If you’re a British expat living abroad, or an expat from abroad living in Britain…

[Coffeeandbourbons]

Can I ask where you now live/moved from, whether you would move back, and what you like/dislike?

I’ve only lived in the U.K. but for about 2 years have been increasingly thinking about leaving, for what are probably obvious reasons (weather, expensive housing, general quality of life in decline).

We have to stay put for another 3 years at least so I can finish my professional qualification (currently on mat leave, with 2 years left to go when I return to work) so want to use that time to do some homework on what might suit our family.

TIA

There is no V. We are all both. Expat from the country of birth and immigrant to the country we go to. Every immigrant is both an immigrant and an emigrant.

Some countries maintain less of a hold on their expats and others, like the US, continue to tax them and maintain ties. The stronger those ties the more likely those people consider themselves expats.

I'm an America expat living in London. I've been here nearly 20 years (went to uni here). I really don't like America for various political reasons e.g. guns and the attack on abortion rights so I definitely wouldn't move back. I've a dual national so I also have German citizenship so I've considered moving to an EH country but I'll probably end up staying because I've got a child and I feel like moving to another country is tricky for little guys.

I moved to Finland from the UK 15 years ago. I'm never moving back. There's a lot I miss about the UK and life isn't perfect in Finland (I still struggle with the language in particular) but I'm settled here, my children were born here, and the schools are far superior so its definitely better for my children to stay here. Housing is better (whenever I visit the UK in winter I'm horrified by how cold and damp the houses are), healthcare is, at the moment, better (for instance I called an ambulance yesterday for a febrile seizure, it arrived within minutes) though who knows if that'll stay like that as there's been big changes this year and we've yet to see the full consequences. I like having a proper winter, and summer is glorious (spring and autumn are utterly shit though, but very short). Affordable childcare is a massive plus point, my 5 year old goes full time to nursery for free, including meals, even if I paid full price it'd be less than 300e a month.

I'm at the point now where I am considering giving up my British citizenship, there's not much benefit to keeping it as I can't vote in UK elections any more, and its an issue in the area I want to get employment in (dual nationals aren't allowed to work in certain military areas) though I'd want to get my children's British passports first.

We live in Canada. I’m Canadian but lived in London for 10 years, met my English husband there and had 2 children.

We would never go back, we love visiting and I adored London when I lived there but it is just too hard and expensive. It began to feel unmanageable. We’ve visited frequently and we always have fun but we all find it exhausting, expensive and dirty. So many people!

There are issues here, the cost of living crisis is impacting everyone. Some groceries are more expensive and there is a homeless crisis. There are also health care issues but most people can easily access appointments and medication.

However we have a large house with a big garden and a pool. We like the weather and the changing seasons and even though we live in a city we can get to wild, natural areas quickly. We love camping, hiking and walking our dogs. We have very little debt and it is safe. Our kids walk to school and go out independently (ages 10 & 13). We both have similar jobs and pay to the ones we had in the UK. Lots of restaurants and larger attractions in Toronto.

We’re also Toronto area but not in Toronto, which is a lot more expensive.

Uggh, I am so sick of posts by people who’ve moved to the continent because “Britain has become a nasty, bigoted little place since Brexit,” and “I want to be European again.” It’s so smug and tedious and self-congratulatory.

For a start, we left the EU, not Europe. Look at a flippin map. The U.K. hasn’t drifted off into the middle of the Atlantic. Our culture and identity is still European. You can’t undo two thousand years of literature and art and civilisation.

Second, the U.K. is one of the most tolerant, cosmopolitan, good-humoured places I’ve ever lived, and I’ve lived in six different countries.

I’m not deluded btw. This island has massive faults. It’s grey and overcrowded. The royals are a ghastly embarrassment (I’m dreading the coronation). And the houses are too small, too expensive and too on top of one another. But don’t confuse that lovely holiday you had with actually living somewhere. Living in another country is a very different experience. Often, you are shocked by the tangled and inefficient bureaucracy, or the corruption, or the sheer boredom. Literally nowhere is perfect. Everywhere has its downsides. Even hot sunshine can be a pain in the arse, especially when you’re sitting in traffic or covered in insect bites.

Interesting discussions. I'm a little surprised that Brexit is the nail in the coffin for so many expats. (I am a remainer and would prefer closer ties with the EU). I don't think that Brexit has changed my life or my family's life to an extent that I would consider emigrating. Sometimes the govt of the day is rubbish, but I guess I see that as a risk anywhere shrugs

An ''expat'' is someone who is abroad for a finite amount of time, usually for work reasons.

Most of what is being discussed here is people deciding to immigrate to other countries to settle on a permanent basis.

It always annoys the hell out of me when the term ''expat'' is used for white Brits yet people coming to this country, especially if they happen not to be white, are ''immigrants''...

I was born in an EU country but I went to university and lived all my adult life in the UK and would not want to live anywhere else.

The current Tory shit show will not last forever.

Fascinating thread, thanks OP!

I was born in Switzerland to British expat parents and grew up there, moving back to the UK to finish education and somehow never leaving. It's never been a plan to stay, more like not ever deciding to create the opportunity to leave because of some shorter-term consideration or other. I'm mildly surprised to still be here in my 50s and feeling limited by it!

I feel a divided pull, on the one hand to the Swiss scenery, architecture and international culture mix of my youth, which makes me almost weepy with longing and when I go back is so uplifting. On the other, family culture runs deeeeep and the UK is a very close fit for me, I love the history, the values and the millions of tiny cultural touchpoints.

I do ponder moving back for the much better lifestyle, weather and prospects, but wonder whether I'd create the same sense of divided self in my kids if I did, being neither completely at home or completely foreign in two places.

I moved to UAE/KSA to work after Brexit. I won’t return to the U.K. (other than to visit family) but rather will look at EU residency via golden visa

We lived in the USA for a few years, supported by DH's employer. It was brilliant for exploring the US, our DCs were young and experienced school there, I worked freelance.
It was a great experience but there's no way I could live in that particular area (Texas) long term.
I missed the UK, craved drizzle, was baffled by the gun culture, found food/eating out so often weird, despised the lack of free healthcare and the weather was so dramatic whether it was the 100 degree heat, the scary tornadoes, the ice or the thunderstorms that literally shook the house foundations.
I'm grateful for the experience but I'm happier in the UK, despite its many faults.

If you move to another country you are an immigrant not an 'ex-pat'.

I'm British but currently living in Bahrain (for the past two years).

What I love:

• A slightly higher salary but I pay minimal tax so I have more disposable income and don't worry about affording my bills each month.

• My work load is lighter here than what it was in the UK. My work-life balance is great. Bahrain in general just seems to move a bit more slower, things are more relaxed.

• Medical care. I pay £10 to see a doctor but I can literally book an appointment through WhatsApp and be seen by a doctor within an hour. Test results are really quick e.g. my smear results came within 3 days. It is well worth it!

• The weather. Yes it's scorching hot for 4/5 months of the year but everywhere has AC and there's plenty to do both indoors and outdoors. The weather the remaining 7/8 months of the year is gorgeous.

• A lot of things are cheaper here; water, gas, petrol, take away food.

What I dislike:

• Because of the relaxed way of life, things can take longer to get sorted when things go wrong. "Inshallah" is used quite often when you ask for timelines.

• Driving here is terrifying. There's no regards for driving laws. Most people drive while on the phone, toddlers and children don't wear seat belts or even sit down half the time in car. Accidents are very common.

• The price of supermarket food here is expensive (strawberries can cost you £8 for tiny tub). Although, the price of food in the UK seems to be getting just as expensive!

• I miss the greenery and the beauty of the UK so much. I miss the mountains, rivers, fields, everything! Bahrain can't compare in that aspect.

@JaneyGee I agree with you. It is dull.

I’m a Brit who lives on the west coast of Canada. I love living here - we are surrounded by mountains and lakes, bears are a relatively common sight, and we’re so close to the ocean. I moved here from London and it immediately felt like all the tension just left my body. It’s a much more chilled place (in my opinion). People are friendly and the climate is very similar to the UK so easy to get used to. However, the cost of living is high (I guess much like the UK recently from what I’ve heard). Renting/buying property is ridiculous, groceries are really expensive, there’s no internet or car insurance competition so they’re very expensive, and there are hidden costs everywhere (e.g., tax isn’t included in sticker prices so you never quite know what your final bill will be). Also, public transport is pretty lacking and getting elsewhere in Canada is almost as expensive as flying back to the UK. But for me, the lifestyle makes the move worth it and I look forward to raising my kids here ☺️

I moved to France 28 years ago. I was 24. Kids born here. 2 French husbands. Will never move back to the UK. I only took French nationality when MN made me réalise that Brexit actually might happen.

Great quality of life. France has been good to me.

Thanks again for the replies. @Pickles91 how did you get residency can I ask?

We just moved back to the U.K. after a decade in California. I was brought up an expat brat in early childhood and wanted something similar for my DC, never imagined our 3 year adventure would turn into 10!!

I am so happy to home. There are many things I loved about California and I miss, but as a PP it’s essentially same shit different bucket and I just missed my own culture (both British and moreover European - even though we’ve brexited I still feel European, and made friends more easily with other Europeans in the states than I did Americans) and my people. We live in a new part of a the U.K. to us and at the moment our quality of life is pretty good, gorgeous countryside on our doorstep, 20min drive to the sea, 1hr on the train to London.

I was feeling more and more guilty about the annual transatlantic flights we were taking and the pandemic suddenly made home very very far away.

do I see myself staying here forever? No idea. Definitely to see DC through uni and then I imagine for my parents as they get older. If I was to move away again it would be much closer to the U.K. though we all naturalised (because following brexit I felt it was prudent for the kids to have freedom of movement somewhere - who knows what the world will look like in 20-50years) so if both DC were to move back to the America I’d be very torn as to whether to follow them

Left UK for Middle East 9 years ago. Moved to SE Asia 2 years ago. No intention of returning to the UK at the moment.

Reasons for this are varied - weather , political, financial and family. We are happy where we are. It's hard at times with no family support but I'd much rather be here than in the UK

Pressed enter too early.. things I like about where I am right now are the cost of living , my lovely duplex apartment. My children are doing well at school and the weather (although extremely humid at times) is lovely. Things I don't like are : - I'm not working at the moment due to visa issues which is difficult at times and the time difference which makes keeping in touch harder.
I miss the change of seasons in the UK at times. Bizarrely I miss being able to go into a supermarket and buy clothes if needed and (not that I had them much) ready meals. Like a m and a meal for £20.

Well quite…

Immigrant implies a permanent move, which is not the case for many on this thread. Ex-Pat is a catch-all term.

This resonated with me. I can't really comment on what it's like since Brexit as that all happened once I'd already moved abroad. Plus, I was living in Scotland beforehand which has always been more pro-European and generally felt like a separate country to England which is where I grew up. I lived in Belgium for one year and I found the Brits to be the most stand-offish and disinterested in having much to do with the European culture there! There was a general disinterest in even improving their French or learning any at all. The French, Italians and other European nationalities all mingled much more naturally. Fast forward to where I live now, even the Americans are far better at integrating with the local people and culture. It could be because there is a small and non-diverse pool of Brits here (and this is a place you come to pretty much work and go sailing to be fair), but I just don't understand people who say they love travel and want to live abroad but show no interest in learning more of the actual culture. I think it really does come down to better quality of life in a self-contained way in many ways. Anyway, I also still love Britain and being away for some years has made me realise it's still preferable to other countries on so many levels. For a while I had a love affair with the US having lived there also but I'm so put off now by the extreme direction it's taking and the endless debates about guns and race. Even my friends there feel very little loyalty to the country and say they'd move if they could. We are a mixed family and I genuinely would not want to expose us to the kind of issues that seem to constantly be bubbling beneath the surface there. So many people are waxing lyrical about Canada also, whereas I've heard from several people that it's actually very racist! I think it all depends on how "privileged" you are, it will definitely define the kind of experience you have anywhere you live.

I'm originally from NI, but left as soon as I could for London. Lived there ten years then moved to Ireland (Cork) and lived there for ten years. The recession hit, the weather was shit, so we decided to emigate to Perth, Australia. We've been here ten years and don't intend to move ever again, absolutely love it here (unless we decide to retire somewhere like Bali!). My only regret is we didn't move sooner, and only visit the UK now to see friends and family. We aren't expats, we are immigrants, and feel very lucky to live here. I don't miss much about the UK or Ireland (except my mum and M & S food hall). It feels like we were lucky to escape Brexit, and while Australia isn't perfect (nowhere is) it certainly feels like life is much better here for us.

From the US, moved to UK accidentally when I was 20 (study abroad), stayed 15 years, was ready to leave for at least the last 5 but had a bunch of immigration sorting out for DH. I loved being able to travel easily in Europe, when I was younger, I loved living centrally in London and being in a really vibrant city.

in the end what made me want to move back was:
being closer to my family, especially when we had DC and knowing DH coped way better being away from his.
How busy London was, but both our fields mean the jobs were there. All his family was there so moving out felt silly, but I just got so tired of feeling like I was always fighting through a mass of people to get anywhere.
Salaries versus cost of living: we were earning joint £120k, we both moved to more junior roles abroad, jointly earning £240k. We live in a expensive city but it’s still much less expensive.
Schools- the huge class sizes freak me out. Our local state primary has 18 kids/class.
Access to the outdoors. The ocean is a 10 minute bike ride, skiing is an hours’ drive, climbing, camping etc are all an hour for easy options and a HUGE number of options within 2-3 hours.
The area we live now is beautiful, surrounded by 10k ft mountains, ocean, islands etc. We’re in a busy city but not hemmed in by it.
Way more career growth for both of us, the biggest companies in the world are headquartered where I am for both our fields.
Way more relaxed lifestyle, we both work full time but that works out to about 25 hours a week, fully from home.

I miss the travel a lot, I miss the good public transport (although we bike most places so don’t mind much). I miss our neighbors and DH’s family a lot.

Another poster mentioned privilege and that is a great call out. We are very privileged and live in a liberal city so a lot of the crap in US is kept away from us. Our healthcare is excellent but I am well aware being poor and needing healthcare here can be bad… but the NHS is increasingly seemingly like it’s offering the same without most people having much better private care…