Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How old should a child be before they can be left unattended in a bath?

57 replies

scoobydoobydoo99 · 02/05/2023 20:25

The reason I'm asking is because I went over to my friends house today, who has a four year old daughter. I asked my friend where her daughter was and she said that her DD was in the bath. I asked if her DD was on her own and my friend replied that she was. I then spent our whole conversation feeling uncomfortable and constantly asking my friend if she was going to check on her daughter, and even offered to check on her myself. My friend said that her DD loves bath time and was probably up there "having fun" and said I was being dramatic about the whole thing. AIBU to be concerned about a 4 year old left unattended in a bath for a long period of time or is this perfectly normal?

OP posts:
maras2 · 02/05/2023 20:53

11

Hugasauras · 02/05/2023 20:53

I wouldn't be downstairs, no. I do leave DD1(4) to go into her room to lay out pyjamas, etc. and pop in and out, but I can hear her chatting and playing with toys the whole time and I am usually talking to her. Obviously when DD2 is in with her (10mo) my husband or I are in the bathroom the whole time.

Mummyratbag · 02/05/2023 20:58

Absolutely wouldn't. When oldest was 3 or 4 he fell face down in a pool of water at the beach (it was sand rather than rock so didn't hit his head). He didn't even struggle - he just lay face down in it. It was only a split second and we pulled him out, but it still haunts me 10 years on! I don't think I left either alone in the bath till about 8/9 and then with door open and told them I would help them get out.

alyceflowers · 02/05/2023 20:59

From 4 I left mine with the door open and me upstairs.

Completely alone maybe 7 or 8.

quietnightmare · 02/05/2023 21:00

By mumsnet standards probably age 41

DiscoDragon · 02/05/2023 21:01

My youngest is 9 and he's been having a bath by himself since he was 7, but the bathroom door stays open and I'll be in my bedroom reading. I can hear him the whole time in there chanting and shouting about Pokemon non-stop!

WonkeyDonkey99 · 02/05/2023 21:01

I think 4 is too young! I still check on mine and my eldest is 12 (shout through the door). I also check on my DP as he has been known to fall asleep in the bath 😂😂😂

Newgolddream70 · 02/05/2023 21:02

I still sit with DS8 but it's usually the time when we have our best chats!

Fifi0 · 02/05/2023 21:03

maras2 · 02/05/2023 20:53

11

Sorry but this is OTT my DD would be very angry shes 9 nearly 10. if I stood outside the bathroom calling and going in out every couple of seconds she wants her privacy for her body and shes entitled to it. It's a risk assessment if no previous history of seizures then yes let them bathe alone at that age. My DD wants showers now.

Uurrjb · 02/05/2023 21:04

I’m not an overly anxious person but I don’t remember leaving any of mine at 4 to do anything in their own

always within eyesight or at very least the responded to me and came to me

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 02/05/2023 21:05

I would say 8, as in I would be happy going downstairs or away from the bathroom. I would sit outside the bathroom with the door open from 5 onwards if DD were to ask. DD is 5 now and still loves me and DH to bathe her though and to help to bathe baby DS.

Bk1000 · 02/05/2023 21:05

I would leave mine in the bath from 4 but only while I was sorting washing etc in the next room and I would remind myself everytime to listen for ‘no noise’.’ My kids have always been very vocal chatting, singing playing loud games in the bath so I don’t have to check in the constantly.

My youngest is now 5 and is scared of being alone upstairs so I’m always just outside the door sorting my washing mountain if I’m not in the bathroom with him. My 8yo dd would hate to still be supervised in the bath, She can run her own water and wash her hair etc and she is definitely happier with some privacy in there!

sodastream36 · 02/05/2023 21:07

Our bathroom, kitchen and living room are all on one level. DC 4 and 3 are in the bath every night after dinner and I will tidy up and potter about whilst eyeballing them every few minutes, DH will often just help to tidy but sometimes just sits in the bathroom with them.

No way would I leave them in the bath on another level of the house.

JaninaDuszejko · 02/05/2023 21:08

My 15yo is allowed to bath by herself, my 13yo only ever showers and my 10yo demands DH reads to him in the bath (DH is very good at reading allowed and does all the voices etc, all the kids demanded he continue reading to them long after they also read to themselves). 10yo is plenty old enough to bath by himself of course but 4yo is far too young.

Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 02/05/2023 21:08

It is the inbetween that's hard to decide for most it is easy to say under 3's never for most 4 -6 years old too young to be more than a few steps away, 10-12 definitely needs to be left to get on with it, for me this was probaly about when DD was 8 or 9 but door always unlocked but I think it's a fine line between ages 6-9 and depends on child, at some point you have to let children have privacy and that includes locking the bathroom door, my DD has been allowed to lock door since she went to secondary , I'm about to have a bath in a few minutes and i will lock the door too.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 02/05/2023 21:09

11 is just creepy! I remember being weirded out by the (perfectly lovely Grandma type) babysitter supervising me at the age of 7!

I think by 5 it's ok to pop in and out.

Mummyofbananas · 02/05/2023 21:10

I have a 5, 7 and 9 year old in a small flat, I leave the room but I'm never more than a few steps away. I don't think being on a different floor is reasonable at 4.

Nereides · 02/05/2023 21:15

Probably about 10. I would never leave a 4yo!

Overrunwithlego · 02/05/2023 21:15

quietnightmare · 02/05/2023 21:00

By mumsnet standards probably age 41

Oh god I remember a thread like this before where a poster would go and check on their 18 year old!

Merryoldgoat · 02/05/2023 21:19

I leave my 5yo but I’m in the other room sorting laundry or something and can hear him. He’s noisy AF so as soon as he stops jabbering I’m out like a shot.

I wouldn’t leave him in there whilst I was on another floor.

cadburyegg · 02/05/2023 21:23

4 is too young to be left on another level for an extended period of time

I leave my 8yo because he often wants privacy but I make sure I can hear him and I do shout to him now and again. I do run up and downstairs if I need to.

I wouldn't go downstairs with my 5yo in the bath but I do leave the room to do laundry etc, I frequently check on him.

cadburyegg · 02/05/2023 21:23
  • left on another level in the bath
custardbear · 02/05/2023 21:26

Wow I still ask 11 your old to keep the door open a crack so I can shout from the lounge to check he's ok if I can't hear him in the bath, and make sure I'm relatively around and about around paddling pool (which are quite deep to be honest

Chattycathydoll · 02/05/2023 21:27

It was around that age I started leaving DD to play in the bath but she is incredibly loud so I could hear her shrieking, singing and zooming toys about the entire time. She never seemed to pause even to draw breath the entire time she was awake so I’d just run back in if she was briefly quiet or there was a particularly loud splash. If she was out of earshot I don’t think I would have.

Skybluepinky · 02/05/2023 21:30

Usually 8 or 9 but u should still be chatting to them and within earshot.