If you’re a British expat living abroad, or an expat from abroad living in Britain…

[Coffeeandbourbons]

Can I ask where you now live/moved from, whether you would move back, and what you like/dislike?

I’ve only lived in the U.K. but for about 2 years have been increasingly thinking about leaving, for what are probably obvious reasons (weather, expensive housing, general quality of life in decline).

We have to stay put for another 3 years at least so I can finish my professional qualification (currently on mat leave, with 2 years left to go when I return to work) so want to use that time to do some homework on what might suit our family.

TIA

I moved to France about 18 years ago. To be honest it was never my dream to live here it was XH's dream and I tagged along with him because that's what I always did. As it happened he never left the UK and I was left in France with the DCs. We came for a better way of life for our DCs, bigger garden, country living, the opportunity to be bilingual etc and it was a great move for them. Not so great for me until I'd managed to get to grips with the language and then a job.

Until Brexit I'd always had a notion of returning to the UK, but then I just watched my home country disintegrate before my eyes, the venom and bile that was spouted, I just couldn't reconcile that in my head with the home country that I'd left, it was so alien to my memories and my life there, so that was when I cut the cord so to speak. Now I watch the news and see the shit show the the Conservative government is wreaking on the UK and there is not a cat in hell's chance of me returning. I haven't been back since Brexit actually.

I see my life here in France now, I'm not ready to give up my British nationality or even take French nationality, at the moment, but I think the only thing stopping me these days is the paperwork putting me off. I don't necessarily want to be French, but I do want to be European. I think that the UK is a very long way from me now and there are other countries I'd consider living in before I returned.

I came to the UK when I was five (from Belgium). Our family were due to return home after a couple of years but my father’s job kept him in the UK for 15 years. I went to Uni in the UK and during my second year my parents and sister returned to Belgium- and are still there.
I met DH whilst I was at Uni - he’s French Canadian and he came to the Uk when he was 20 on a scholarship.
DT’s were born in the Uk - none of us have applied for UK citizenship. After Uni, DS is now on a graduate job in Amsterdam and DD in Brussels. DH and I moved to Canada last year - no plans to live in the UK again.

I have lived in Greece, Iraq, Oman, Canada, Qatar and Sweden. Qatar by far the nicest in terms of people, healthcare, safety and general happiness. Greece definitely worst. UK is not somewhere I would ever, ever consider and have ensured I have property and residents rights elsewhere, I just couldn't imagine not having access to healthcare. It's just normal elsewhere that you see a doctor when you need to and the police attend when you need them rather than just giving you a crime number. No need for any ultra trendy Qatar hatred, its irrelevant.

I am from California but came to the UK 20 years ago for post grad studies. I really like the UK, am a dual citizen now, dh is British. I miss my family a lot more as I get older, especially as I see parents age and nieces and nephews born that don’t really know me. I don’t know if I miss California itself, more the people i I think.

I tell my dc, who are dual citizens but British culturally, they can choose which country to live in. But I explain that it’s hard to raise dc away from your own parents and long haul travel will certainly get more expensive, less accessible and less socially acceptable as time goes on. Dh and I would move to the states if our dc did, although maybe not the same state.

I’m glad I moved to the UK, but I certainly didn’t consider the impact of living permanently far away from family when I was early 20s.

I moved there from Australia for quite a few years. I have such fond memories of the UK. From a backpacker in Earls Court, to living and working in central London for a multinational, travelling here and there. I fell in love, gave birth to my daughter, visited the places where my grandparents were born, marvelled at the museums and Hyde Park, the Lakes District, York… and more. I adore the UK and I miss it. But I think I miss what it used to be.

I won’t move back. It’s too expensive. My kids could never afford a house. I would be terrified to be at the mercy of the NHS. I’m not in Australia either. Unfortunately I think it’s following in the uk’s footsteps.

my family moved to the UK when I was a child. I emigrated, but am currently back in the UK temporarily due to my husband’s work contract. I wouldn’t choose to remain here, and we do have a leaving date. My parents are also leaving this year, now they have both retired.

Is the UK the worst place in the world? Of course not, but that doesn’t mean it’s somewhere you have to want to live, or that you wouldn’t be happier elsewhere.

I am South African. I have lived here for 20 years. I stayed because when I met my now DH he made it clear that staying here was a deal breaker for him and so I made the decision to stay in the relationship and the country.

Overall, I'm happy and have a network and a support structure and I'm lucky enough to have family - mine and DH's who have moved here plus some extended family of mine as my father was English. And there are lots of things to like about England vs South Africa - it's safer, there's a much lower number of people in abject poverty, I can travel from here to other places, it's cosmopolitan etc.

But.... I will never be English and there's a part of me that finds that hard. It wasn't so bad when I worked in the City in London, but now living and working in Surrey I feel that much as I've toned down my "south africanness" I seldom quite fit. Most of my closest friends I've met since moving here have an international aspect to them - eg my closest local friend is English but her mother is American and they lived in the US for about 10 years when she was a child, only returning when her and her siblings were in high school.

Also, every time we go back to Cape Town I'm reminded that I grew up in a city that is arguably one of the most beautiful in the world and I now I live in a perfectly nice but ordinary English town.....

I've lived in Italy, France, Spain and the Middle East but I'm so happy to be back in the Uk.

I moved to Germany 35 years ago for work. Stayed, went freelance and have ended up working on projects in Dublin, Luxembourg and Zurich as well as in Germany. I was back in the UK for a few days in March and had an OK time (staying with family), but I have no reason or wish to return permanently. i do now have dual nationality, so all bases covered there.
My next scheduled trip to the UK is for a family wedding next year (unless someone else dies in the meanwhile), then there is a planned school reunion in 2026.
I may also be invited to spend Christmas this year with family, which will be given due consideration.

We are both, OP! DH is British and I am not. I moved to the UK in 2009 shortly after we married and we stayed there until 2020 when we moved to my home country.

Would we move back? In principle, yes. We loved many things about our experience of living in the UK and are extremely close to DH's family, who we miss terribly. Having said that, we don't regret moving here at all at the moment. Both our countries have significant political, economic and "cultural" challenges, but currently in terms of quality of life and opportunities, not the UK is definitely a better place for us. We are still open to going back when the children (and DH's parents) are older.

Like a PP, DH is not planning or willing to give up his British citizenship (not that he has to in order to live here, but he wouldn't) and the children and I are dual citizens so that does not affect our choice of where to live.

I would say, from the perspective of someone who lived in the UK for many years... two years is not that long. At two years I was still figuring out the systems and the culture and just... how to get anything done. By year four I felt so much more at home and settled and like I knew what I was doing. Had circumstances not changed, I had planned to stay in the UK permanently.

I think DH's feelings about being a Brit abroad would be similar. He's in the middle of year three and seems to be a lot more comfortable living here than previously. We came here with a plan to stay 2-5 years, depending on the aforementioned circumstances, but DH is the one who decided about a year ago that it would be better for us to stay here for a longer, as-of-yet undetermined period of time.

If you're looking to compare the UK with places you've lived before, where you have a good understanding of what your life might be like, then I think the comparison is definitely worth making. I knew what our cost of living would be like when we came here, which areas had the best schools for my children, what the job market was like, etc. If you're considering places that neither of you have ever lived as an alternative to the UK, I think that is a much more difficult assessment, with a lot more risk. I'm not saying don't do it, just be wary of grass-is-greener thinking. Nowhere is perfect.

Aside from the UK I have lived in the Netherlands and in Scandinavia. The one thing I appreciate most about living & working in Scandinavia is the work-life balance. It's pretty rare to see colleagues in the office after 5pm. In the places I have worked it was also widely accepted that parents with young kids will leave at 3 or 4pm to pick up the kids from nursery. Good parental leave arrangements, good before/after school care, and flexible working/employers means life generally feels less rushed. I love how kids seem to have more freedom and independence here too. Lots of 7 & 8 year olds who walk, cycle or take the bus to school by themselves - this last point applies to the Netherlands too.

I dislike some of the head in the sand-culture here. Large swaths of the population like to pretend that racism just doesn't exist here. My current country of residence (Sweden) believes in its own myth (of this fantastic caring, liberal nation) a bit too much.

Aside from that I miss the banter, the jokes, the small everyday interactions from the UK. It's partly a language issue, but also just not part of the culture here. Here you won't get a shop assistant asking how your day has been, people don't thank the bus driver. People don't really do small talk basically. It can also be challenging to make friends, though it seems a bit easier when you have kids.

However, all of that aside, the main question for you is not so much where will you move but how will you move? Post-Brexit any move will require you to get some kind of visa. How likely are you to get a work visa to work somewhere else? And which countries might it be easiest to get a work visa?

@ToThineOwnSelfBe I think you misread part of the OP's post (so did I when I first read it). She has only every lived in the UK. However, she has been thinking about moving elsewhere for about two years now.

I lived in the USA for 5 years and came back to the UK with work. I travel a lot to lots of deprived countries, I love coming home. I know the UK is a shitstorm currently and has some awful things about it but it's home to me and I genuinely love where I live.

As someone who has lived in the UK for most of my adult life, I'd say that beware that moving brings challenges and moving to another country for the sake of it, if you don't have ties etc, can be really hard. My family is English and I really didn't expect the transition to be difficult, but it was. Ironically, less so when I was younger and was just out partying and travelling a lot, but definitely as I've got older. It can be hard to make friends and fit in and I'll always be grateful that I had lots of family support as well as a few good friends who had also moved to the UK at a similar time to me.

Also, don't underestimate the challenge of losing your oldest friends and extended family members. I notice now with some of my UK friends, we're close and I love them and vice versa, but like me, they still have really deep seated bonds with friends from school and uni and I can never compete. While the bulk of my school and uni friends are in another country. I'm still close with many of them (WhatsApp and wifi is a huge boon), but it's not the same. There are people in my home country I could drop in on right now, having not spoken to them for 5 years, and it would be fine. But I wouldn't' dream of doing the same to my UK friends, even the ones I'm super close to.

I did misread it, thanks for flagging that @Alaimo. I thought OP said they'd only lived there for two years 😳. Welp, ignore that advice, @Coffeeandbourbons. Sorry for the confusion!!!

Although I can say, moving abroad is hard. You can't just up stakes and live wherever you like. We had a relatively straightforward route to moving to my home country and it still took a very long time with mountains of paperwork and interviews and an incredible amount of money.

I’m an immigrant to Portugal from the U.K.

Pull factors for me were a lifelong desire to experience living in another country; the amazing weather, particularly in winter; the affordability of food and eating out; the proximity to Spain; and the ease and low cost of visiting friends and family in the U.K.

The only real push factor was the U.K. weather and long winter nights.

I don’t think the U.K. is shit, it’s very English to decry it but people view other countries through very rose-tinted spectacles. I love Portugal and Spain but corruption is much worse, unemployment is higher, wages lower, graduate opportunities are lower and bureaucracy is very clunky. It is very common for Portuguese graduates to have to emigrate to other countries to secure a decent salary in their chosen career. I still appreciate the beauty of the U.K. countryside when I return for visits.

I haven’t met any other immigrants or expats who regret moving to Portugal and I know people with varying incomes and backgrounds. Portugal is a very welcoming, beautiful country with a rich culture, heritage and cuisine. It is much harder to speak and understand spoken European Portuguese than Spanish, so that’s a challenge if you struggle with languages but I enjoy the challenge. It is a very child friendly culture and also very accommodating in attitude towards people with disabilities, - although the infrastructure definitely lags behind the U.K. Crime rates are low, particularly violent crime, but on the flip side, the incidence of domestic violence is apparently still high and animal neglect is far too high, particularly in rural areas.

Apart from Albufeira in the summer, you don’t tend to see groups of really drunk people and I haven’t noticed the phenomena of town centres feeling menacing at night because of roaming gangs of pissed up lads. I live in a small town (30,000) and feel very safe walking around at night. You’ll see people of all ages out and about.

I’m aware that we experience Portugal from the privileged position of having a good income and savings thanks to our previous lives in the U.K. and that has its bearing.

Expat -v- immigrant

I've lived in Thailand for nearly 5 years. Previously lived in South America but repatriated to the UK to be closer to family when I had a child, and immediately knew that I didn't want to stay. I left again 2 years later and have no plans to go back to live there.

Things I like about Thailand - we have a very good lifestyle (nice house, wonderful nanny, cheap holidays, cheap food, free schooling as I'm a teacher and that's part of my package), the weather (although this definitely does not suit everyone!), the food, the festivals (Songkran and Loy Krathong especially), usually the people (although it is impossible to integrate here; you always remain a 'farang' or foreigner regardless of length of stay, looks, or language level!)

Things I dislike - the language is REALLY hard, it is very far from the UK, foreign men often behave terribly here (not just sexpats but tourists and long term expats, too), pollution levels are high for part of the year, and we do not have a free press.

I am from the U.K. and moved to Abu Dhabi four years ago. Went in with no expectations, now I have no plans to move back.

Every time I go back to the U.K. I am shocked by how dirty it is (London, admittedly) and unsafe. The UAE is so clean, and so safe. You can forget your phone in a mall and no one will take it, leave your car unlocked, leave your bags places and trust no one will steal them.

I haven't quite worked out if London has changed so much during covid, or whether AD is just so much safer it has changed my perception.

As a pp said, healthcare is another consideration. In AD if I need an appointment, I can get one that day or the next. I can book directly to see a specialist. In the U.K. I had to wait 6 weeks to see a GP.

Oh another dislike about Thailand - the way in which Burmese workers are treated can be dreadful. Factory workers and domestic staff in general can have a rough set-up but the Burmese have the added difficulty of being openly looked down upon by many Thais despite propping up the economy. The Burmese were treated horrifically during covid, locked into their buildings and accused of spreading it. They relied on donations of water, rice etc.

Most of my closest friends I've met since moving here have an international aspect to them

I've moved around quite a bit and find this, too. I think it's a natural consequence. People who have never moved very far from where they were born just don't understand what it's like to move continents, to have all your networks disrupted.

People who have moved around are much more likely to have space in their life for new friends and acquaintances, even be looking out for new contacts.

At work, I discovered a colleague who happens to live quite close to me. This is quite unusual and she really is a delightful person. We do lunch at work but even after decades, have never done anything outside work. I'm hoping it's just because having a large family and never having lived anywhere else, her social life is already full of people. Sigh.

I have become much closer to other people I have known for much less time simply because they have been open even keen to make new friends, having moved here as adults.

It's not just about your outlook, but moving and network disruption will make people more outward looking regardless of where they live.

I live in Idaho, USA. I'm British, moved over here to marry my American husband at 22. Been here for almost 8 years now and I love it. I miss my family and enjoy visiting the UK but I'd never want to move back.

I live in Spain and have done for almost 20 years and am married to a Spaniard. We have one child who has both nationalities. I moved here from the UK temporarily thinking I'd stay for a summer but just never went back. Now I never would. Brexit was the final nail in the coffin and now I'm planning on taking Spanish nationality and renouncing my British. Nothing pulls me back to the UK at all to live. I enjoy visiting and holidays there, but I want my child to grow up European.

What do I love about Spain? People are more laid back, less uptight, less competitive, cost of living is cheaper (but so are salaries) and you just need less in general to live well.

I have lived in the Netherlands for 23 years, yikes! I always thought I’d move back but Brexit makes me think I’ll stay. At present I have permanent residency which is fine, having to renounce British nationality is the main reason I haven’t applied for Dutch nationality.

So interesting to hear your story. I was born abroad to a British mum and Guyanese father but moved to UK when I was a toddler. Even so, I always only felt half British as non-British dad moving back abroad created a sense of otherness for me in myself and to others I guess. To add to the mix, I had a strong Scottish identity due to visiting Scottish grandparents throughout childhood and I realised how different my Scottish heritage was to the experiences of my majority English friends. But I did have a great life growing up in London and wouldn't exchange that. However, ever since I had the opportunity to work abroad in Belgium in my late 20's I haven't looked back. It came at a time in my life when I really needed a new lease of life and returning to the UK felt like such an anti-climax. All I could think of was getting away again and I developed an association of being happy with being abroad which isn't entirely healthy. But I found the Europeans and then the Americans, plus the culture - so refreshing to the UK. Professionally speaking I have always excelled more in the opportunities offered abroad, I never really shot to success in the UK job market. Anyway after another bleak period in the UK, I am now living abroad again but strangely very homesick for the first time, despite the mess that is going on there! I think this time it's because the move is more long-term and my husband's plans and goals are definitely not UK-centric. Also where we live (I won't say where as it's a tiny place) is far from ideal culturally and socially speaking although there is better quality of life in other ways. My dream would be to own UK property as an ex-pat and at least spend several weeks of the year there.