I miss it.

Am I being an old misery guts?

OP posts:
MichaelAndEagle · 06/05/2023 08:47

I don't really look forward to them i must admit.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 06/05/2023 08:50

I think they should be spread out more but honestly some people are so miserable.

Smoky1107 · 06/05/2023 08:50

I love them, a four day week at work and some time with my teens

Quitelikeacatslife · 06/05/2023 08:53

I think you need to see your mother only one of the days and negotiate one of the days split with your DH, you take kids in morning and he does afternoon, I think you need couple of hours on your own

sotiredandburntout · 06/05/2023 08:53

I don't work Mondays anyway so it's just a normal week to me!

mycatsanutter · 06/05/2023 08:56

Can you go out for the day minus your mother so your dd can run off some energy ?

roarfeckingroarr · 06/05/2023 08:58

I loved them until I had a toddler and a tiny baby and now I resent losing £300 on childcare for nothing this month and not having the quiet Mondays with baby in our routine.

tiredhadenough · 06/05/2023 08:59

Totally ridiculous that they've chosen the month where we have two already to shove a third in. Would have been more appreciated in a different month!

I do get you though. When my children were younger and my husband often worked bank holidays it was always challenging.

Batalax · 06/05/2023 09:00

A four year old shouldn’t be pushing boundaries to that extent. Perhaps have a read of a few parenting books to get some strategies up your sleeve to take the pressure off yourself?

Rantypanties · 06/05/2023 09:01

Being self employed I’m not a fan of bank holidays cause of the disruption to work. I also dislike how busy everywhere is so we end up doing nothing special and then I get bored!!!

TempsPerdu · 06/05/2023 09:01

I’d say you were probably quite unusual in not welcoming an extra Bank Holiday, but I do get the part about it being challenging with your DD. I work in a school and the children are becoming increasingly unsettled with all the random days off for holidays and strikes (our school has closed every time so far) - lots of tears and low level disruptive behaviour and even DD, who is particularly placid for a 5-year-old, has been a bit tearful and on edge.

We have just the one child and a tiny extended family so don’t have that as a distraction during these holiday times, and I’m rapidly running out of ideas for ways to entertain DD that aren’t ridiculously expensive. Plus the dodgy weather isn’t helping as it’s not as easy to spend time outdoors. It can all feel a bit intense at times if it’s just the 3 of us - generally enjoyable enough for DD but quite full-on for DP and I.

kikisparks · 06/05/2023 09:01

I love them because I don’t get many in my job and DD’s nursery is open so if it’s just me off I have a chill day and if DH is off we take a date day for ourselves. Not sure how il feel about them in 4 years when she’s at school!

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 06/05/2023 09:04

I love em, wish there were more, no real plans just chilling out, maybe a pub lunch, maybe a couple of walks, maybe gardening. Just me and my husband, Aah bliss.

NightIbble · 06/05/2023 09:05

As a retail worker I would love Bank Holidays off!

Bubbles254 · 06/05/2023 09:08

The problem is bank holidays with a small child are not holidays at all, they are bloody hard work. It makes it more painful having so many in April and May, it would be better if they spread them more and perhaps had some in July/ early August when the schools are off.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 06/05/2023 09:11

Yeah. With small children it’s not “an extra day off” it’s a day with no childcare (often while paying for childcare) and a lot of the usual child-friendly stuff shut or rammed.

CreeperBoom · 06/05/2023 09:11

I've never worked anywhere that automatically takes the bank holidays. Its quite common in Scotland to just get them added to your annual leave to take whenever you like.

I don't think i have ever chosen to take a bank holiday Monday off, unless I was taking the full week. I'd much rather save the days and take an extra week in the summer.

Random days seem a bit pointless.

5128gap · 06/05/2023 09:14

You're just at a stage where your personal life is harder, less rewarding and less enjoyable than your professional life. Its more common with young DC then people will admit. Why do you think so many men have to work over so often?
Lower your expectations, get through it, and remember that before you know it, they'll be grown up, and the lie ins, pub lunches and adult centred socials to be back on again.

happypoobum · 06/05/2023 09:23

It sounds to me like your mother/family are the problem here.

Why do you think you HAVE TO spend the time with them? Are they bullies?

Would you enjoy the weekend more if it was just you and the kids doing whatever you chose to do?

fryanddry · 07/05/2023 14:27

Can anyone tell me if there is a bank holiday tomorrow ? Does that mean schools off,?

HauntedPencil · 07/05/2023 14:32

I found them hard going when the kids were small and your ages. And we've had loads and loads in a row. I used to find it better to book a cheap Caravan weekend and get away sometimes but that isn't always possible.

Lol at the poster telling you to read a parenting book

berksandbeyond · 07/05/2023 14:34

I have a 4 year too but can’t relate to be honest, as there’s no chance she would be allowed to behave like that on any day

berksandbeyond · 07/05/2023 14:35

fryanddry · 07/05/2023 14:27

Can anyone tell me if there is a bank holiday tomorrow ? Does that mean schools off,?

Yes and yes. Not quite sure how you’ve managed to miss that info

Glasshalffullorempty · 07/05/2023 14:44

What really gets my goat is when people who ‘love’ bank holidays then whinge about the economy being in the crapper and tax raises. Bank holidays cost the economy about £2bn a time and we just spent £350bn on Covid. Let’s just get back to work.

grinner83 · 07/05/2023 14:44

berksandbeyond · 07/05/2023 14:34

I have a 4 year too but can’t relate to be honest, as there’s no chance she would be allowed to behave like that on any day

I think it's hilarious you've used the word "allowed". Like anyone "allows" their kid to behave like that 😂 My daughter would never have behaved like that, but my son was basically a tasmanian devil. Both raised exactly the same, just two very different children.

OP, I totally understand how you feel. When my kids were little weekends were HARD. I say kids, but actually it was my son. He's since been diagnosed with ADHD which explains A LOT. To be honest I just used to have to get them out of the house as much as possible. Being stuck in the house all day with screaming small children is hell on earth.

I would take a step back from your mother too. Mine is an alcoholic (but a functioning one) and over the years I've seen her less and less. She lives about 40 mins from me so I have an excuse not to just pop round, and she doesn't want to come to our house (interferes with her drinking because she has to drive) so we just don't really see each other.

It will get better. My kids are 15 and 12 now and I get a lot of time to myself. My peaceful morning coffee, while everyone else is still in bed, is my favourite time of day 😍 Obviously now I'm an unpaid taxi service, but I'll take that over the constant screaming/nagging/being pulled at/jumped on etc from when they were little!