To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

[Iheartherain]

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

So hard!!
My son has been getting up at 5:30 for a couple of weeks (previously 6:30/7) and he’s done this in the past. I know you said no advice haha but I don’t ever go in his room before 6:30ish. If he throws his lovey then he might cry a bit and I go in, give it to him and say it’s still nighttime.
and yes I’m aware we are lucky that he will just chill in his bed until we decide to get up.
he also sometimes will happily be up for a bit then come for a cuddle and sleep or have his milk and back to sleep

My now 4 year old woke up for the day at 4:30/5am from 6m until she was 2.5. Then one day she randomly woke at 7am and has done ever since.

It's awful. It's the relentless unpredictability of it and how it messes with your sleep pattern for years. For me I was so used to responding quickly to any night time wake ups that any little noise during the night would have me wide awake for no reason and couldnt get back to sleep.....arrrghhhh. while DH slept blissfully. it does come to an end but I'm not going to lie a newborn and this.... its not easy. Any chance at all you could go away for a night alone ? Just for one good night's sleep....

Sorry OP...I never actually understood this from other parents. If my DC woke up at 5am or whatever I'd just march in, say "No, it's not getting up time, back to sleep please" and march back out. And of course it didn't always work, so there might have been some increasingly stern words about waiting until Mummy got up, and being quiet until then, and after it was repeated enough times they learned that they can't get up at 5am or whenever. There is no goddamn way I would have got up and played horsies or whatever at 5am just because they felt like it - I wouldn't have been safe to drive, or operate a stove, or do anything after very little sleep. It was just a flat 'NO, you stay in bed' in our house.

Hmm, the problem is for some people (me included) 5am is right on the cusp of it being morning. From now till late August it's light, if they are generally early sleepers it may have been 10 or 11 hours since they had any calories and if you are absolutely resolute about it still being night etc you can end up in the mad situation of getting them back to sleep just as the alarm goes off.

I think it really depends on the age as well a 4 year old is much more capable of being told and understanding that they need to go back to sleep or they will be too tired for school, a two year old not so much, an 11 month old not at all.

DS was (is) a bit of an early riser most of the time we kept a lid on it so it was after 6, but he certainly had phases ,one in the weeks after he had a new sister I think that was solved by cutting his nap completely. He just doesn't need much sleep by 6 he was sleeping 8:30-6:30, which is better than 7-5, his sister at the same age would do 7-7:30 and as a baby would happily drift back at 5am, they are all different.

I hope OP's DH is up with her toddler this morning giving her a break.

So what you did worked. You didn’t need to try anything different.

🥴 the second worst bit about sickness bugs is knowing that it’s only a matter of time before you get it 😣. Even less sleep is obviously in the top spot 🙃. I hope it’s short lived!

I don't think that would work for a one year old....

My 2yo had around a year of waking up at 11pm/12am and staying awake for a few hours. Now he wakes any time between 4.30-6am and we have tried EVERYTHING. Doesn’t matter whether he naps during the day. Some days he’s asleep at 6.30 (b rare), usually it’s around 8-9pm. It’s absolutely shit. All our friends seem to have kids the same age sleeping 8-8 so no one gets it.

my second DS is 7mo and has slept through the night more times than my 2 yo

What are the chances that I have my own psychological torment story this morning.

This week was really hectic in work as we were down a member of staff and I had to do his work as well as my own. I haven't had a break all week. Yesterday I felt headachey and run down because of the exhaustion.

At 7pm, DH was cooking dinner and the 5 and 8 year old were pottering around. DC5 was watering some plants on the balcony while DC8 was watching TV. I said I'd skip dinner, gave the 1 year some porridge for supper and took her to bed as I felt so, so tired.

At 7.20, baby was drifting off the sleep and I was planning to get into bed ASAP. I could hear DC5 filling her watering can from the bidet in the bathroom. Except, the sound of running water went on bit too long. I ran out to see that she had hooked the watering can to the tap but was nowhere to be seen. I waded through the water on the floor to turn it off and found her sitting laughing at a cartoon in the living room. Cue enormous commotion, husband nearly burns the dinner, DC5 is hysterical, baby wakes up.

Our mop broke so I used a dustpan to scoop 3 litres of water off the floor and used every towel in the house to dry the floor. Finally I put nappies on my feet to dry up the remaining puddles (not very stable footwear, so I don't recomment) OK, bathroom done.

I try to put baby back to sleep but she has had a second wind and it takes ages. At 10pm she finally goes back to sleep and I have a cup of tea then fall asleep on the sofa. The baby wakes two hours later for an hour. Then at 3 for an hour and then at 5. DH got up with her but had to go to work at 6.

DC8, who gets up at 6am rain, wind or shine, tired or rested, no matter what, emerges as DH was leaving. I told DH to put the baby in the buggy, put her in front of the TV and get DC8 to watch her while I doze in the next room. I got an hour of light sleep and felt like less of a zombie.

I lifted baby out and went to change her nappy and it was extremely dirty, but had no smell so I didn't know. That was why she was so unsettled last night but I had no idea. What a rookie error.

My bathroom floor is super clean though!

I think DS sensed my desperation … woke at 6:10 today, which is definitely fine by my low standards!

No, anything before 7am is back in bed, dummy back in, tucked up & no getting out until I come in at 7am. Took me about 2weeks & now they both get up at 7

Yep, you’d ignore a crying child for fifty minutes; I wouldn’t. We’re all different.

Op do you feel rested if you go to bed early? I worked at a job where I had to get up at 5am every morning for 3 years and found it doable if I went to bed at 9. I'm sure you've tried everything but am just wondering what happened and did it help.

Good for you! Never worked for me. Just two hours of him being dangerous and very upset (there’s only so much I can babyproof)

🤣🤣🤣 as if my lot would pay attention to that if they were tiny. They would scream and make a fuss or spit out a dummy etc.

I know! Where do these compliant babies come from? Can I have one?

I worked in a job where I got up at 5am pre children. That was easy, I only had to look after myself at that time. In fact I would happily choose getting up at that time if I only had to sort myself out.

I feel you! My son is 4.5 and he has never slept well. This clocks changing meant he was doing 8-6, perfect! But no now it’s 8-5 so we are bringing the 8 back to 730. He also has been waking in night with growing pains and wanting a cuddle! Slept with me last night because he ‘missed me’. I remind myself he will be a teenager and I’ll long for these cuddles before I know it!

This wasn't pre kids for me though? I lived abroad and everything started very early, so I had to get up at 5.15 and get myself and toddler ready for nursery which opened at 6.30 so I could be in work at 6.45. We went to bed early and took turns with our child during the night if he woke up.

Anyway, I didn't mean it in an 'I did it and so should you', I was genuinely asking what happens if the OP goes to bed early. I'm currently the thick of sleep deprivation myself and know that what works for one family doesn't work for another.

Yes but what I meant was, what time was the toddler waking?

So pleased OP hope you are feeling better today ☕

For me it's the constant entertainment alongside everything else. I feel like the mental load is so heavy that I'm not really enjoying the moment anymore. I can't remember the last time I felt not tired and achey/headache.
I'm a single parent so everything is down to be and I lm constantly running myself into the ground. I want someone else to take the wheel so I can relax and enjoy life a bit more.

The OP has already said she is in bed at 9pm. The most difficult thing from my POV is being dragged from sleep straight into active parenting (I don’t include shushing a willing child back to sleep as active parenting). Getting up at the time you need to get ready for work and getting your child up is hard when it’s early, but it’s an active choice.

OP I feel for you! DD is currently very happy with a 5am wake up me not so much 😩 DS (3.5) has gotten massively better since he stopped his nap and goes to bed around 6.30/7 and wakes between 6 and 7.
Me and DH do take it in turns getting up with her even if it gives the other a doze until 6. Is that an option?