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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How old should a child be before they can be left unattended in a bath?

57 replies

scoobydoobydoo99 · 02/05/2023 20:25

The reason I'm asking is because I went over to my friends house today, who has a four year old daughter. I asked my friend where her daughter was and she said that her DD was in the bath. I asked if her DD was on her own and my friend replied that she was. I then spent our whole conversation feeling uncomfortable and constantly asking my friend if she was going to check on her daughter, and even offered to check on her myself. My friend said that her DD loves bath time and was probably up there "having fun" and said I was being dramatic about the whole thing. AIBU to be concerned about a 4 year old left unattended in a bath for a long period of time or is this perfectly normal?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 02/05/2023 20:27

I’m now leaving my 8 and 10 year old.

Im only across the hall and I shout out every now and then to make sure they are fine.

4 is way too young though…

FrazzledFirefly · 02/05/2023 20:28

Not normal to me. I frequently shout up to my 10yo when he's in the bath to make sure he's OK.

Wouldn't leave a 4yo on own - except being in and out of the room frequently to tidy up etc at bedtime

TheSnowyOwl · 02/05/2023 20:29

I wouldn’t leave a four year old.

Adults can still drown in baths, albeit usually drug, alcohol or due to a medical incident.

Runwayw · 02/05/2023 20:30

I still sit with my nearly 7 year old. I read someone’s account (could have been on here) where she was a few years older than that and somehow got stuck upside down and struggled to right herself which scared me! So I’ll probably keep an eye on mine for as long as she lets me. No way would I leave a 4 year old. What if they slipped and knocked themselves out?

SingingWaffleDoggy · 02/05/2023 20:32

I leave my 5 year old in the bath while I potter about packing laundry away etc upstairs, and have occasionally put the dinner on (the bathroom is at the top of the stairs and the stairs come down into the kitchen) but I’m always either listening to her chatting away with her toys or talking to her.
I would never leave her with no communication just in case she slipped or something.
My friend watches her DD (6) on a video baby monitor while she feeds the baby but does not take her eyes off her

curious79 · 02/05/2023 20:33

I never left my daughter completely alone. Through to her starting showers at about the age of nine or 10. I would always worry that she would slip in the bath and fall coming out.

MyTruthIsOut · 02/05/2023 20:33

My youngest is 5 and I will leave him for a few minutes at a time but I will always be on the same floor as him, tidying up the children’s bedrooms or putting their laundry away for example. He will constantly chat away to me the whole time too.

My oldest son is 9 and I will leave him unattended as he wants his privacy but again, I will stay on the same floor as him and poke my head around the door every now and then.

I would never leave a 4 year old unattended on a different floor of the house.

Woahtherehoney · 02/05/2023 20:33

Oh my god no way. We bath my DSS who’s 4 and apart from going into his bedroom to sort his bed out for bedtime we don’t leave him, and even then we’re in and out of the bathroom playing with his Peppa toys or watching him play (his bathroom is an en suite to his bedroom)

Rumplestrumpet · 02/05/2023 20:35

No way. I'd be really uncomfortable in that situation too

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 02/05/2023 20:36

I will potter about upstairs while 6 year old DS has a bath. All our doors are open and house isn't very big. We often chat away when I'm not in the room. If I do have to run downstairs we have a game where he has to sing as loud as he can.

At 4 the only time I ever left him was if I needed a wee as the toilet isn't in the same room as the bath, even then we'd do the singing challenge

Hopper123 · 02/05/2023 20:36

I leave my 4 and 6 year old in the bath together whilst I potter and do things upstairs but the door is open and I am in and out of there constantly either cleaning the bathrooms or putting clothes away tidying the bedrooms etc. I wouldn't leave them and go downstairs or not check on them throughout Bath time though...and if they go quiet I'm straight in there like a shot (no noise is a rarity in our house) if their 2 year old brother goes in for a splash with them once in a while I sit by the side of the bath and play with them no way would I leave them alone with him in there. I think 4 is a bit young if not constantly going in to check on them.

UsingChangeofName · 02/05/2023 20:38

YANBU.
I was going to say the same as lots of others have - at that age I would be pottering about on the landing, sorting washing or something potentially rather than necessarily being stood in the bathroom 100% but I wouldn't be downstairs, out of sight and hearing.

PurpleSnake99 · 02/05/2023 20:39

My son is 4 and there's no chance I would leave him on his own. He would turn the taps on to get the bath as deep as possible. Drowning is silent, you can't scream for help under water. Children can also become disoriented under water, they might thrash about rather than simply sitting up. Also a risk of burns if the hot water is very hot. No no no.

Dilemma19 · 02/05/2023 20:40

A bath no, but both my dc have had a shower on their own since 5years. I just turned on the water to make sure it's fine and they were fine.

annoyedbypeople · 02/05/2023 20:40

I have a en-suite bath and I'm in my bedroom if I need to change bed sheets or put laundry away but I'm literally a couple of metres away with door open and ds 4 having a bath in full view. I still think it's quiet young to leave fully a unattended. I'm more worried about the slipping and falling.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/05/2023 20:41

I will potter around upstairs (small house) whilst talking to my daughter and prob out of sight for no more than a minute at a time. She’s 5, I prob did that at 4 too. But depends on the child, the house, the stepping away and what that means. I wouldn’t eat dinner downstairs with her in the bath alone.

broadbeanquiche · 02/05/2023 20:41

4 is far too tiny

Busybusybusy · 02/05/2023 20:44

Definitely not being dramatic. Personally I think 4 is way to young. Children that age have drowned in the bath.

Mariposa6 · 02/05/2023 20:44

Bear in mind when you read the responses that cautious, anxious people are over represented on mumsnet. In real life I think a lot of people do this. Statistically the risk of drowning goes down significantly around age 5, but as pps have pointed out anyone can drown in the bath.

CarrotCake01 · 02/05/2023 20:46

I can just imagine you sat there fidgeting nervously with your eyes creeping to the staircase and snapping back to your friend then slowly sliding back to the stairs, beads of sweat forming on your forehead 😂

I'd be the same though. My DD is 5 and I don't leave her in the bath. Her balance isn't good enough to trust and she sometimes slips into the water and panics.

CoffeeWithCheese · 02/05/2023 20:46

Left mine around age 9 ish but had switched to pottering and sorting laundry type stuff before then. Mainly as we’ve got a very noughties jacuzzi Bath and left totally unsupervised they figured out how to make impressive water cannons to fire at their sibling.

Turquoisestone · 02/05/2023 20:46

I’ll leave my DD sometimes to do chores but only if she’s still in earshot. She can chatter to herself and pour water from one cup into another for ages so it’s a good opportunity to get things done. Any unusual sounds or silence bring me back to the bathroom immediately.

MondayYogurt · 02/05/2023 20:46

Children can have seizures while bathing. You can google for many news stories, very sad.

FabFitFifties · 02/05/2023 20:50

I wouldn't leave a 4 year old. I would probably feel OK with 7 old, but be shouting up if I couldn't hear. I say probably, because at 8 ish my son still liked to demonstrate his breath holding skills with an audience 🙄Even older than that he liked me to stay upstairs, but shut the door.

Hardbackwriter · 02/05/2023 20:50

My nearly 5 year old takes his bath with my 2 year old, so I never leave the room. I don't know what I'd do if it were just him - I also don't like the idea and don't think I would, but rationally an awful lot of the fears that people are raising - slipping and knocking themselves out, having a seizure - are no more likely for a four year old than anyone else.

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